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Halo, Doom Sequels Rated - By Psychic

Posted by simoniker on from the more-accurate-than-many dept.

Friedenfelds writes "Xbox Nation magazine asked a psychic to predict reviews of Doom 3, Halo 2, and a bunch of other big Xbox games - the results are pretty funny." Among the games rated by "a bona fide soothsayer" are Halo 2 ("I see a lot of partnerships in the cards... there's a third in the works, but no one knows this yet. You'll enjoy it, but it's not great for any relationships you're in") and Doom 3 ("The review of the game, by the people... it's not going to play out as well as people expected. Maybe there was too much expectation.")

10 of 43 comments (clear)

  1. Who cares about Halo 2 and Doom 3? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They got their hands on a real live psychic and didn't ask about the release date for Duke Nukem Forever?

    1. Re:Who cares about Halo 2 and Doom 3? by loyalsonofrutgers · · Score: 5, Funny

      The person was a psychic, not god. Psychics don't perform miracles.

  2. The Question They should have asked is... by tayjo · · Score: 1, Funny

    When the hell is Duke Nukem Forever coming out?

    --
    With your neck on my shoulders we could wreck civilization!
  3. Top notch. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Probably the most accurate game review I've read this year!

  4. Pfff! by Golantig · · Score: 5, Funny

    On Doom 3:

    "I think maybe the sales will be disappointing."

    Yeah, no-one is going to buy it; they'll just give it to their mates on 4 floppy disks.

    1. Re:Pfff! by johansor · · Score: 2, Funny

      FOUR floppies!!? Do you even know how expensive floppies are? Of course I could download it of my friends BBS but with my new 14.4baud modem it'll still take a day or two. Some dude talked to me about something weird called Compact Discs yesterday. But they just seem silly, like they'll ever be able to fit 650 MEGABYTES on to those. Personally I'm having greater faith in laserdiscs, yeah those are cool, big and shiny and easy to find how can you go wrong with that? ok, I'm off to watching some Miami Vice episodes i taped on my Betamax...

  5. My Life Story by naden · · Score: 5, Funny

    You'll enjoy it, but it's not great for any relationships you're in

    Funny .. I remember how I met my gf like it was only yesterday.

    The atmosphere, the excitement, the nervousness. The way she was holding that BFG.

    --
    Funtage Factor: Purple
  6. I feel.... by Dr.+GeneMachine · · Score: 2, Funny

    I feel.... being drawn into the future... far... very far...
    wait a moment... i'm getting something, a huge event...
    that could be it....
    naah, sorry... just the violent end of the human race, the machines are taking over...
    BUT WAIT!! they continue the developement...
    I'm drawn farther down the timeline... it's very distant now, very weak...
    there! another disturbance!... no, sorry, just the sun going nova...
    still farther into the future... again there is something...
    wait...
    it's faint, very faint...
    ahh, no, that appeared to be the heat death of the universe...
    and still no Duke Nukem Forever
    Sorry, I have to disapoint you, transdimensional sooth-saying is not my metier. You'll have to ask someone else. That's 150 bucks, please.

    --
    This comment does not exist.
  7. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by Crayon+Kid · · Score: 3, Funny

    Doom 3 is on of the most highly expected games ever, mostly due to the massive popularity of the previous Doom games, [...] I am very much looking forward to finally being able to play Doom 3. I am certain that it will evoke pretty much the same feelings as the original games did. And I won't be surprised if I shed a tear or two due to nostalgia ;)

    They'd better hurry already. Otherwise there won't be any people left who played Doom and Doom II. Well, OK, I exagerate, they won't be dead, it's just that you kinda grow out of computer games by the time you're 50.

    --
    i ate crayons when i was a kid and now i have two braincells and the blue ones taste nicer
  8. So this is it, huh? by Xentor · · Score: 2, Funny

    We have E3 demonstrations, press releases, PR people, and interviews with developers... And their amazing new source is... a self-proclaimed "psychic."

    I have only one question.

    WHY!?!?!?

    Hold on, let me check a deck of tarot cards... Let's see... Cups... Swords... no, no "Queen of Gameplay"... No "King of Multiplayer"... And definitely no card called, aptly, "Release Date."

    I'm trying to think of a logical, or at least semi-rational explanation for having a "psychic" do computer game reviews... I'm trying, really I am. Maybe... no... But what if-- No...

    I give up... Time to call Miss Cleo and ask about Half-Life 2.

    --
    "The amount of intelligence on this planet is a constant. The population is growing." -Cole's Axiom