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Atiyah and Singer to Share the 2004 Abel Prize
sbar writes "The 2004 Abel prize-winners have been announced.From the website: 'The Atiyah-Singer index theorem is one of the great landmarks of twentieth century mathematics, influencing profoundly many of the most important later developments in topology, differential geometry and quantum field theory. Its authors, both jointly and individually, have been instrumental in repairing a rift between the worlds of pure mathematics and theoretical particle physics, initiating a cross-fertilization which has been one of the most exciting developments of the last decades.'"
It was an unquestionable aspect of proper latrine conduct. The strong sulfur scent produced by the striking of a match can over power even the most potent fecal odors. Striking a post bowel movement match was a habit that my parents had instilled in me at an early age.
It felt good being home from college. Relaxing...no roomates knocking at the door. At last I could take a dump in peace. I glanced about the bathroom. Nothing had change. "Ah hah!" I exclaimed. The bathmat was different. The old one had a.....my thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a resounding fart. The fart startled me so. I sat there staring down between my legs. A little turd floated past in the current like a tourist in the whirl pool at Waterworld. Having lost my train of thought, I looked up and noticed the can of matches on the window sill. I reached out and retrieved a book of matches from the tarnished tin. "A little controlled pyromania should help pass the time" I thought to myself.
I struck a match and watched it burn towards my fingers. The orange glow was mesmerizing and the smell of sulfur seemed pleasant and relaxing. Alas, the flame began to wane as it crawled up the match stick. I dropped it and watched it fall. As it fell, my amusement was promptly dowsed by the horror of a bleak realisation. A string of expletives flashed across my mind as I watched the match tumble between my thighs. There was a thunderous whoosh as the lingering methane fart fumes ignited. The force of the blast flung my genitals upward with such momentum that they flopped against my abdomen. Their upward trajectory was accompanied by a ghostly ball of blue flame. I was still bent forward staring between my legs when the fire ball reached my face, singeing my eyebrows off and igniting the roll of toilet paper that dangled from the dispenser beside me.
As rapidly as it had ignited, the blazing clowd of fart vanished leaving only the pungent odor of burnt hair which corresponded remarkably with the sensation of anal baldness that I was experiencing. Heretofore, my theories concerning the flamability of toilet paper had been purely hypothetical and as such, purely unfounded. I can now state with absolute confidence that toilet paper burns at an astonishingly rapid rate! In my panicked state, I siezed the t.p. just above the flaming portion and yanked in hopes that I could halt the ascent of the flame and thus prevent it from engulfing the entire roll. Alas, the t.p. would not tear away from the roll! I began pulling the t.p. from the roll hand over hand as if I were climbing a rope. I succeeded only in feeding the flames . The faster I pulled, the faster the flame traveled! I couldn't think! It was all happening so fast.
My panic grew and as it did so, I lost control of my bladder. My "significant member" began to thrash about like an unmanned fire hose as the urine sprayed forth. My arms ached with exhaustion as the lactic acid began to retard their motion. I watched in horror as the flames danced between my fingers on final appraoch to the spinning roll. It was then that a single stream of urine sailed from my gyrating member and dowsed the flaming t.p.. I sat there stunned and exhausted as t.p. ashes floated about in the air. And that's why I don't light my farts.
Thanks for your patient reading!
revive THE PUPETMASTER and the he will fight the demented dentist of DEBAUCHARY until the death
Can it save you from the anus of the oil god when she comes for you in the middle of the night while you are sleeping with one leg off the bed and your thumb in your mouth?
Because I've been working on my theories.
You all make me sick.
Don't take that wrong.
i am on a midnight shift running a giant atomic atom smasher and this article made me waste 10e9 antiportons when i FELL ASLEEP FROM BOREDOM! Even the ubernerds in the control room thimk it's stupid. I'm gonna surf more oscilliscope pron ...
I thought the singer Aaliyah was dead?
Oh wait, don't have my glasses on.
Ah, right the Atiyah-Singer Theorem. Never before have things so failed to become clear with my specs on.
John.
The new tower of Babel.
Different professions find that the language is not up to the task of quickly and concisely describing what they do, so they re-use words giving them new meanings, invent new ones and in the process make it difficult for the layman to understand WTF they are talking about. Sometimes deliberately but more often simply due to convenience.
In order to even have a chance of understanding, you'd have to know the meanings of the underlying language, otherwise it's just babble.
It's worth noting that IT professionals are particularly guilty of the practice.
Government of the people, by corporate executives, for corporate profits.