Appropriate Music for Callers 'On Hold'?

RiBread asks: "I work at a startup, and as such wear many hats. Right now I'm trying to make sure our phone system is useful. One of everyone's biggest complaints is the cheesy music that plays when someone calls in and is put on hold. The stunning MIDI rendition of 'Home on the Range' they hear vies only with the ice cream truck and 'It's a Small World' for its ability to infuriate. I found out we can hook up a CD player to the phone system to alleviate this, but the real question is now: what do we want to play? What's the best 'on hold' music you've heard? (comments with links to samples of music will be most appreciated)"

Comments

Startup?

[Anonymous Coward]

Let me get this straight, you work at a startup and this is what your worried about?

Britney Spears

[Anonymous Coward]

Once you put them on hold, they'll never make the mistake of calling again.

Re:Britney Spears

[djcapelis]

> Once you put them on hold, they'll never make the mistake of calling again.

Oops! I did it again!

I mean... yeah... you can shoot me now.

I'd try

[bob_dinosaur]

Rage Against the Machine - Bullet in the Head.

It perfectly describes my attitude to being on hold.

Play some Rammstein

[dedazo]

I kid you not, by the time your reps pick up the phone your callers will be spurting blood from their nipples as they spasm incontrollably and chant demonic verses along the lines of "Du Hast Mich" in hair-raising, spine splitting gothic German.

Then again if this is not a tech support line, please disregard. Might want to think about doing the Engelbert Humperdinck thang.

Dogs Barking

[Lenolium]

There were some particularly weird "things" on XMission (a local and awesome ISP)'s hold music
When I worked there, there were two songs that were the techs favorites. One of them was something like six minutes of dogs barking. The users really hated it, it really rubbed all of them the wrong way. Rubbed them the wrong way so much that you could always tell when it had just finished playing and someone had to sit through all of it. Even though there were thousands of songs in the playlist (mostly trance), this one got a lot of attention and was removed.
The song that people liked to hear the most was "C is for cookie" by the cookie monster. Wouldn't matter if they had just been sitting on hold for three days and the DSL line had surged out of control and killed both of their parents, anyone after listening to that was in a pretty happy mood by the time they got to you. I think that one is still on there.
My personal favorite Hold Music was what I put on when I worked at a little company in San Jose. 100% Christmas music, the Secretary said it shouldn't be done, it was October and all. But I said "But if we don't do it now, we won't catch them by suprise." It's really quite amazing how few people know how to change the hold music, even though it was powered by a normal cd player with a little wire running to the PBX

Re:Why put on hold at all?

[grasscutter]

actually i did this with ticketmaster the last time i was on hold for never getting my concert tickets in the mail.

just remember not to take a shower when you're waiting for them to call...

Perfect for being on hold

[CGP314]

This is the song that never ends...

Tale of insubordination, re: hold music

[JeffHunt]

I worked a summer job a at small-time ISP when I was 16. I hated working there and the boss always treated me like scum, so when he wasn't around I'd change the CD for the PBX to Dead Kennedys "In God We Trust, Inc." or Crass' "Christ - The Album".

Oh ho ho. Somehow the old boar didn't find out. I loved it.

Get Your Corporate Act Together!

[rixstep]

Some suggestions for lame companies ruining their reps with piss-poor lift music:

1. God Save The Queen, Sex Pistols
   
2. Love To Love You Baby, Donna Summer (maybe not)
   
3. Get Off My Cloud, Rolling Stones
   
4. Too Drunk To Fuck, Dead Kennedys
   
5. Ayatollah Khomeini, Eddie Meduza
   
6. Too Much Sunshine, Midnight Oil
   

And for the companies intent on fast Chapter 11:

1. Copacabana, Barry Manilow
   
2. Kenny G
   
3. I Want To Feel Your Body, Samantha Fox
   

Who says corporate suits have to be uncool?

(Shuddup!)

And remember: Martha was ready to change brokers over bad lift music - it's a good thing!

Re:If you can use a CD Player...

[Atzanteol]

Believe it or not, an iPod isn't the answer to every damn thing that involves music.

Exactly! This is the *perfect* situation for Gentoo... Hey... What are you guys doing in there? Hey, get out!

....

Re:Variety

[thedillybar]

I hope you're better at playing the piano than driving a Jeep...

Re:Classical music is good

[Anonymous Coward]

WRONG.

Please, a little professionalism.

What I like to hear while I'm on hold is "Your call is very important to us". Be sure to mention that my call "will be answered in the order received" (I especially like that.) Repeat every 15 seconds for 30 minutes.

My Ideas

[_aa_]

1. Police/Fire Scanner
2. Books on Tape
3. White Noise
4. Foreign Language Lessons
5. NPR
6. Raymond Scott - Soothing Sounds for Baby
7. Place Microphone in Center of Office
8. Train Sounds
9. Bubble Wrap
10. Car Dealership Commercials
11. Make a "People On Hold" Party Line
12. Heavy Breathing
13. These
14. Fax Machine Sounds
15. "Guess The DTMF" Game
16. Funny Answering Machine Outgoing Messages
17. Phone Sex
18. Bass Test CDs
19. Trivia Questions
20. The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Re:Classical music is good

[HungWeiLo]

Ah...how about we move all the call centers to India to save the licensing fees for hold music...that must be a good idea. Somebody surely must have thought of it by now...