Posted by
Hemos
on from the conjecture-or-convinced dept.
vmircea writes "If you think clock speed is the most important measure of a processor, IBM's Bernie Meyerson wants you to reconsider. Meyerson, who heads research and development efforts for Big Blue's semiconductor group, says processor chip speed is old news. Go to ZDNet for the interview."
Yeah, but it's such a pain in the ass to find the right size CPU shim to hold a pot, and to top it off, you've got to find the right angle so the pot handle fits inside the case. Plus we all know how Intel cheated on the benchmarks by using Grade A jumbo eggs when measuring their competitor's products. Don't even get me started on the whole fine print thing with "hard-boiled" and "soft-boiled". Never trust a benchmark!
No, it's the speed holes that make it go faster. You know, those tiny little holes in the socket -- the more holes, the faster the processor.
And I'll let you in on a little secret -- those pins that go in the holes are actually there to slow the CPU down. No need to buy a new processor -- just clip off a couple of the pins on your current PC and it'll go much faster.
And I'll let you in on a little secret -- those pins that go in the holes are actually there to slow the CPU down. No need to buy a new processor -- just clip off a couple of the pins on your current PC and it'll go much faster.
I tried, but the magic smoke came out of the CPUand it doesn't work anymore (for those who knows, the magic smoke is what makes the chip work; if it escapes, the chip dies).
I agree with Bernie
by
L.+VeGas
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· Score: 5, Funny
Clock speed is good, but what I look for in a processor is that ephemeral processor attitude. Can I show it off to friends? Will my mother thinkk it's cute, or is it a little... dangerous? I want a processor that says something about me. That I'm a rebel that won't take no for an answer. That I'm cool without trying. If a processor can't do that for me, well I'm just not interested.
Re:I agree with Bernie
by
foidulus
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· Score: 4, Funny
Clock speed is good, but what I look for in a processor is that ephemeral processor attitude. Can I show it off to friends? Will my mother thinkk it's cute, or is it a little... dangerous? I want a processor that says something about me. That I'm a rebel that won't take no for an answer. That I'm cool without trying. If a processor can't do that for me, well I'm just not interested.
I have a suggestion, get a personlized tattoo on your ARM! *Rim shot
I apologize.
Re:I agree with Bernie
by
hey!
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· Score: 2, Funny
I have a suggestion, get a personlized tattoo on your ARM!
Hmmm. What Bernie is desdribing here sounds like an Adaptive Semiconductor System.
-- Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
My clock speed is 64k hz
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 3, Funny
if you think clock speed is the most important measure
I think it is very important for clock speed - the crystal in my watch runs at 64k hz to keep time which is quite important. Lets see you Solaris or AMD overclockers beat that!
Re:My clock speed is 64k hz
by
jrrl
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· Score: 2, Funny
I've overclocked my watch to 67.2 khz and it rocks! My workouts go much faster now (and better what with the water cooling rig acting as a wrist weight).
Although I never seem to get enough sleep and nobody ever shows up on time for my meetings... Hrm...
-jrrl.
Re:Wow, what a paradigm shift
by
Sir+dies+alot
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· Score: 3, Funny
Well, it is IBM. In the past, their ability to think 'ahead' was rather well portrayed when they decided that there was no home market for computing. But at least they are catching up right?
-- The stupidity of your average American is just about the same as the average European, we simply show it off better.
My Asynchronous Processor
by
Throtex
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· Score: 5, Funny
... doesn't even have a clock, you insensitive clod!
thanks for the link
by
mattkime
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· Score: 4, Funny
to IBM's website.
I hate it when articles are posted about small, obscure companies and then I can't find their website.
-- Know what I like about atheists? I've yet to meet one that believes God is on their side.
Re:Mirror , just in case
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Funny
Mirroring ibm.com should probably be modded Redundant:D
The most direct processor measurement
by
Profane+MuthaFucka
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· Score: 4, Funny
The old MHz measurement was nice for a time, but it just wasn't measuring what computer performance geeks find important. Just like car performance enthusiasts like to talk about the horsepower ratings of their engines, what is really important is a measurement of how the system really performs. That's why a quarter-mile timing can be more informative about a car's performance than just looking at the car's horsepower and torque rating.
So, the new processor measurement that gets right to the heart of what's important for a CPU performance geek is going to be henceforth the PU. The PU stands for 'penis unit' and it indicates to their fellow cpu performance geeks how big their dick is relative to everyone else's.
-- Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
The Article: Distilled
by
Dr.+Smeegee
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· Score: 2, Funny
Addressing a fundamental shift in the landscape of technology, a significant shift in the trajectory of basic technology. The rate of performance enhancement is becoming impacted as holistic design. You have to have a means by which you proactively and holistically address that extraordinary event. I am hoping that people really understand the sort of discontinuity we are talking about the capability for the chip to physically morph, one can easily envision the system autonomically issuing a command moving off to an entirely different plane.
The world is full of incredibly bright people.
Re:Poeple still want more ghz...
by
dasmegabyte
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· Score: 3, Funny
Then maybe you want to buy the new dasmegabyte XELEXONIUM 4500+ processor. It may look like a ram chip I pulled out of an old TI calculator, but trust me: with two Xs in the name and a plus after the 4500, it MUST be fast.
Also, those drinking straws glued to the top are longer pipelines.
Slashdot Mirror
Oh, look. A story on why clock speed doesn't matter. Perhaps this is a cover-up as to why the new G5s aren't as fast as Apple promised.
SHAME on you, IBM, for causing Steve Jobs' promises not to come true.
I'm not Seth Finkelstein. I still speak the truth.
personally i like to measure the speed on how many eggs i can cook on it per minute.
my celeron can probably only do 2 or 3, i'm sure the P4 can top that though.
I mean, everybody knows its the cold cathode lights, plexiglass windows, and stickers that make it go faster.
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
Clock speed is good, but what I look for in a processor is that ephemeral processor attitude. Can I show it off to friends? Will my mother thinkk it's cute, or is it a little ... dangerous? I want a processor that says something about me. That I'm a rebel that won't take no for an answer. That I'm cool without trying. If a processor can't do that for me, well I'm just not interested.
Best Windows Freeware
if you think clock speed is the most important measure
I think it is very important for clock speed - the crystal in my watch runs at 64k hz to keep time which is quite important. Lets see you Solaris or AMD overclockers beat that!
Well, it is IBM. In the past, their ability to think 'ahead' was rather well portrayed when they decided that there was no home market for computing. But at least they are catching up right?
The stupidity of your average American is just about the same as the average European, we simply show it off better.
... doesn't even have a clock, you insensitive clod!
to IBM's website.
I hate it when articles are posted about small, obscure companies and then I can't find their website.
Know what I like about atheists? I've yet to meet one that believes God is on their side.
Come on, everyone needs the power they have. You don't think being a spam zombie has no effect on the CPU do you?
...telling you that it's the GIRTH that counts!
Best Buy can have you arrested
Mirroring ibm.com should probably be modded Redundant :D
The old MHz measurement was nice for a time, but it just wasn't measuring what computer performance geeks find important. Just like car performance enthusiasts like to talk about the horsepower ratings of their engines, what is really important is a measurement of how the system really performs. That's why a quarter-mile timing can be more informative about a car's performance than just looking at the car's horsepower and torque rating.
So, the new processor measurement that gets right to the heart of what's important for a CPU performance geek is going to be henceforth the PU. The PU stands for 'penis unit' and it indicates to their fellow cpu performance geeks how big their dick is relative to everyone else's.
Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
Addressing a fundamental shift in the landscape of technology, a significant shift in the trajectory of basic technology. The rate of performance enhancement is becoming impacted as holistic design. You have to have a means by which you proactively and holistically address that extraordinary event. I am hoping that people really understand the sort of discontinuity we are talking about the capability for the chip to physically morph, one can easily envision the system autonomically issuing a command moving off to an entirely different plane.
The world is full of incredibly bright people.
Then maybe you want to buy the new dasmegabyte XELEXONIUM 4500+ processor. It may look like a ram chip I pulled out of an old TI calculator, but trust me: with two Xs in the name and a plus after the 4500, it MUST be fast.
Also, those drinking straws glued to the top are longer pipelines.
Hey freaks: now you're ju
I love AMD man, but honda? I think you need to find a SLIGHTLY better car to compare it to ;)
How about Mazda?
(yea, ok, fine, I'm one of those people that wont touch a honda - except a prelude SH or an S2000 - with a 10ft pole)
Why not just run setiathome on it and see how long it takes to finish a workload? That's the computation that really matters :)