Microsoft's Magical 'Myth-Busting' Tour

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Microsoft's Magical 'Myth-Busting' Tour

Posted by michael on Friday June 11, 2004 @09:05AM from the drive-offensively dept.

Mz6 writes "Microsoft has launched its 'Get the Facts' road show -- the tech equivalent of a political battle bus -- to tour the country and convince the wavering that Redmond is as at least cheap and as secure as its open-source rival and to spread the word that Windows is better than Linux. Nick McGrath, Microsoft's head of platform strategy, described the campaign as 'a reality check we're bringing out', aiming to tackle the 'myths' surrounding Linux. Microsoft's road show will be in Edinburgh on June 17, Manchester on June 29 and Newport on July 7."

28 of 649 comments (clear)

Oblig by Anonymous Coward · 2004-06-11 09:07 · Score: 5, Funny

"La-La-La-La-Myth-Busting-Tour!
1. Re:Oblig by kfg · 2004-06-11 09:19 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  And here's another clue for ACs,
  The walrus is Steve.
  
  KFG
2. Re:Oblig by NoData · 2004-06-11 09:27 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Scroll up, scroll up, write this way!
  
  Scroll up
  Scroll up for myth-busting tour.
  Scroll up
  Scroll up for the myth busting tour.
  Scroll up (AND THAT'S AN INTIMATION)
  Scroll up for myth-busting tour.
  Scroll up (HEED OUR INTIMIDATION)
  Scroll up for the myth busting tour.
  The magical myth busting tour is waiting to take your pay
  Waiting to take your pay
  
  Scroll up
  Scroll up for myth-busting tour.
  Scroll up
  Scroll up for the myth busting tour.
  Scroll up (WE'VE GOT LOTS OF FUD TO BREED)
  Scroll up for myth-busting tour.
  Scroll up (COME AND BASK IN OUR GREED)
  Scroll up for the myth busting tour.
  The magical myth busting tour is waiting to take your pay
  Hoping to take your pay
  
  Scroll up
  Scroll up for myth-busting tour.
  Scroll up
  Scroll up for the myth busting tour.
  Scroll up (AND THAT'S AN INTIMATION)
  Scroll up for myth-busting tour.
  Scroll up (HEED OUR INTIMIDATION)
  Scroll up for the myth busting tour.
  The magical myth busting tour is waiting to take your pay
  On your servers we'd like to stay
  The magical myth busting tour is dying to make *nix go away
  Dying to make it go away, keep you at bay
3. Re:Oblig by NoData · 2004-06-11 10:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Feelin' inspired. Here's another one off the Magical Myth-Busting Tour album.
  
  (CHORUS)
  Let me shake you down, cuz we're going to
  Strong arm the deals.
  Statistics not real.
  Leave nothing in your bankaccount
  Strong arm our deals forever.
  
  Lying is easy with code closed.
  Misrepresenting all we steal.
  It's getting hard to sue someone, but it all works out
  SCO does our dirty work for cheap
  
  (CHORUS)
  
  No BSD is in our code-tree
  I mean not that you'd ever know
  That is you can't, you know, see the API but it's all right
  And if it's not, well that's too bad.
  
  (CHORUS)
  
  Platform lock-in makes you feel queasy
  But you know we know you'll join our team
  You think "dot-NET" will be "dot-NO" cuz it's all wrong
  But that's how we play monopoly
  
  (CHORUS)
Hmm ... by cryms0n · 2004-06-11 09:07 · Score: 5, Funny

Nick,

This word 'reality', I do not think it means what you think it means.
1. Re:Hmm ... by Rei · 2004-06-11 09:50 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  > It's a product rollout: MS Reality.
  
  Oh great. A life size talking paper clip following me around; whenever I try to load the dishwasher, it asks me "Are you sure you didn't mean to put the dishes in the compost bin?" and offers to do it for me in the future. Just what I need. :)
  
  --
  Carbon, made, only wants to be unmade.
Political Emulation Too Much? by Penguinisto · 2004-06-11 09:09 · Score: 5, Funny

Geez - what's next in the political emulation attempts... negative attack ads against Linux?
Oh, wait...

--
Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
1. Re:Political Emulation Too Much? by Random+BedHead+Ed · 2004-06-11 09:57 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Yes, and I've got some word of it in advance:
  
  (sinister music) The Linux operating system has a dark secret - one its supporters don't want you to hear. It can be used by terrorists, and can be installed to operate machines that kill puppies. We don't know about you, but that doesn't sound so free and wonderful to us. What other secrets might Linux be hiding?
  
  (happy, relaxing music) But Microsoft Windows won't stand for this. Its proven inefficiency helps thwart terrorist activities of every kind. By the time a terrorist installs Windows XP Home Edition on their computer, adds Service Pack 1, installs all of the many patches from Windows Update, implements an antivirus solution, removes the infection of the Welchia worm that was installed prior to downloading the RPC patches, as well as the Sasser worm that was installed prior to downloading the LSASS patches, the forces of good can save those puppies. And if the terrorist tries to share files with his fellow evildoers, no more than six of them will be able to access his machine at a time. Now that's security America can count on. "I'm Bill Gates, and I approve this message."
Cool! by mekkab · 2004-06-11 09:09 · Score: 4, Funny

I'll burn off some Knoppix cd's and Crash the party!

(will they have booth babes?)

