GNAA presents..
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus.
By Horatio Brunswick
New York, NY - GNAA (Gay Nigger Association of America) The GNAA today claimed responsibility for the release of the devastating trojan Momfuck.1o1, which has caused an estimated 486 billion dollars US in lost productivity and unread penis enlargement offers.
In a drastic escalation of their widely criticized christmas island bombing campaign which has killed thousands of defenceless CI natives, the GNAA made vague threats last week in a "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website. In the post (not published here due to profanity and ascii nudity) the GNAA threatened the "Destruction of all internet" if net martyr http://www.goatse.cx was not immediately reinstated. Initally dismissed by self proclaimed security experts Cowboykneel and Linux Toreballs as a childish lark, the world was totally unprepared for the storm to come.
Momfuck.lol exploits three vulnerabilities within Linux's UPnP implementation: a remotely exploitable buffer overflow that allows an attacker gain SYSTEM level access to any default installation of Linux, a Denial of Service (DoS) attack, and a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack. Within hours of release, every backbone in the country had become infected with the virus, bringing the internet to a crashing halt. The DHS announced an orange alert when the virus spread to even such such remote non-countries as Canada and England, becomming a worldwide computer epidemic. The sequence of events that followed was devastating. ATMs in several states began routing funds from caucasian bank accounts into a GNAA controlled cayman islands account. Traffic lights in all major metropolitan areas malfunctioned, displaying pink rather than the standard red yellow and green configuration, causing unprecedented accidents and traffic delays. Radio stations ceased transmitting their standard programming and began a round the clock broadcast of a bootleg of the Village People's "YMCA" which was altered to "GNAA." Perhaps most horrifyingly, The FOX network's LOL sunday programming lineup was interrupted, and replaced by a graphic video of two men having anal sex, backed by the lyrics "Boom I got your boyfriend".
The FBI has fallen under heavy criticism for their failure to respond to the threat of the GNAA. The general public seems uwilling to accept their claims that the post was below their current threshold. The FBI's top cyber-security unit warned consumers and corporations Friday night to take new steps beyond those recommended by SCO Corp. to protect against hackers who might try to attack major flaws discovered in the newest version of Linux software, or to get a life, faggots. FBI Department head John Asscrotch is expected to resign in disgrace shortly.
What follows is a transcript of an actual internet relay chat conversation, with two individuals who seem to have been infected by momfuck.lol. It is my hope that this will help computer users to recognize and avoid the virus if encountered.
* Now talking in #eurotekken
* Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c'
* Set by SirCane on Tue Apr 06 15:57:26
<l0de> "Mom, I can't sleep would you mind if I get in bed with you?
<l0de> I have virus!
<l0de> She was wearing a baby doll semi-see through nightie, and was embarrassed to let me in bed with her.
<subt-L> haha.. this is a fucking crazy virus..
<l0de> I can't type this fast!
<l0de> However she remembered how I had let her sleep with me when she needed to.
<l0de> Oh my god.
<l0de> "Sure John, it's a big bed," she said in an uncertain tone.
<l0d
Re:GNAA presents..
by
virid
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Why is this modded up? I'm sure many Slashdotters (like myself) find it offensive and off-topic.
1) The nigerian is not said to be gay.
2) Nigger is an offensive word that shouldn't be used to describe *anybody*.
3) Said Nigerian is not *actually* from Outer Space.
Moderators please mod parent to *OFFTOPIC*.
-- "The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want." - F Scott Fitzgerald
Sounds like something...
by
cyt0plas
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus.
By Horatio Brunswick
New York, NY - GNAA (Gay Nigger Association of America) The GNAA today claimed
responsibility for the release of the devastating trojan Momfuck.1o1, which has
caused an estimated 486 billion dollars US in lost productivity and unread
penis enlargement offers.
In a drastic escalation of their widely criticized christmas island bombing
campaign which has killed thousands of defenceless CI natives, the GNAA made
vague threats last week in a "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for
trolls" website. In the post (not published here due to profanity and ascii
nudity) the GNAA threatened the "Destruction of all internet" if net martyr
http://www.goatse.cx was not immediately reinstated. Initally dismissed by self
proclaimed security experts Cowboykneel and Linux Toreballs as a childish lark,
the world was totally unprepared for the storm to come.
Momfuck.lol exploits three vulnerabilities within Linux's UPnP implementation:
a remotely exploitable buffer overflow that allows an attacker gain SYSTEM
level access to any default installation of Linux, a Denial of Service (DoS)
attack, and a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack. Within hours of
release, every backbone in the country had become infected with the virus,
bringing the internet to a crashing halt. The DHS announced an orange alert
when the virus spread to even such such remote non-countries as Canada and
England, becomming a worldwide computer epidemic. The sequence of events that
followed was devastating. ATMs in several states began routing funds from
caucasian bank accounts into a GNAA controlled cayman islands account. Traffic
lights in all major metropolitan areas malfunctioned, displaying pink rather
than the standard red yellow and green configuration, causing unprecedented
accidents and traffic delays. Radio stations ceased transmitting their standard
programming and began a round the clock broadcast of a bootleg of the Village
People's "YMCA" which was altered to "GNAA." Perhaps most horrifyingly, The FOX
network's LOL sunday programming lineup was interrupted, and replaced by a
graphic video of two men having anal sex, backed by the lyrics "Boom I got your
boyfriend".
The FBI has fallen under heavy criticism for their failure to respond to the
threat of the GNAA. The general public seems uwilling to accept their claims
that the post was below their current threshold. The FBI's top cyber-security
unit warned consumers and corporations Friday night to take new steps beyond
those recommended by SCO Corp. to protect against hackers who might try to
attack major flaws discovered in the newest version of Linux software, or to
get a life, faggots. FBI Department head John Asscrotch is expected to resign
in disgrace shortly.
What follows is a transcript of an actual internet relay chat conversation,
with two individuals who seem to have been infected by momfuck.lol. It is my
hope that this will help computer users to recognize and avoid the virus if
encountered.
* Now talking in #eurotekken
* Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c'
* Set by SirCane on Tue Apr 06 15:57:26
<l0de> "Mom, I can't sleep would you mind if I get in bed with you?
<l0de> I have virus!
<l0de> She was wearing a baby doll semi-see through nightie, and was embarrassed to let me in bed with her.
<subt-L> haha.. this is a fucking crazy virus..
<l0de> I can't type this fast!
<l0de> However she remembered how I had let her sleep with me when she needed to.
<l0de> Oh my god.
<l0de> "Sure John, it's a big bed," she said in an uncertain tone.
<l0d
This sounds like something out of Total Recall, or some other cheezy scifi flick.
Next thing you know, you find out they are paying you in "Hillary Dollars".
Contact Me (got tired of viruses emailing me).
I think they must have smoked about that much worth of Ganja to have come up with this one and they need to pay their dealer up..
comb the desert!
"Were Alph, the sacred river ran, through caverns measureless to man, --Coleridge
nT
It's slang. You know, what the kids speak?
stuff
seriously, this post is junk.
A Halo 2 reference?
clicky