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Do You Thrive or Crack Under Pressure?
Flatline5150 writes "The New York Times has a good article on why some people thrive under stress while others crack under pressure. Among other tidbits, pessimists make great lawyers..."
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Do You Thrive on Crack?
-thewldisntenuff
My MythTV HowTo
Pressure doesn't bother me, in fact I thrive on it.
My district manager just left my office after telling me that a huge project due for completion in January 2006 has been pushed forward. It's now due at 4:30 today. "No biggee," I said "is there anything else you WANT YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!"
Everyone handles stress differently. Tonight, long after the project fails, I'll go to my district manager's house and burn it down. Then I'll urinate on his smouldering crisp remains while screaming "HOW'S THIS FOR A FUCKING 4:30 DEADLINE, COCKSUCKER?!"
Most people would really crack at this stage. Not me. Tommorrow I'll come into work with a chainsaw. The first to get it will be the bleach blonde fat bitch at reception who always pronunces my name wrong. Then will be the district manager. He's only there through nepotism. Hopefully he will not have heard about how his uncle's charred, urine-soaked remains were found that morning. I expect to remove his spleen through his anus with my 18" McCulloch WoodMeister2000.
This is the point where the men are separated from the boys.
After a relaxing cup of coffee in the blood splattered cafeteria I'll quietly go the front grass of the building and stomp earthworms in my bare feet while awaiting the police. Little do they know that I'll have sticks of dynamite under my light jacket ready to go at the press of a thumb.
I'll show them.
det burg was here
I thrive on crack under pressure.
I'm under the impression I would compress. Might be messy, though.
Seriously, if you don't give me a deadline of tomorrow, it doesn't get done. Period. (Why am I employed? I don't get it.)
I make diamonds
(geology joke, carry on)
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
When people start feeling that what they're doing is not meaningful, then they take more sick days, begin looking for another job, and complain of health problems.
and read, post, moderate, metamoderate, and generally interact more on slashdot.
Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
I am an underemployed lawyer, and silly me thought it was the terrible hiring market for lawyers. I guess the other underemployed lawyers I know are also too optimistic as well.
On a side note, there is indication that some lawyer functions might be off-shored in the near future, so I've got that to be optimistic about as well. Nothing like have Gurpreet in India writing your legal briefs.
You know, the pressure is much easier to handle when you take Xanax and Lexapro together. Oxycontin works well, too, as does Hydrocodone. If your doctor won't prescribe any of these, just make a few posts with a legitimate e-mail address on Usenet and you'll have several offers for acquiring these handy "pressure pills" delivered to your inbox within days.
I strive under pressure when I'm on crack. Which is daily.
WTPOUAWYHTTOTWPA
What's the point of using acronyms when you have to type out the whole phrase anyways?
Some people can do that. It's a function of one's biological clock, I guess. I think Margaret Thatcher ran the UK on three hours of sleep a night - which explains a lot.