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Half-Life 2 Going Gold on Monday? [updated]

Warrior-GS writes "According to GameSpy, Gabe Newell has announced that Half-Life 2 is going gold on Monday. Numerous retail outlets have Sept. 1 or Sept. 2 as a shelf-date for the game, so a gold announcement now seems to mean those dates are fairly close to reality." Given that HL2 is already available on Steam, this doesn't sound too far-fetched. Update: 08/28 19:27 GMT by T : Kraiger writes "According to HL2 Fallout the announcement of the futuristic FPS, "Half-Life 2", going Gold is a complete hoax! According to HL2 Fallout, the announcement from Gabe Newell, a Valve Software employee, was created by someone who was able to guess the simple password of "gaben" for Gabe's forum account."

15 of 278 comments (clear)

  1. First Cake Fart by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Hi, my name is Tom and I'm about to disclose to you a very
    messy matter between my girlfriend and I, which I would readily like to share
    with you. Her name is Kristine Olsen, originally from Mesa, AZ. As chief chef
    at Delmonico in NYC she's directly subordinated to me. Well, for couple of
    years she's been having a bizarre habit/hobby, - farting on cream cakes...
    That's her prank-like way to treat rude uncilvilized customers. She carries it
    out behind the stoves at my presence. Now, we're talking about a famous
    restaurant in the city, where many celebs, including mayor Giuliani pay a visit.
    It's amazing to see her taking off her pants, exposing her bare butt before me,
    then bending over, squating with it to the cake, and vigorously breaking winds
    all over it. It's so sexy!
    Once I decided to get down to it and asked her as to the meaning of this
    bizarre fetish, so she told me that it has turned her on since she was little
    girl. So one day while I was visiting her at the restaurant, she approached me,
    took a cake out of the fridge, got undressed and carried out her constant
    ritual. I got suddenly so turned on, that my prick thought of punching my
    stretched pants, so I took 'em off. Astonished and grateful, I stared at my
    lover performing the ceremony easily and slowly, thanking Jesus Lord for her
    beauty.
    She bent down to place her ass in front of the cake, while I'm standing in the
    corner watching her drawing near her slit and shithole to approximately 2-3
    inches from the cake, waiting patiently for the digestion gases to accumulate,
    then be thrust out of her body to meet the beneign cake. She told me she'd had
    the beans, so she was equiped with a lot of farts just to be proud of. After
    she let out a silent one, felt only due to its odor, she broke winds loudly,
    about 5 or 6 in a row, every one of them sounded like a canon bombardment, or
    at least - a starting motorcycle. The last one lasted 7 whole seconds. I think
    she passed gas at 500 ml bulk sum total.
    Initially the smell was hot, strong and condensed as the molecules were too
    dense. It smelt like the combination of a rotten eggs, a gas station and fresh
    feces-turd. After a while when it began to spread, it has become sharp,
    diffused and less offensive. After about 20 seconds it felt all over the room,
    surprisingly turning me on. She raised from the bending position, getting up on
    her feet.
    Couple of minutes later a good looking young fella entered the restaurant and
    asked for a cake. Kristine served him the foul smelling cake. He ate it
    unabruptly, unaware of the drama which had taken place just before. I was
    watching the scene while it was going on, I coundn't hold it in, and rushed to
    the staff's bathroom, bursting out laughing, lying on the floor twisting, until
    my belly was sore.
    10 minutes later, after recovering from the wild laughter, I went out of the
    facility just to encounter the funny guy holding his stomach, with a tormented
    expression on his face, speeding all the way to get rid of the foul cake. I
    think he's just had at least 150 million germs...

  2. Re:And the hardware to run it... by Zorilla · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    ...which will be running on the next iteration of Windows, which will have hardware ready to run it by 2016.

    --

    It would be cool if it didn't suck.
  3. Re:Gold, perhaps, but not yet retail by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic


    A competition between farting females is also been taken into account.
    Their feminine crack may produce the combo of gas station and rotten
    eggs aromas are the ones taking the cake.

    P.S. For raunchy scents and prolonged effects you may abstain from
    taking a dump for 2 days so the fart smell will be the "worst".

  4. Re:probably not by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I got inspired at a nudist beach at Southern France: I was riding the bus holding a birthday cake, when a lady standing next to me released her noxious gas right on the cake.

  5. s2games by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    s2games on a million dollar budget made their game run on linux, mac and windows.

    How can half-life (starting from a code-base that worked on linux, quake II) not work on linux?

    Sure it's a small market, but apples aren't. Lets say they sell 10k apple copies. 10k x $90 is a fair few programers. And it's more a question planning ahead than actual work.

    Add to that gabe fell for a simple social engineered virus trick.

    They aren't like the definition of geek I know.

    And counter-strike could have been a mod on any engine, not HL, so they don't get credit for that. Only a partially ok, railroaded game.

    And oh, they lied about the AI, it might be good now, but it was shit when they said "it's awesome and working".

  6. Re:I, for one by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    In case a woman dares to fart on the candles, what do you expect to happen next - will it light her farts or blow the candles with her warm wet raunchy loud fart?

  7. Re:Yes, but did you ask if ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I was a referee, one out of 3, in a body fluid contest.
    Well, this very competition took place in Chicago, July
    9th, 1998, where the dominant principle which prevailed was
    pretty simple: "The grosser - The better". Well, there were 5 cakes
    lying on the floor with a petite cherry on top.
    Five different women were to spill their assorted
    excretions on only one of the cakes each. (Men need not
    apply). The rule was - no more than one body fluid kind of
    waste to each participant. Everyone of them had to enroll
    in advance, notifying what kind of activity is her domain.

    The first one was Donna. She was about 28 years old blond
    chick from Kentucky. She walked slightly, exposed her
    peachy pussy and solid ass to the camera, then bent down to
    the cake, to sprinkle and gush out her golden stream,
    consists of urea and water. After 20 sec, more or less, she
    got up and walked away, to the enthusiastic cheers,
    applauds and clapping of the crowd, leaving a golden liquid
    layer to settle down on the cake and seap.
    The other contender was Mary-Joe, a 50 years old house
    wife from Pennsylvania. She squatted on the cake, and
    packed it with her brown foul smelling fresh shit. It kept
    coming out of her ass for a while, leaving 3 giant turds to
    decorate the cake. Unfortunately, she was disqualified due
    to a violation of the rules - she got rid of a bugging fart
    during the process. Her husband, Larry, who attended the
    arena, couldn't hide his apparent disappointment.
    Samantha was the one registered to the farting part. She
    was only 18 (no minors allowed). Her blue eyes and angelic
    face shined, while she approached the middle cake, bringing
    her anus to a roughly 2 inches gap from it, straining, and
    shooting a loud fart, which even managed to blow away the
    cherry off the cake. 2-3 more, and the cake was really
    "full of shit" as the phrase goes. Not to mention some 15 million E-
    coli germs to colonize the now foul smelling
    cake. People in the crowd could swear the smell reached to
    high heaven.
    Sheri was next, a 32 years old homely married woman from
    Oklahoma. She was tall and had a round face and bright
    complexion. She had signed up to the vomiting play. So
    after having 5 eggs at home, plus a bottle of castor oil
    and 3 ham steaks, she threw up her belly products on the
    poor cake. It came with waves and smell was even worse than
    the one of the shit. I bet that after roughly 5 hours, the
    strong chlorin acid melted down all residue of the cake (It
    was disposed after the contest, though. maybe I should've
    asked the landfill worker).
    The last one was Brandy, a 35 years old lawyer from
    Michigan. She rubbed herself for a while, and when she was
    completely nude, she pulled a string, and pulled out an
    entirely blood soaked just-used tampon. She squeezed it all
    over the cake, sprinkling her fresh blood and some dead
    placenta cells. Then she raised on her feet and went out,
    with an arrogant grin spread on her face.

    The bells rang. Andy, Shawn and I had to call for the
    winner. We had a tough pains-taking between Sheri and
    Brandy. After half an hour we declared Brandy as the
    winner, granting her the "Golden cake" trophy, along with a symbolic
    Tampax package, and a 100$ note. The second body
    fluid happening is scheduled to take place later this year.
    We'll keep you updated...

  8. Re:I, for one by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    That is entirely a function of the following:
    • Methane/oxygen ratio
    • Spatter quantity
    • Spatter velocity
    All of which are mitigated by diet, clothing, and DC (distance to candle).

    HTH.

  9. Re:Steam by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Ever since the beginning of my puberty I had a thing for female cake
    farting. The superb vision for me is to watch Pamela Anderson and
    Christina Applegate at a lounge with a birthday cake on the floor.
    Jenna and Sandra hike down their pants, turn their bare butts at the
    cake from approximately 2 inches each one from different side , then
    simultaneously "beat the drum" on the cake, trying to blow the candles,
    as if attempting to compete each against the other when it comes to
    smell, rancidity, loudness and how long the fart lasts. And they
    release their intestinal methane gas until the room is increasingly
    rendered unbearable to stay in. Christina's rancid fart catches fire,
    as she grins saying :"I've always been into burning farts :)". Pamela's
    answer was an 11 seconds long rip that blew the candles. Then the cake
    was evacuated, but not be4 frustrated Christina stooled a 1 feet turd
    on it.

  10. Not voting for Kerry by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Kerry threw war medals away and was never in Cambodia during Christmas when he said he was.

    At least George Bush honourably served his country

    1. Re:Not voting for Kerry by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      You do realize that even George Bush himself disagrees with what you're saying?

    2. Re:Not voting for Kerry by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Over 200 SWIFT vets agree that Kerry wasn't there.

  11. It would help to NOT make Half Life too intensive by xot · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    I think the key to the success of CounterStrike & Half Life is that these are not Ultra new age , system hogging games.
    They run on moderately powered PC's as compared to Unreal and other system heavy games.Thats what created the mass apeal as a larger amount of people can play them.If they follow the same principle i think It should do better than the first part.

    --
    Lord of the Binges.
  12. HL is great but what about Team Fortress? by Tibor+the+Hun · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Does anyone have any info on when TF2 will be released?

    --
    If you don't know what AltaVista is (was), get off my lawn.
  13. Doom 3 by xanadu-xtroot.com · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    So where's the Doom 3 Linux client?

    --
    I'm not a prophet or a stone-age man,
    I'm just a mortal with potential of a super man.