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Las Vegas Monorail Finally Ready To Open
doormat writes "The Las Vegas monorail is finally set to open to the public on July 15th! The project has had some problems - it was originally scheduled to open in March. The first part of the monorail, which uses Bombardier M-VI train vehicles, 'a derivative of the famous Walt Disney World Mark VI trains', is 4 miles long and connects several casinos on the east side of the Las Vegas Strip (see map, QT video), as well as the Las Vegas Convention Center (Home to CES, NAB, Networld+Interop and what was Comdex). Future phases seek to expand the monorail to downtown to the North, the west side of the strip, and eventually the University and the airport (which the taxicab and limo groups fight tooth and nail). I swear it's the strip's only choice... throw up your hands and raise your voice! Monorail, Monorail, Monorail! Mono... D'oh!"
Until some guys gets run over by the Monorail in CSI I'm not even going to acknowledge it.
There's a university in Las Vegas? And I thought UPenn was a party school...
that this monorail will take you directly from the center of a casino, to the center of many other casinos, via routes that pass through casinos.
In order to get to any of the stations, you'll need to walk through 3 miles of casinos. In order to buy tickets, you'll need to walk through 4 miles of casinos. If you're drunk and gambling, tickets are free.
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Since this was on last night, here of course is the song!
... What'd I say?
Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth Like a genuine, Bona fide, Electrified, Six-car Monorail!
Ned Flanders: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
Patty+Selma: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!
[crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]
Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...
Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs.
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: [singing] Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: [singing] Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! [big finish] Monorail!
Homer: Mono... D'oh!
Send lawyers, guns, and money!
... it terminates at the Las Vegas Hilton, better known to Slashdotters as the home of the Star Trek Experience. Don't forget to visit Quark's Bar, where you can order - shudder - "The Wrap Of Khan."
If you mod me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.