Slashdot Mirror
Coffee is a "Health Drink"
WoodenRobot writes "Not that it would stop an Italian or a techie from drinking the stuff, but Chiara Trombetti, of the Humanitas Gavazzeni institute of Bergamo has reported that coffee, especially espresso, is good for you and provides numerous health benefits. All the more reason to tuck into a cup o' Joe - but no more than 3 or 4 cups a day."
It's just as good as getting a hi-colonic (sp?) so keep on drinking those 4 cups a day and keep your colon clean as a whistle!
I'm shooting for 10 cups a day, maybe I can be the first self propelled man into space.
[ Don't reply to this ]
Daily use prevents caffeine withdraw.
Just had my first double. Thanks, Krups!
Coffee (preferably espresso) is vital to my health. Of course, I'm thinking more along the lines of preventing a subdural hematoma caused by my forehead slamming onto my desk. Coffee is a great preventative for that.
Ignorance is the root of all evil.
Seriously...if I make coffee or smell it, I can feel the dogs scratchin' at the door and I gotta let them out quick. It's amazing the power of coffee. Anyone else just SMELL the stuff and feel the need to take the browns to the super bowl?
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts...for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang
So if you want to have the same results in the US, you can easily drink 3 times the amount mentioned in the Italian report.
"Honey, I feel a certain distance between us..." "Really? A 31ms ping ain't that bad..."
In an unprecedented move today, an international body of scientists declared in a press conference the findings of their latest array of studies. The scientists surprisingly came to a conclusion that they had finally managed to not find anything that is in any way detrimental to your health and stated that people should just live the way they like and not care about potential consequences to their health.
The results of the study have raised some rare disagreements amongst the community of scientists, but the consensus seems to be that all our health and nutrition related problems are over. The board of directors at the tobacco-giant Philip Morris, as well as CEOs of multinational food and beverage corporations such as Pepsi and McDonalds heralded the results as groundbreaking.
When interviewed after the press conference, one of the scientists involved in the study revealed that he had some misgivings about drawing such near-sighted and overtly optimistic conclusions, but also stressed that the benefits of letting people finally do what the fuck they want and slowly kill themselves in the process were much preferred to the endless bickering and whining about whether something is good for you or not. The scientists concluded his statement by saying that: "Every one of us has to leave this world at some point or other", but that "the fat pig over there munching Cheetos is gonna be one of the first ones to go".
Several other scientists were quoted as not giving a fuck about it either.
Identifying Starbucks as the pinnacle of coffee is like identifying Michael Jackson as the model of proper child care.
--
I Hit the Karma Cap, and All I Got Was This Lousy
Just reading your post is enough to have to send the Seals on a night mission, with only the moon for illumination. Or stock the pond with brown trout. Or dunk the Oompa Loompas at the Chocolate factory. Or make like the Cadbury bunny. Or start construction on my underwater theme park. Or bring the kids to the water slide. Or play the tuba backwards. Or eat a Snickers in reverse. Or deliver packages for UP-ass. Or give the pipes something to think about. Or take Billy Ruben to church. Or work my part-time job at Fanny Farmer. Or recreate Pangea. Or...ok thanks, I'm done.