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Army Plans Overhaul of Infantry Gear
nxg125 writes "Wired is running an article about a seven-year, $250 million revamping of the US Army's uniforms. One of the major obstacles is going to be how to power all the electronic devices that the soldiers will use. 'They have at least one idea, though. "Avoid the use of Microsoft Windows operating systems," a recent memo on the subject directed. FFW is going open source. Cleaner software needs less energy to run.'"
Awww. I was so looking forward to the Yankee "Blue Soldier of Death" putting fear in the hearts of the enemy from the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Our Armed forces are going to be one giant beowulf cluster!
Isn't it interesting how you come to recognize posters based solely on their sigs???
Non-bloat software? I'm surprised the Army didn't just try to strap a nuclear power plant to the soldier's back.
Pork! Pork! Pork!
How to power those things? Haven't they seen the Matrix?
Boy you know it's not going to be very easy to edit whatever.conf on your jacket. Maybe they should reconsider this.
Well, the USMC uses suits like this that are powered by sound. Tiny receivers built into a Marine's helmet transmit sound energy into a belt-mounted unit to the rear. Guttural, high-pitched sounds generate the most energy, so when you see a sergeant right up in a private's face screaming, he's actually just recharging the private's batteries. No, really!
You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just as you see the whites of their eyes
FIRE.EXE has performed an illegal operation and w.....
All I got when I was in the military was a gun, uncomfortable boots, and a pair of clean socks. Luckily, I didn't see any combat or I would have needed an extra pair of clean underwear too.
Cause everyone wants a free Xbox360
Get help writing battle plan.
Set us up the bomb.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
One of the major obstacles is going to be how to power all the electronic devices that the soldiers will use
Build their helmets with solar panels
(that the US army spends most of it's time in deserts or barren hills would tell you that this'd be the most efficient thing to do)
they better be having one hell of a bake sale to make that kind of money...
Open source in the military? Has anybody made a Colonel Panic joke yet?
"Enemy spotted, 100 yards and closing.
"Open fire soldier!"
"Sir my weapon says it's not responding"
"Reboot soldier!"
"I did sir, but each time I reboot it still says "Remote Procedure Call (RPC) service terminated unexpectedly.""
"Disable your wireless connection soldier and switch to manual override, we're being exploited!"
Meanwhile somewhere in the middle east...
"Heheheheh.........silly Americans...."
'DeGay and his fellow Future Force Warriors call it a "load-bearing chassis."' - load-bearing chassis, reminds me of some PC term like 'Big Boned'. She ain't heavy, she's just got a load-bearing chasis.
"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit." - Mitch Hedberg
If this means full iPods built into the suit, count me in! Where's the nearest recruiting office? Who needs ammo when you are armed with 5,000 songs.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
As a consequence, the military has chosen to provide the utmost camoflauge, while at the same time provide a uniform that simply scares the hell out of the enemy. HERE is the prototype. (I know geocities, I'm lazy it's the first imge I could find)
Using a Windows version could really bring about a whole new meaning to the phrase "Blue Screen of DEATH"
I'm only paranoid because everyone is against me...
"Avoid the use of Microsoft Windows operating systems,"
Too bad. I guess that means no MS Word either. I guess that means no clippy, and I guess that means no:
It looks like you're killing people. Would you like help?
"All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
"Windows has detected new hardware. Please insert the Windows installation disk."
WWJD? JWRTFA!
"History is written by the victors!" -Chancellor Gowron
"There is no spoon." - The Matrix
and why is he reading my hard disk?
Conservatism: The fear that somewhere, somehow, someone you think is your inferior is being treated as your equal.
"No need for a cheap-shot."
Agreed. I read that little quip and thought I was reading a Dilbert cartoon. "Next we want you to write software that makes the laptop lighter."
Commander: "Here they are men, coming over the crest...!"
Grunt: "Sir, it looks like they are using flame throwers! We were only equipped for ballistics and hand-to-hand combat."
Commander: "No problem soldier, we'll upgrade to flame-resistant armor. I'll issue the command."
Grunt: "Hurry! They're coming over the hill!"
Grunt: "They're getting really close now!!!"
Commander: "Hold them off!"
**flames erupt**
[ENTER SCREEN, TOP RIGHT: Clippy, a handsome rogue]
Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.
"The US (and most other nations) is a nation that obeys the Geneva Convention."
Don't tell me: you haven't been keeping up with world events.
(Microsoft looses millions in DOD revinue)
Ha-Ha.
Forgot to make it "plain old text" rather than HTML. Sorry; here it is, corrected.
Send The Marines
[spoken]
What with President Johnson practicing escalatial on the Vietnamese and then the Dominican crisis on top of that it has been a nervous year and people have begun to feel like a Christian scientist with appendicitis. Fortunately in times of crisis just like this America always has this number one instrument of diplomacy to fall back on. Here's a song about it.
[Cassons song intro]
When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve,
Who is it that always intervenes?
U.N. and O.A.S.,
They have their place, I guess,
But first,
we'll send the Marines!
We'll send them all we've got,
John Wayne and Randolph Scott,
Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
To the shores of Tripoli,
But not to Mississippoli,
What do we do? We send the Marines!
For might makes right,
Until they've seen the light,
They've got to be protected,
All their rights respected,
'Till somebody we like can be elected.
The members of the corps
All hate the thought of war,
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means.
Stop calling it aggression,
We hate that expression!
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo,
They love us everywhere we go,
So when in doubt,
Send the Marines!
> "Enemy spotted, 100 yards and closing.
> "Open fire soldier!"
> "Sir my weapon says it's not responding"
"There isn't a driver for the magazine loader."
"The firing module wasn't compiled into the kernel."
"There's no documentation. Throw rocks at the enemy while I look around on Google, Usenet, and IRC."
"The trigger code wasn't tested with this distro. The programmer wants me to use JimBobsBaitAndTackle Linux instead."
Couldn't that fall out of the plane as well?????
-------- -------- Support Wesley Clark for president!!!
Hey! Hostiles coming straight at us! /dev/sda1 /mnt/gun /dev/sda1 on /mnt/gun /dev/sda1 /mnt/gun /dev/sda1 is not a valid block peripheral /dev/brain does not exist, using /dev/null instead
soldier@us.mil> mount
error: only root user can mount
Shit!
soldier@us.mil> mount
error:
They're coming near us!
soldier@us.mil> ps aux | grep enemy_soldier
soldier@us.mil> kill -9 2784
error: no such process
What do we do now?
error:
RUN!!!!!