--
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
1. Re:Cool! by maxbang · 2004-06-11 09:12 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Eh, something tells me there'll be plenty of crashing even without your intervention...
  
  --
  I also reply below your current threshold.
And in related news... by Izago909 · 2004-06-11 09:09 · Score: 5, Funny

RJR and Phillip Morris unveiled their plans for a traveling road show to promote cigarettes as an effective weight loss solution as well as a stimulant and antidepressant.
Let's work together people by interociter · 2004-06-11 09:09 · Score: 4, Funny

If we all work together as a team, we can insure that there isn't a single moment on the tour where there isn't a "Powered by Linux" sticker visible on the tour bus.

--
Interociter
-=What do I want? I'm an American. I want more.
Damn, it's in Britain. by MsGeek · 2004-06-11 09:10 · Score: 4, Funny

I was hoping this was going on in the US...it would be fun to attend. If only to jeer and heckle.

Hopefully some British LUGs will be on the case.

--
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power multiplied.
Same by andrej73 · 2004-06-11 09:10 · Score: 5, Funny

>Redmond is as at least cheap and as secure as its open-source rival

Yes, and I am as at least rich as Bill Gates.

--
Andrej
Sure it's better! by sarah_kerrigan · 2004-06-11 09:11 · Score: 5, Funny

Hello,

Windows is the best OS, you know. If you use it, you find it makes your mind processes improve all the time, it teaches you how to temple your nerves when something goes wrong (very often, I mean)... and it's much more beautiful (there's something magical in that funny blue screen, don't you think so?)

Muaaaaaaaaaks
--

--
You'd stumble in my footsteps (Depeche Mode, "Walking in my shoes")
Microsoft bus tour update by k4_pacific · 2004-06-11 09:13 · Score: 5, Funny

This just in...

Apparently Microsoft's tour bus crashed because of a faulty driver.

--
Unknown host pong.
1. Re:Microsoft bus tour update by endx7 · 2004-06-11 09:54 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  In response, Microsoft claimed it was a third party driver, and denied all responsibility.
Re:windows cheap ? by nizo · 2004-06-11 09:13 · Score: 5, Funny

Cheap as in "look at all the free software that gets downloaded to your computer" cheap. Or maybe cheap as in the type of shots that will be flying around here soon :-)

--
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
An insult to cigarettes by PsiPsiStar · 2004-06-11 09:16 · Score: 4, Funny

Say what you want about cigarettes, I never wanted to strangle Joe Camel. Clippy on the other hand...

--

___
It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.
short yellow bus by elviscious · 2004-06-11 09:20 · Score: 5, Funny

I bet that their battle bus is really just one of those short yellow buses.
Re:Gotta love... by WhiteWolf666 · 2004-06-11 09:24 · Score: 4, Funny

Don't worry....

You suck too

--
WhiteWolf666 an exBush supporter. All you new-school,compassionate,save the children Republicans can rot in hell
Re:Bit of info by Niles_Stonne · 2004-06-11 09:33 · Score: 4, Funny

I'm looking forward to when they drive to the US.

--
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but copyright will always protect me.
Re:Bit of info by zulux · 2004-06-11 09:42 · Score: 5, Funny

for the internationally-impaired, the tour is in the UK.

Where is this UK you speak of?

We American have never fought a war with UK so that why I don't know where it's at.

What? Me fail history and geography? That's umpossible!

--
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
Re:Truth always overcomes by Lochin+Rabbar · 2004-06-11 09:58 · Score: 4, Funny

If there's one thing that Reagan has taught us, is that truth always beats falsehoods.
I don't remember that.
Re:Bit of info by Embedded+Geek · 2004-06-11 10:16 · Score: 4, Funny

We American have never fought a war with UK...
Not yet.
But, uh, you wouldn't know if they might have, well, oil there, would you?

--
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
50 billion in the bank by HangingChad · 2004-06-11 10:29 · Score: 4, Funny

And the best idea they can come up with is a bus? So who is going to come to the bus and walk away thinking, "Gosh, maybe Windows is really cheaper."
I'd say the odds were pretty much zero.
The only thing that could save MSFT now is a fully operational death star.

--
That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage
Re:Linux is being sold now. by awkScooby · 2004-06-11 11:07 · Score: 5, Funny

Linux does have that now. Do you think IBM, Novell/Suse, and Redhat are just sitting around?
I guess you're not familiar with Novell's marketing department...
Additional ideas for future MS campaigns by mabu · 2004-06-11 11:48 · Score: 4, Funny

Just in case this latest tour doesn't work, I'd like to offer some suggestions for Microsoft's marketing department for future promotions:

* Produce a study that reveals "Linux users have smaller penises"

* Include free Windows 2000 server license in new McDonald's Happy Meals.

* Purchase one of the Internet backbone providers and start refusing to process packets from non-Microsoft networks.

* Offer Microsoft-Certified-Linux-Professional-Systems-Eng ineer certification, which is in effect, a room where they strap people to chairs a la "A Clockwork Orange" and show them a never ending stream of Steve Balmer video speeches.

* Release "Windows For Linux" desktop which at first appears to be a window manager, but actually removes Linux and installs Server 2000.

* Start rumor that Linus Torvalds is a member of Al Quaeda.

* Get patent on common sense and free thinking and charge all Linux users with IP infringement.

* Update scripts of upcoming Star Wars and Harry Potter movies to show that Darth Vader and Valdemort are "powered by Linux."