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Brain Chip Approved For Paralysis Research
dalillama writes "The BBC is reporting that tests are underway for the clinical trials of the "Brain Gate" computer chip, placed in the brains of paralysis patients. They hope the chips will map out nerve impulses which are sent to limbs, so that they can then be translated into computer code and sent to future artificial limbs. " Thanks to Robert Brooks for pointing out this closely related piece.
"Honey, can you please reboot my dick? I accidently just did the cat. Thanks"
Table-ized A.I.
...when High Times picks it up!
Combine this with the robotic exoskelton legs that MIT(?) just revealed, and we'll have Stephen Hawking in the marathon in no time (a la Onion)
I'd mouth off to John Ashcroft. That's how Bush got his.
WWJD? JWRTFA!
...the porn / spam industry get's a hold of these?
I can't wait until I start receiving the "enhance your member through the powers of bionics!" spam...
Because they don't know which parts to connect. It would suck if every time you had to go pee your right leg would start shaking uncontrollably.
He tried to kill me with a forklift!
Honey, stop dreaming about internet p0rn, I'm trying to surf Stewart living and I keep getting re-directed!!
Mod +5 Drunk
It's not what it looks like mom, I swear! I can't stop my arm!!
What about a mechwarrior style exoskeleton with the controls hooked into your brain. The days of geeks being beaten up would finally be over >:-)
OK, so you start with artificial limbs, move on to military projects with vision, audio, vehicle control, then in 30 years it hits the commercial market.
Government of the people, by corporate executives, for corporate profits.
We have the technology. We can rebuild him, make him faster, stronger, better...
Whooo chechechechechecheche...
-- the only good thing the French ever did was two chicks at one time
Taking the biological route is humiliating. Where is the innovation?
Surely we must outdo nature by our technology. Otherwise we can never fully escape the nature's trap of evolution by mortaility.
How long before I can use my laptop to hack into my friend's motor control and make him dance?
~~Guildencrantz
Penguin Trivia #46: Animals who are not penguins can only wish they were. -- Chicago Reader 10/15/82
What, you mean yours doesn't???
who immediately thinks of a remotely controlled girlfriend with force-feedback? :)
They could hook up the reboot feature to your vocal cords and tactile sensations. So, to reset the chip, you'd just have to tap yourself in the chest twice and shout "REBOOT!"
Heh...until someone hacks your WEP key and gets access to your brain!
I can see it now, some guy is sitting at home and all of a sudden a script kiddie pulls up in front of his house with a laptop and his newly downloaded copy of Da' Chronic's Chronic Crip Controller and WEP Stealer. Suddenly Joe the Brain Chip tester starts running around bumping into the walls and doing backflips!
The next day he walks outside and sees on his sidewalk: 3\/|1 |-|4>0r $7r||3$ 4g4||\|!!! f33r |\/|y 1337|\|3$$!!!
My (admittedly limited) understanding of the brain is that it sends an electric impulse to the muscles so why not try to emulate that impulse?
Reverse engineering is the only way at the moment do so at the moment since the Supreme Being hasn't opened the source to the API.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Dude, I just pinged your head. Your brain is lagging big time.
You say things that offend me and I can deal with it. Can you?
Judging by the state of public urinals, I'd say this is a common problem.
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
It's be a VERY long time since I've seen a .sig that was appropriate for the post ... :-)
We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
(Insert standard Windows BSOD joke here.)
"I can't make it into work today... yeah, the license expired on my brain-to-leg bridge controller."
<insert witty linux comment here>
Nope,
Geeks would be beaten up by bullies in larger, stronger, and better looking exoskeletons that all the girl exoskeletons want... I hate those bully exoskeletons!
Would I be able to hijack my very own bionic man via my bluwtooth enabled cell phone?
--
We can rebuild him, we have the technology
--
Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed "nucular" accelerator on his back.
Sig changed for readability by G.W.
Stephen Hawking Builds Robotic Exoskeleton.
[i]what are the last signals it sends out?[/i]
HUP
Nope,
Exoskeletally-enhanced bullies beating up geeks would be h4x0r3d by geeks. They'd either learn to hack back (in which case, they'd become more like us), or would die hilarious deaths as their own exoskeletons were turned against them.
Last words of that guy who bugged you in third grade: "g0dd4mn g33k m3ch5x0r1ng f4gz0rzzzaaaaaaaauuuuunnngh!"
Now we need to perfect the genetic technology so that Spider Man can fight him off when he shows up and starts trashing New York.