Slashdot Mirror
NIST Studies Virus, DDoS Effect On Grids
Ben writes "Scientists at the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) have launched a new campaign to study the effect of viruses and denial of services attacks on grid computing systems. Specifically, they're developing models to establish vulnerability and find ways of fixing problems. But a grid's very strength -- its distibuted nature -- makes it vulnerable, indeed, they're finding. (Via Science Blog)"
GNAA Announces Project to Port Slashcode to ASP.NET
GNAA Announces Project to Port Slashcode to ASP.NET
Fremont, California - In a surprise announcement, GNAA has announced a truce and alliance with the popular news for trolls website Slashdot.
GNAA member godspeed broke the news at an early-evening press conference, announcing that GNAA would cease trolling the website, and will instead work with the current Slashdot staff on porting the Slashcode to ASP.NET, to be run under IIS.
"We've had our difference with Slashdot in the past," godspeed began, "but with recent slowdowns in performance on the website, they have finally realized that Opensource is indeed dead, and it's time to move on and replace their antiquated codebase with something that will meet the modern day's needs. We're pleased to be given the opportunity to work with the Slashdot staff on making this port. Of course, the new code will not be opensourced, an NDA will be signed in blood by all who see it and if you release it, the penalty... well, you've seen what happened to Nick Berg, Paul Johnson, and the others. Major changes to be implemented include the removal of goatse link evasion, major overhauls to the karma system, and the replacement of pinkpages with LastMeasure,"
At this point godspeed turned the podium over to fellow GNAA member goat-see and stormed out of the room. goat-see offered to take any questions the audiencemembers have. When asked why there were no Slashdot representatives at the conference, he was quick to reply "You can speak to CowboyNeal outside after we're through here, we couldn't get that motherfucker in here without widening the doorframes. Next question?," eliciting a hearty chuckle from the audience. When asked the reason for the sudden change in relations with Slashdot, goat-see paused to think for a moment, before answering "Our historical differences were meant to hilight the flaws in the Slashdot system. As soon as the staff realized what an impacted shitpile their site was and the need to update it, we were the first to volunteer to assist in the migration. We look forward to seeing the hight performace of ASP.NET pages with a MS SQL backend as much as any other nigger out there."
bare, a GNAA member sitting in the audience, stood up and confirmed this announcement with a hearty "LOL." goat-see concluded the conference at that point, saying "If you have any further questions, please direct them to new GNAA member Wil Wheaton, now let's all go outside and poke that fat fuck CowboyNeal with sticks."
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY?
Are you a NIGGER?
Are you a GAY NIGGER?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
First, you have to obtain a copy of GAYNIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE and watch it. You can download the movie (~130mb) using BitTorrent.
Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAA First Post on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website.
Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful First Post, and you will be tested on your knowledge of GAYNIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE.
If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER
Holy christ. Your country is fighting a fake war started by a fake president and you are whining about sentence structure?? Get a fucking life man! I hope you never read a posting by a non-english speaking slashdotter. Your fuckin head just may explode!