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Flash Mob Supercomputer?
dan of the north writes "The NY Times (free reg yyy bbb) is running an article on flash mob computing. More info on the first event in SF on April 3, 2004. The goal is to run Linpack and "build a home-brew computer powerful enough to be added to a list of the world's 500 fastest computers." Minimum requirements are 1.3 GHZ Pentium III/AMD equivalent or better with 256MB of RAM, a 100 Base-T network connection and a CD-ROM - laptops preferred. "After taking a shot at a speed record, the computer will be reorganized to serve as the host of a giant multiplayer video game tournament." Cool... a 2fer!"
OK so here's how it went down: I was driving early one morning and stopped at a Dunkin Donuts to get some coffee. I got myself a big coffee and sat down to drink it. As I looked around, I noticed a few other people in the place, a young couple, a big beefy truck driver type, a few others and -- lo and behold -- over in a corner of the restaurant, a big fat ass BBW stuffing her goddamn face with a box of donuts.
I was disgusted, but I tried not to let the BBW ruin my day. The sight of one of these human beings turned farm animal often does, because it disgusts me to the core. But I kept drinking my coffee.
And eventually the coffee took effect. I had to take a dump! So I went into the bathroom (they only had one bathroom for both men and women) and sat down on the toilet and took a massive, huge logpile. The turds were enormous and twisted all together. I wiped my ass and tried to flush -- but no luck. The toilet was clogged with my massive dump in it!
I shrugged and went back to my table, leaving a sopping wet pile of huge turds and paper in the clogged toilet. I sat down again and started to read the paper. All of the sudden I heard something really unpleasant. A burp from the BBW's corner. That damn pig burped out loud.
I tried to go back to my paper. But then I heard another burp. This time, when I looked up, I noticed that the big beefy truck driver type was looking annoyed. His face was flush with anger.
I hadn't read much more of the article when the BBW let a loud fart rip over in her corner. And then another. And then I heard her sigh... and then she ripped a really loud one -- brrrrrpppfffffttttt!! I was thoroughly disgusted, but before I could do anything, something unpredictable happened.
"Goddammit!" the truck driver said, getting up from his table. "Goddamnit to hell! You disgusting pig!" He walked over to the BBW's table and shouted right in her face. "You stinking animal! You fat ass pig!!!! Why don't you go fart in the damn bathroom?" He was getting angrier by the minute. The BBW just sat there, looking like she was going to cry. And then, maybe she just lost control, but she let another fart rip. BRFFFFFPPPTTT!
The truck driver was in a rage. He grabbed the fat ass by the hair and dragged her out of her seat! She was whimpering and crying and he was screaming obscenities: "you goddamn stinking fat pig! I'll teach you some goddamn manners, you filthy fat ass!"
The other customers yelled after him, to stop him, as he dragged the BBW over to the bathroom door, and kicked the door open. We all rushed to the door just in time to see this guy, in a complete rage, grabbing the BBW by the hair and dunking her head in the shit-clogged toilet! Clogged with my turds!!! The BBW's face came up, soaking wet, covered with toilet paper! Somebody shouted to the truck driver to stop -- but he just dunked the BBW's head in the toilet again! This time she came up and spat out a fat turd!
Somebody was getting ready to call the police. But right at that moment someone in the crowd said, "Well, I guess this gives a whole new meaning to DUNKIN donuts!" And we all started laughing hysterically! The whole place was laughing at the turd covered, soaking wet BBW!!!
We all went back to our cars, and drove away. What a way to start the day: with a laugh!
... on bash.org:
<@amoeba> hey, what's the keyboard shortcut to discard the current buffer in emacs?
<@thatguy> do you have 12 fingers?
<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE
Fucking hilarious!
I have carried your message of hilarity to those of comfortable stature
a in/main.pl?read=13956
http://www.abundancemagazine.com/cgi-bin/boards/m
I suggest others do the same, till all the gutbuckets realise the futility of flatulence
Ahhh... the PIII 1.3ghz. The last computer chip people
got when geeks had money to buy computers.
Before all those layoffs and outsourcings.
They have the same event in India
right now, cept their min requirments are
Athlon 64 3400+. Must be nice to be on
the cutting edge.
why does /. tempt me to right such things?
Indians could do this cheaper
If you can't accept criticism, maybe you should leave business ideas to the grownups.
If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets