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Did Your Code Ever Make Anyone Deaf?
theodp writes "Siemens AG anticipates additional costs from a software problem with new mobile phones that has led retailers to suspend sales. Five models of its new 65 series can emit a piercing melody into users' ears if the battery fails during a call, causing hearing damage in extreme cases, according to a statement."
Ever since the beginning of my puberty I had a thing for female cake
:"I've always been into :)". Pamela'sanswer was an 11 seconds long rip that blew the
farting. The superb vision for me is to watch Pamela Anderson and Jenna
Jameson at a lounge with a birthday cake on the floor.
Jenna and Pamela hike down their pants, turn their bare butts at the cake
from approximately 2 inches each one from different side , then
simultaneously "beat the drum" on the cake, trying to blow the candles, as
if attempting to compete each against the other when it comes to smell,
rancidity, loudness and how long the fart lasts. And they release their
intestinal methane gas until the room is increasingly rendered unbearable to
stay in.
Jenna's rancid fart catches fire,as she grins saying
burning farts
candles. Then the cake was evacuated, but not be4 frustrated Jenna Jameson
stooled a 1 feet turd on it
Not deaf, or blind, but running Debian could make one dumb.
Alanis bowing down with her naked ass to a cake
Blowing a silent but deadly wind
smells like hell, rotten eggs and shit absorbs on the cream cake
1,000,000,000 e-coli germs now inhabit the stinky cake
Alanis Morissette grunts and farts a putrid 6 sec. long one
Candles quench, instead of lighting
Alanis, disappointed of not being able to light her fart shits on the cake
I was a referee, one out of 3, in a body fluid contest.
Well, this very competition took place in Chicago, July
9th, 1998, where the dominant principle which prevailed was
pretty simple: "The grosser - The better". Well, there were 5 cakes
lying on the floor with a petite cherry on top.
Five different women were to spill their assorted
excretions on only one of the cakes each. (Men need not
apply). The rule was - no more than one body fluid kind of
waste to each participant. Everyone of them had to enroll
in advance, notifying what kind of activity is her domain.
The first one was Donna. She was about 28 years old blond
chick from Kentucky. She walked slightly, exposed her
peachy pussy and solid ass to the camera, then bent down to
the cake, to sprinkle and gush out her golden stream,
consists of urea and water. After 20 sec, more or less, she
got up and walked away, to the enthusiastic cheers,
applauds and clapping of the crowd, leaving a golden liquid
layer to settle down on the cake and seap.
The other contender was Mary-Joe, a 50 years old house
wife from Pennsylvania. She squatted on the cake, and
packed it with her brown foul smelling fresh shit. It kept
coming out of her ass for a while, leaving 3 giant turds to
decorate the cake. Unfortunately, she was disqualified due
to a violation of the rules - she got rid of a bugging fart
during the process. Her husband, Larry, who attended the
arena, couldn't hide his apparent disappointment.
Samantha was the one registered to the farting part. She
was only 18 (no minors allowed). Her blue eyes and angelic
face shined, while she approached the middle cake, bringing
her anus to a roughly 2 inches gap from it, straining, and
shooting a loud fart, which even managed to blow away the
cherry off the cake. 2-3 more, and the cake was really
"full of shit" as the phrase goes. Not to mention some 15 million E-
coli germs to colonize the now foul smelling
cake. People in the crowd could swear the smell reached to
high heaven.
Sheri was next, a 32 years old homely married woman from
Oklahoma. She was tall and had a round face and bright
complexion. She had signed up to the vomiting play. So
after having 5 eggs at home, plus a bottle of castor oil
and 3 ham steaks, she threw up her belly products on the
poor cake. It came with waves and smell was even worse than
the one of the shit. I bet that after roughly 5 hours, the
strong chlorin acid melted down all residue of the cake (It
was disposed after the contest, though. maybe I should've
asked the landfill worker).
The last one was Brandy, a 35 years old lawyer from
Michigan. She rubbed herself for a while, and when she was
completely nude, she pulled a string, and pulled out an
entirely blood soaked just-used tampon. She squeezed it all
over the cake, sprinkling her fresh blood and some dead
placenta cells. Then she raised on her feet and went out,
with an arrogant grin spread on her face.
The bells rang. Andy, Shawn and I had to call for the
winner. We had a tough pains-taking between Sheri and
Brandy. After half an hour we declared Brandy as the
winner, granting her the "Golden cake" trophy, along with a symbolic
Tampax package, and a 100$ note. The second body
fluid happening is scheduled to take place later this year.
We'll keep you updated...
Hi, my name is Karl and I'm about to disclose to you a very messy
matter between my girlfriend and I, which I would readily like to
share with you. Her name is Kristine, originally from Mesa, AZ. As
chief chef at D's in NYC she's directly subordinated to me. Well,
for couple of years she's been having a bizarre habit/hobby, - farting
on cream cakes... That's her prank-like way to treat rude uncivilized
customers. She carries it out behind the stoves at my presence. Now,
we're talking about a famous restaurant in the city, where many celebs,
including mayor Giuliani pay a visit. It's amazing to see her taking
off her pants, exposing her bare butt before me, then bending over,
squatting with it to the cake, and vigorously breaking winds all over
it. It's so sexy! Once I decided to get down to it and asked her as
to the meaning of this bizarre fetish, so she told me that it has
turned her on since she was little girl. So one day while I was visiting
her at the restaurant, she approached me, took a cake out of the fridge,
got undressed and carried out her constant ritual. I got suddenly
so turned on, that my prick thought of punching my stretched pants,
so I took 'em off. Astonished and grateful, I stared at my lover performing
the ceremony easily and slowly, thanking Jesus Lord for her beauty.
She bent down to place her ass in front of the cake, while I'm standing
in the corner watching her drawing near her slit and sh*thole to approximately
2-3 inches from the cake, waiting patiently for the digestion gases
to accumulate, then be thrust out of her body to meet the benign cake.
She told me she'd had the beans, so she was equipped with a lot of
farts just to be proud of. After she let out a silent one, felt only
due to its odor, she broke winds loudly, about 5 or 6 in a row, every
one of them sounded like a canon bombardment, or at least - a starting
motorcycle. The last one lasted 7 whole seconds. I think she passed
gas at 500 ml bulk sum total. Initially the smell was hot, strong
and condensed as the molecules were too dense. It smelt like the combination
of a rotten eggs, a gas station and fresh feces-turd. After a while
when it began to spread, it has become sharp, diffused and less offensive.
After about 20 seconds it felt all over the room, surprisingly turning
me on. She raised from the bending position, getting up on her feet.
Couple of minutes later a good looking young fella entered the restaurant
and asked for a cake. Kristine served him the foul smelling cake.
He ate it unabruptly, unaware of the drama which had taken place just
before. I was watching the scene while it was going on, I couldn't
hold it in, and rushed to the staff's bathroom, bursting out laughing,
lying on the floor twisting, until my belly was sore. 10 minutes later,
after recovering from the wild laughter, I went out of the facility
just to encounter the funny guy holding his stomach, with a tormented
expression on his face, speeding all the way to get rid of the foul
cake. I think he's just had at least 150 million germs...
hearing damage,maybe,constupation,definitly!
if that happened to me,i would just HAVE to stuff the phone up some represenatives ass.particularly if i didnt get an IMMEDIATE free trade in for a safe phone.
semens phone indeed.hmmph
*Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!