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Dave Barry on Electronic Voting

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the stuff-to-read dept.

eggoeater writes "With the general interest Slashdot has with electronic voting machines, I thought we'd all enjoy reviewing Dave Barry's take on touch-screen voting machines and debating the merits of police officers carrying lightsabers."

13 of 323 comments (clear)

  1. Maybe a little offtopic but... by leonmergen · · Score: 5, Funny
    From the article: "One big concern is that electronic voting machines could be tampered with by ''hackers,'' as was the case recently when an 11-year-old New Jersey boy named Jason Feeblehonker, using only his GameBoy, was able to get himself elected governor of both North Carolina and Wisconsin. "

    I probably haven't been paying attention, but is this really true ? I really can't imagine hacking something using a gameboy... anyone has an article about this? Wasn't able to find it with google...

    --
    - Leon Mergen
    http://www.solatis.com
    1. Re:Maybe a little offtopic but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      The best part about the parent is that he[?] isn't actually trolling - he's just fucking retarded.

      SATIRE!

    2. Re:Maybe a little offtopic but... by Zorilla · · Score: 4, Funny

      as was the case recently when an 11-year-old New Jersey boy named Jason Feeblehonker, using only his GameBoy, was able to get himself elected governor of both North Carolina and Wisconsin. "

      Hey, if John Connor can highjack an ATM with nothing but his Atari portable computer, anything's possible, right?"

      "Easy money!"

      --

      It would be cool if it didn't suck.
    3. Re:Maybe a little offtopic but... by Izaak · · Score: 4, Funny

      The best part about the parent is that he[?] isn't actually trolling - he's just fucking retarded.

      SATIRE!

      Should we really be engaging in satire over such a sacred and important subject as our democratic process? It might be a distraction from the really important issues... like the fact that Bush is being supported by space aliens! :) wwww.AliensForBush.com/

      --

      The Bolachek Journals

  2. Formicidae by Stanistani · · Score: 5, Funny

    Actually, the best thing about the article was visualizing all three of the candidates standing on lawns with biting ants. Hmmm... wonder if I can get some
    Jason Feeblehonker 2004
    bumperstickers printed up?

    --
    You can't talk about Wikipedia's flaws on Wikipedia
  3. Technology by In-gin-eer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hokey religions and ancient punch-cards are no match for a good electronic voting machine in your booth.

  4. OK, that is IT! by magefile · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm going to join the police. I mean, the tasers were always cool, but ... lightsabers? Dude, sign me up!

  5. Beets by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    Dave Berry wrote: These are supposed to eliminate the screw-ups we had in the 2000 election, in which the ballots of thousands of Florida voters were not counted because, due to poor design, many Floridians have the intelligence of a sugar beet.

    I'll bet he gets at least a few letters complaining about the sugar beet intelligence comparison - from sugar beets.

  6. Slashdot polls by Anonymous+Writer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just use the polls on slashdot for voting. Somehow I suspect this would result in CowboyNeal becoming president.

    1. Re:Slashdot polls by Anonymous+Writer · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm voting for Nader you insensitive clod!

      "A vote for Nader is a vote for CowboyNeal" :P

  7. Re:Eletronic voting booth by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    There is no Diebold in Brazil. The CEO of Diebold promised to deliver votes to Bush. So, if there ever is a Diebold machine in Brazil, Bush will get votes there. He won't be elected, however, since Brazilians think Osama bin Laden is less violent and more reasonable, and a lot more intelligent.

  8. Cthulu/Voldermort 2004 by xyloplax · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why settle for the lesser of two evils?

    --
    -- "You can lead a yak to water, but you can't teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke" - Opus
  9. Re:I think Dave has some points by Colonel+Cholling · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think he's got some points being funny though. I mean, how many people do you know who becoome so obsessed with this election, that even a mention of "a different" canidate will get you a glare?

    I had a friend who used to be like this, one of those "defeat Bush at all cost" types. Then, as the campaigns wore on, he became more and more jaded, realizing that Kerry probably wouldn't be much better at fixing all the things that were wrong with the Bush administration. He considered voting for Nader, but thought that that would just be throwing his vote away and playing into Bush's hands.

    Then he remembered he was a Canadian citizen and couldn't vote here anyway.

    --

    I am Sartre of the Borg. Existence is futile.