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Washington Mutual Patents the Bank Branch
ewhac writes "Okay, so it's not a bank branch per se, but a particular kind of bank branch -- one that has play areas for kids, serves coffee and popcorn, and has kiosks instead of teller windows. Washington Mutual has dubbed this branch design, "Occasio" (a generic Latin word meaning, "favorable opportunity," and which has probably been trademarked). The San Francisco Chronicle reports that it may be the first time the USPTO has awarded a patent for the design of a retail store/presence."
I can understand patenting logos, designs, even shoe tread patterns.........but furniture layout?
Ok, I'm going to file for my own patent. I'll call it "Geek Apartment" and it will consist of empty soda cans, dirty laundry, an unmade bed, and between 6 and 14 computers in various states of assembly (all running however).
There's your fair warning, soon you'll all be paying me royalties, or cleaning your apartments.
"Lame" - Galaxar
What's next?
Patenting farting in the tub for those who can't afford a real hot tub?
A 20 year monopoly on the arrangment of 'stuff' is ok with you?
By the way, I hope you are not infringing my patent on "poor taste furniture" covering such things such as the use of duct tape to cover broken springs.
Also, if you hang up your towels next to your shower, I'm going to sue.
Do not spread "09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0" over the internet, thank you.
I'm actually okay with this one. At least this is a patent on something physical, something that can be built.
Dear Sir,
I note that the way you have laid out your work area including a play area for your child is my idea, as is the coffepot in the corner.
This is my intellectual property. If you do not remove the playpen and coffee pot you will be hearing from my laywers.
Good day.
KFG
When do we get to hear about a patent awarded for " a method of refreshing spent oxygen in the blood stream of mammals".
---- Booth was a patriot ----
I'm filing a patent for my revolutionary "TV in the Bedroom" concept!
I'm happy with the Washington Mutual branch here. I've never once seen "one fucking teller serving a queue of twenty people." there. There are usually two or three tellers serving a line of maybe 3 people max. The service there is actually very good. It's a very different atmosphere from most banks, which I like. And the Gameboy Advance and toys they have aren't just for kids, either, but the little chairs suck (ouch, my back).
As far as patenting it goes, I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I must admit the concept is very new and novel for banks. It's not just the arrangement of furniture, it's the whole deal.
There are greeters, tellers dressed in colorful shirts who escort customers to the kiosks, a separate cash machine, plush olive and maroon- colored chairs and sofas, and funky blueberry-colored lights hanging from the ceiling.
NSF fees have increased to $500 coming and going, and customers will be required to provide five forms of picture ID to make a deposit. Interest on our SUPER-SOCCER-SUV-VALUE-PLUS-CD accounts is now a whopping ONE PERCENT (subject to Federal, State, Local and street-by-street taxes), and you get a free book of generic-bear-on-pastel checks!
Free checking is now only $20 a week, but you get two free deposits!*
*average balance of $15,000 required
Don't forget to ask about our interest-only mortgage where we own your house until your payments quadruple! Don't forget to finance a RIDING LAWN MOWER, DUMBASS!!! MAYBE IT CAN TOW A CAMPER!!!!
"Some people walk in, and they walk out. That's why we have a concierge there."
NO!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!
Sounds like a great idea. Confuse the customers, then PATENT IT.
The strategy behind the Occasio decor is not only to make banking fun, but also to make it more efficient.
Yeah? How about hiring more than three tellers so we don't have to order out for lunch AND dinner waiting to cash a check?
Business isn't willing to pay for products, innovation and careers, so we get brands, mortgage commercials and layoffs.
FUCK! We have a bunch of idiots working at USPTO.
Getting a patent for the idea of serving popcorn?
Are the movie theatres going to have to make payments to these people?
C'mon...a patent is supposed to be for inventing something serious and useful. This is not patent material by any stretch.
But since we're in the mood, let me be the first girl to patent the blow job. Yes, I invented it and it is now my intellectual property! So pay up. Credit card payments are billed to:
Christian Missionary Support Services, Inc.
This is no more absurd than putting a play pen in the corner of the store. Now, putting a play pen for senior executives who came up with this idea (or the Patent Office bozos who approved it), that would be a patentable idea.
Having the money behind a pheumatic tube does not hurt the throughput any, and is a HUGE cost savings on insurance because there is NO MONEY a wood-be robber can grab. It's all in a locked room. Unless they have trained attack ferrets to go through the tubes... a guy with a gun is only going to get what's in the people's wallets.
AH! Finally, a use for my trained attack ferrets! Skilled in the most aggressive of martial arts, Weasel Te, and wearing clingey black body suits that my Aunt Bea knits for them, they will be able to penetrate the puny defenses of you bank and steal all the money! Today, The First National Bank of MooseBreath, Montana, tomorrow, THE WORLD!!!! bwuhahaHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
OW! The little sh*t bit me....
*** *** You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me... ***