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New Marine Species, Dragonfish Eats Lanternfish
An anonymous reader writes "A new species of dragonfish has been discovered which adds to the Earth's biological census of around 28,000 distinct vertebrates. Found by Dr. Tracey Sutton, a fish ecologist at the Harbor Branch Oceanographic Institution in Ft. Pierce, Fla, the dragonfish's home is the Bear Seamount region off New England-- surprisingly one of the most thoroughly studied marine regions on the planet since it is nearby Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute. This rare fish apparently escaped previous discovery because it has some survival disadvantages: it is the size of a hotdog, eats lanternfish using a fleshy lure like a fishing pole, and individualizes that same predatory lure to catch its mate. What apparently the dragonfish has to improve its survival chances are a camouflaging glow (bioluminescence) when seen by lanternfish from below against the sun's glare-- and real big teeth."
You know those TV commercials with "Steven" for Dell, and those cow commercials for Gateway? Here's what I'd like to see: The commercial opens with a distant establishing shot of a verdant country pasture bathed in early morning mists. Cut to a close-up of Steven's smiling face. We see that Steven is animated, his tongue darting out of his mouth and his eyes rolling up into his head. Cut to a medium shot. We see that Steven is fucking the Gateway cow in the ass. The cow turns and looks at the camera and says "moo". Behind a tree we see Teddy, that Gateway ponytail poofster voyeuristically wanking off. Just as Steven is about to cum he blurts out to the cow "Dude, you're getting a Dell", followed by an explosive orgasm. Puts a new meaning to the phrase "farmer in the Dell".