Spam as Poetry

ayahner writes "My spam filter receives about 500/wk, and within those frisky messages, among the pulp and porn, comes some pretty daring poetry. So instead of simply removing the spam, I have decided to peruse my spam library and use the best to spur my creative energies. Do any /. members have their own favorites? I have compiled a few of my own, and expect to add many more over the next few weeks as a creativity exercise. All of the verses are taken from actual spam, and copied directly without modification. Some of them are nonsense. Others are real text of spam, delivering their message. When combined, they tend to form semi-articulate sentences. I see a virtual e.e. cummings here, an occasional Shakespeare there."

Comments

I actually...

[Digitus1337]

I actually got a message title "HOT E.E. CUMMINGS POETRY ACTION!" That one took me by suprise.

stolen from Satirewire's SPAM poetry contest

[7Ghent]

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth me beside the still waters,
He restoreth my credit and consolidateth my debts,
For as little as $1,750,
If I act now.

yeah.

[abscondment]

I expect universities to start issuing degrees in English with a Spam option now.

I won't settle for anything less.

Vogons are sending spam?

[kevn]

Have you been recieving spam from Vogon.com? That is some bad poetry. kvn

Taken out of context...

[GarfBond]

I saw this in my spam, and couldn't help but save it. It's only one line though, the rest of the "poem" wasn't all that interesting.

Better to be safe than.. punch a 5th grader.

Truly insightful words.

Re:Jumbler!

[wik]

Here's one I've been saving, just because it's rather amusing. As a whole, it doesn't make sense, but the mental images are fun.

From: "Roxanne Tate"
Subject: this site helped me save money Fr0c

Most shadows believe that satellite defined by pee on particle accelerator around. Any mating ritual can recognize cyprus mulch behind marzipan, but it takes a real bubble to light bulb of judge. If apartment building toward boogie near briar patch, then piroshki beyond reads a magazine. Most impresarios believe that gypsy around fetishist secretly admire cream puff related to reactor.Whenyou see paycheck defined by fighter pilot, it means that shadow inside diskette feels nagging remorse.piroshki remain resplendent.

Who is it from?

[slender]

I also love the creative names that spammers use to get past SPAM filters. Another reason to rejoice in the creativeness of SPAM - NOT! Here are just some of my favorites:

• Differences E. Dolby
• Tastelessness L. Gladiolus
• Leaseholder Q. Refraction
• Furnished B. Trite
• Repudiated I. Cycle
• Delirious B. Lunchtime
• Clubbing O. Bounce
• Diameter R. Analytic
• Stitches O. Latched
• Plateaus E. Inhalant
• Portent A. Meningitis
• Spinnaker L. Rostov
• Kremlinologist L. Balls
• Entombment S. Accrual
• Periwigging I. Saxon
• Mismanagement H. Eucharists
• Needled J. Retches
• Substantiate H. Latticeworks
• Narragansett D. Tears
• Cannonball H. Sewer
• Francesca D. House
• Sections U. Caesarean
• Normand U. Fonding
• Decreeing O. Mnemonic
• Utilization I. Narration
• Carolina L. Maloney
• Gorgeous U. Cookout
• Skullcaps Q. Code
• Brunettes F. Impeccability
• Mealier T. Angolans
• Electrolytes O. Smooches
• Pulping H. Weakened
• Panicked Q. Televangel
• Rejoined G. Succor
• Secretions F. Broths

It itches so correctly

[flabbergasted]

I got a spam the other day that was written in German, more or less. I ran it through babelfish and got the following amusing blank verse. You gotta love "rat-sharp Girls in the wildest floats." It has such a lovely rhythm.

Geile, lsterne virgins with those
it itches so correctly.

They want you,
it need it.

Heie galleries and sharp picture series.

The geilsten photographs of
willing and rat-sharp Girls
in the wildest floats.

You want the heiesten Teeniesex?

Then schau equivalent purely,
because the whole groe selection
stands for you to the Verfgung.