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Mapping The Tour de France Riders From Space
Roland Piquepaille writes "It was just a matter of time before someone gets the idea of using satellite localization to map the positions of the cyclists of the Tour de France. In a first test on July 21 during the ascension to l'Alpe d'Huez, ten riders were equipped with receivers and tracked by the EGNOS European satellite positioning system, a preparatory programme for the Galileo system. The European Space Agency (ESA) reports about this first test in "The best view of the Tour is from space." It's highly possible that all riders can get receivers as soon as next year. And this data will be available on the Web, so you will know in real time the exact location of your favorite champion. Read this summary for more details and a computer-generated image showing the respective positions of Lance Armstrong and Richard Virenque, the top-ranked climber, while climbing to the top of l'Alpe d'Huez."
This is a TERRORIST ATTACK waiting to happen! They will be sorry when the SCUD MISSILES are taking out riders with CENTIMETER PRESICION!
I am a medical doctor and confirm that this is in fact TRUE, however, I have to keep my identity secret ala DEEP THROAT. We do indeed lace cancer drugs with undetectable performance enhancing drugs. contact me at frenchsnob@hatesamericans.com to set up a meeting.
Man, if Lance beat riders from space, I have even more respect for him. Those guys have, like, photon torpedos and shit on their bikes!
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
Mechanic: "Alright Lance, lets go through the checklist before you start the time trial."
Mechanic: "Two pound carbon fiber frame?"
Lance: "Check."
M: "180 gram tires?"
L: "Check."
M: "150 gram Titanium cogset?"
L: "Check."
M: "5 pound GPS transmitter on your helmet?"
L: "Uuuugh! Cccheeeck!" (Falls over.)
It is very likely that he's the victim of eating something which contained some Methadon without his knowledge.
I'm sorry, I should have posted this the first time. Do you know that methadone is
1. a tightly controlled substance, and
2. a thick dark green syrup.
? That said how many people do you think go around having "methadone sandwiches"?? Jesus.
If Armstrong comes back for another try next year, he'd have to worry about giving some of the spectators his exact coordinates. Today: spit, tomorrow: precision guided munitions.
Until I saw this story, I didn't even know that there _were_ Tour de France Riders from Space. In any case, I think it's a good thing they're being mapped.