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Project Grizzly Bear-Proof Suit Up For Auction

Posted by simoniker on from the electric-boogaloo dept.

Ch_Omega writes "The Project Grizzly suit, The 'Ursus Mark VI', a 'grizzly-proof' suit of armour', was mentioned on Slashdot a few years ago. For all of you who then wished for such a suit (for wrestling with Grizzly Bears?), both the original Mark VI and the improved Mark VII (featuring 'a built-in video screen, a cooling system, pressure-bearing titanium struts, protective airbags, shock absorbers, a robotic third arm, built-in regular arms and swivel shoulders') are now for sale on eBay!"

26 of 300 comments (clear)

  1. Hrm... by raehl · · Score: 4, Funny

    Think it has enough heat sinks to support jump jets?

    --
    paintball
  2. Coincidence? by grub · · Score: 4, Funny


    What a coincidence! Just last night I was having dinner when I though to myself "Self... your life would improve immeasurably if only you had something you could take on a grizzly bear in."

    --
    Trolling is a art,
  3. Mech by Thanatopsis · · Score: 4, Funny

    If it was a 40 Ton mech I might consider bidding. As it is, it looks like a 300 lb walking sauna.

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    Thalasar
  4. It looks like something from Unreal Tournament. by Faust7 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I love the description of the Black Box:

    "Voice-activated recording device... to record bear sounds, or, in the event of a catastrophic failure of the Ursus Mark VI, last words."

    I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"

    --
    The coolest voice ever.
    1. Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament. by The+Ultimate+Fartkno · · Score: 5, Funny



      > in the event of a catastrophic failure

      What separates a catastrophic failure from a regular failure when you're talking about this suit? I suppose it's the *speed* at which you're eaten by the bear.

    2. Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament. by PetoskeyGuy · · Score: 4, Funny

      I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"

      I wonder if they would have time to carve that on the inside of the suit...

  5. Simpsons... by j0hnfr0g · · Score: 5, Funny

    I holding out for the one that Homer made.

  6. it also repels women by victor_the_cleaner · · Score: 5, Funny

    In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.

    1. Re:it also repels women by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

      In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.

      At least you are for sure guarenteed not to get laid by a bear.

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
  7. buttocks by maxbang · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does this suit leave my buttocks exposed? Because I need the freedom of movement. Bowel movement, that is.

    --
    I also reply below your current threshold.
  8. Sweet. by American+AC+in+Paris · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Mark VII: just the thing for all those geeks who can't quite work up the nerve to ask Samus Aran out on a date.

    --

    Obliteracy: Words with explosions

  9. Money back... by silverhalide · · Score: 4, Funny

    I guess he doesn't have to worry about people asking for their money back if it doesn't work right...

  10. Re:Well then.... by GreyyGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, because bears are well known for their strategic thinking and willingness to accept a siege mentality... ;)

  11. up-and-coming industry? by mabu · · Score: 4, Funny

    The seller's ebay ID is "bearsuits2" - I guess he's not the only one in the lucrative bear suit marketplace.

    1. Re:up-and-coming industry? by tgd · · Score: 4, Funny

      Bet you a dollar the first one was for something kinky.

  12. "out of Hurtubise's mind" by mccrew · · Score: 4, Funny
    The suits are unique because they were built totally out of Hurtubise's mind, with no blueprints, drawings or schematics.

    I'll second the "out of Hurtubise's mind" part.

    --
    Hey, Windows users, there is no such thing as "forward" slash, there is only slash and backslash.
  13. More like Montgomery Burns last words in... by mykepredko · · Score: 4, Funny

    the Second "Treehouse of Horror".

    Bones Crushed... Organs leaking vital fluids... Loss of Appetite...

    Or, my favourite:

    It's so simple, I don't know why nobody has seen this before. The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem is....Gak

    myke

    --
    Mimetics Inc. Twitter
  14. Re:Maybe it's not just me. by Alkaiser · · Score: 4, Funny

    Seriously, you can get nailed by a car at like 40 miles an hour. This would be great for things like...crossing the street.

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    Netjak.com independent reviews of domestic & import video ga
  15. used to be $500,000 by SethJohnson · · Score: 4, Funny


    When the first slashdot article on him came out, he was selling the suit for $500,000 (US). Since it appears it didn't sell at that price, it seems as if he's throwing it on eBay to see what it will fetch. $5,000 is really not a very high starting bid. Keep in mind the thousands of hours he put into making these suits and he's making less than a buck an hour.

    Practical use? There's all kinds of expensive crap on the market with no practical use. Some people call it art.
    --
    $5 / month hosted VPS on linux = awesome!
  16. Anybody remember the documentary? by brutusbuck · · Score: 3, Funny

    The main things I remember were the "tests" he performed on the suits. Tests like the time honored "hit by a truck" test, the "rolling down a big friggin hill" test, and the "swing a giant log at my head" test. Forget the suit. I'll buy it for those tapes!

  17. Re:Maybe it's not just me. by F34nor · · Score: 4, Funny

    Reminds me of Blazing Saddles...

    Bart: "I better go check out this Mongo character." [Bart reaches for his gun]
    Jim: "Oh no, don't do that."
    Bart: "Why not?"
    Jim: "If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."

  18. Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all by Suidae · · Score: 4, Funny

    The best protection from a pissed off grizzly is a friend who runs slower than you.

  19. Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all by American+AC+in+Paris · · Score: 5, Funny
    If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

    Bears have no sense of decorum, and would not be adversely affected by the sight of a geek in a thong.

    This leaves the desert eagle, which would probably just try to claw your eyes out. You'd be better off with a reliable, large-caliber pistol or something.

    --

    Obliteracy: Words with explosions

  20. Re:Maybe it's not just me. by ePhil_One · · Score: 3, Funny
    Seriously, does anyone here think that something like this will become minitaurized enough to be of practical use for bicyclists and pedestrains?

    What, for really, really, tiny pedestrians and bicyclists?

    --
    You are in a maze of twisted little posts, all alike.
  21. Mark I through V? by WasteOfAmmo · · Score: 3, Funny
    One has to wonder what happened with the prototypes previous to the Mark VI.

    [control] OK all systems green, release the grizzly bear.

    [tester] You want a piece of me? I'll show you what a real bear hug is!

    [grizzly] {hmmm, another chewy toy...}

    [tester] aaaaaaaeeeeeiiiiii!

    [control] Oh my... quick turn the cameras off!!

    [project leader] Someone phone HR and tell them not to cancel that job posting quite yet...sigh!

    Merlin.

  22. Re:Great advice... by JesseL · · Score: 4, Funny

    My favorite advice for people in bear country:
    If you're going to carry a handgun for bear defense, have the front sight removed.

    It won't hurt as much when the bear shoves it up you ass.

    --
    "Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado!"