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Spam as Poetry
ayahner writes "My spam filter receives about 500/wk, and within those frisky messages, among the pulp and porn, comes some pretty daring poetry. So instead of simply removing the spam, I have decided to peruse my spam library and use the best to spur my creative energies. Do any /. members have their own favorites? I have compiled a few of my own, and expect to add many more over the next few weeks as a creativity exercise. All of the verses are taken from actual spam, and copied directly without modification. Some of them are nonsense. Others are real text of spam, delivering their message. When combined, they tend to form semi-articulate sentences. I see a virtual e.e. cummings here, an occasional Shakespeare there."
I actually got a message title "HOT E.E. CUMMINGS POETRY ACTION!" That one took me by suprise.
My spam filter [gets] 500 a week,
and within those frisky messages,
I have compiled a few of my own... to
form semi-articulate sentences.
the spammers have succeeded in....oh wait.
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth me beside the still waters,
He restoreth my credit and consolidateth my debts,
For as little as $1,750,
If I act now.
If you're not careful, some of these spammers might try to sue you for copyright infringement!
main(){char I,l,O[]={'-',1-1,0,(1<<5)-1,0+'-',-10-1,-10,11-0,
I expect universities to start issuing degrees in English with a Spam option now.
I won't settle for anything less.
There was a young man from Alabama ...waits for applause... not a sausage :-(
Who had attrocious grammar
His poetry stunk
So he did a bunk
And works in Florida as a spamer.
In the title, "What makes a sock a diabetic sock?"
Uhh, diabetes?
Have you been recieving spam from Vogon.com? That is some bad poetry. kvn
Here's one I've been saving, just because it's rather amusing. As a whole, it doesn't make sense, but the mental images are fun.
From: "Roxanne Tate"
Subject: this site helped me save money Fr0c
Most shadows believe that satellite defined by pee on particle accelerator around. Any mating ritual can recognize cyprus mulch behind marzipan, but it takes a real bubble to light bulb of judge. If apartment building toward boogie near briar patch, then piroshki beyond reads a magazine. Most impresarios believe that gypsy around fetishist secretly admire cream puff related to reactor.Whenyou see paycheck defined by fighter pilot, it means that shadow inside diskette feels nagging remorse.piroshki remain resplendent.
/ \
\ / ASCII ribbon campaign for peace
x
/ \
You just killed 1337. Gee, thanks.
In search of rhyme I spam peruse,
With stalling breath I moan in Bayes.
I've heard of life. But of such ruse
No proof I've seen in all my days.
If you open yourself to the foo, You and foo become one.
I got a spam the other day that was written in German, more or less. I ran it through babelfish and got the following amusing blank verse. You gotta love "rat-sharp Girls in the wildest floats." It has such a lovely rhythm.
Geile, lsterne virgins with those
it itches so correctly.
They want you,
it need it.
Heie galleries and sharp picture series.
The geilsten photographs of
willing and rat-sharp Girls
in the wildest floats.
You want the heiesten Teeniesex?
Then schau equivalent purely,
because the whole groe selection
stands for you to the Verfgung.
All of the verses are taken from actual spam, and copied directly without modification.
Wow, plagiarizing spam, that's a new low. ;o)
Yeah, it's a joke, but got me thinking...if I got caught plagiarizing spam, that would be the worst punishment they could dish out.
"Pssst, look, there goes the guy that plagiarized spam."
I think I would kill myself.Have you ever listened to a Skinny Puppy *fingerquote* song *fingerquote*?
Here's a few examples:
Harsh Stone White
harsh stone white eyes behold bruise baths soak crying bones every
days appeal to stop spirit calm on valium hate permeates and fills the air
icy clouds the atmosphere illusions pull hair no reaction how was
this done it exists by extraction of reason drooling drips the bile
of sanity through the thought lines vomiting were even the clock wailed
and sped past two tic tic toc in time in the real understanding myself thinking
stand back unafraid and unaffected stand back non molested were
even down down down again down here in the cracks face hidden cracks
harsh stone white even were even
Worlock
binge cringe on the fringe sloppy mincing eyedropping biopsy cyclops overlooks
optic options rotton showstopper skinpopper babbler dabbler
self confessed criminal tore pen in vain instant still spellbound game
stock talk back rock reencounter incident subsistance inexistant
non committed unwitted oblivious habitual resistor buff the stuff roughed
up edge fluent nudge pre-collect ignition motivation inexistant wasted
views thats all they see blue hot blood guild optic nerve with the right attitude
you will succed blue self abusive recluse too late for me make
shifting peace settling crazy things keep your eyes open soft spoken
changes nothing a view so cruel dogs body comatose torchlight roast
disinterest disinfect retold impressed by possession insiders know
refresh detained contest off and pure sure tonight it feeds itself
freeze in time or shadows climb distracting override instincts
evolve and try over and over wasted truth why call at all blue hot lines
eventual decline with the right attitude you will succed blue resent
that discontent sidestep define the state of things so far crazy
things a view so cruel
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
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Ok, ignore what I said above, I found two previous /. articles:
You see that key next to the '=' key? Yeah, the one labeled "backspace". It comes in handy in these situations.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!