Slashdot Mirror
People on Mars in 30 Years?
lucabrasi999 writes "Yahoo is running a Reuters story in which Arthur Thompson, the head of the NASA 'rover' missions, says that people could be landing on Mars in the next twenty or thirty years. If that is true, I estimate that within 50 years, Mars will need women."
GNAA reactionaries take Condoleezza Rice hostage
Zeikfried - Associated Press, America
In a dawn raid that shocked and overwhelmed local security in its ferocity, the normally pacifistic forces of the Gay Nigger Assocation of America (seemingly backed up by a highly trained militia recruited from the French district of New Orleans), attacked and captured Americas second most notorious Nigger, National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice.
As baffled secret service officials still searched for a motive, their questions were soon answered in the form of a video (distributed via Ogrish.com) showing a now naked and bound Rice knelt before her captors, who were all masked and of african-american descent. In a carefully prepared statement, Miss Rice stated that her captors had been accommodating, providing her with fresh dongs and gay nigger seed to sustain her during the difficult journey to her current location, which is believed to be Central Nigeria.
His voice muffled by the cloth covering all but his eyes, the leader of the kidnappers (who referred to himself as "Tuvai"), demanded the release of one of their members, known only as "l0de", currently being held and beaten with sacks of Jewish gold in the notorious Camp X-ray (located in US naval base of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba). The dark men then chillingly warned that "If our demands were not met within 72 hours, we shall decapitate the zionist with our dongs".
In response, a disheveled President Bush, who had to postpone his somewhat mysterious personal vacation to Columbia, stated that if Miss Rice was not returned immediately he would "personally march to Nigeria himself" to see the utter destruction of the GNAA.
After being silently informed by the carefully hovering Dick Cheney that Nigeria was infact across several thousand miles of Ocean and such a feat was impossible, the mobilsation of the US Airforce began, with Nigerian capital Abuja City already described by Fox News as "a smoking ruin". Although Reuters, AP and the BBC have maintained that it is "unharmed and currently in the middle of a mass orgy".
OSTG was unavailible for comment, however it has been confirmed via Netcraft that LostCluster has been given a pre-emptive +5, fellatio from Slashdot editor Michael Sims, several hours before the articles posting.
About l0de:
Long time GNAA and Teens4christ member l0de has amassed a loyal following both among the listeners to his weekly "l0de radio hour" internet broadcast/terrorist sleeper cell activation code, and among the AIDS ridden homosexuals that frequent the New Orleans area.
His disappearance soon after his arrest by local authorities has been blamed on the Secret Service, who, it is alleged, were tipped off an hour previously regarding threats made by l0de on his September 11th lrh special to hijack a Carnival Cruise Ship and ram it into the White House.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a
The Experience of Hans and Else with a Strange Man
Else begins to have plenty of sweets.
Hans asks from where they are coming.
"I have got them from a strange man. But don't tell mother! The man strictly forbade me to do so!"
Hans is curious. They arrange to go together. The "man" wants them to go with him.
Hans hesitates -- Hans thought:
'What does the man want of us? Why should we go with him?'
Suddenly a great fear comes over him.
"You are a Jew!" he cries and seizing his sister, runs off as fast as his legs will carry him. At the corner of the street he meets a policeman. Quickly Hans tells his story. The policeman gets on his motor-bike and soon overtakes the strange man. He handcuffs him and takes him to prison.
At home, subsequently, there is great rejoicing. The police praise Hans for being a brave lad. His mother gives him a large piece of chocolate while teaching him the following saying:
"A devil goes through the land,
The Jew he is, known to us all
As murderer of the peoples and polluter of the races,
The terror of children in every country!
He wants to ruin the youth.
He wants all peoples to die.
Have nothing to do with a Jew
Then you'll be happy and gay!"
Copyright (c) 2006 Mike Bouma, MCSE, MCDST, MS Office Specialist, widely respected Amigan
Nice try. Too bad you FUCKING FAILED IT!!
Hey rocket-scientist! How many Iraquis would Saddam and the embargo have killed by now?
The way primary and secondary education is going these days:
A: We'll need to first consult with the UN to get permission to test engines that will get us there.
B: We'll need to simulate in a computer the long term effects on Mars because animals have more rights then people and animal testing is bad.
C: We'll need to make sure our Mother Earth grants us permission to use all that air and make sure we don't cause injury to her.
D: It will take 30 years to recycle the materials to build the craft and remember, we can't use electricity because the coal fired power plants pollute our Mother.
E: We'll have to outsource all our engineering to a communist country as we are too busy teaching self-confidence and self-esteem rather then Math and Science.
F: We'll have to find a way to blame any failures on those stone age conservative types as their are doing this solely to destory our Mother Earth.
G: We'll have to write an essay on why Bush is an evil man for suggesting we head out to Mars to rape our "Mother's Little Brother". (Yes at Castle Elementry in Oakdale MN I overheard the science teacher referring to Mars as stated)
H: We'll have to hold hands and hold a candlelight vigil protesting the shameful endangerment of flocks of birds that the shuttles may hit during liftoff.
I: The government will have to hire thousands of small, mom and pop shops, to build the craft as we wouldn't want to favor large corporations that might actually get the job done. The government will spend the next 30 years trying to sort out the details and keep the 400+ companies on the same page when it comes to construction.
J: An artist will have to design the look & feel of the shuttle to represent the spirit of community ignoring practicality and expense. Engineers spend another 10 years trying to make the giant abstract artwork safe to fly.
K: 80% of the originally approved budget for the project will be appropraited for welfare programs for people suffer the latest disease called Labor Deficit Syndrom, a horrible disease affectting 90% of the population. Formerly known as "Lazy"
L: After 60 years of buracracy, silly politically correctness, and apathy the US will be overthrown in an Islamist extreamest revolution backed by the communist. The resulting civil war after the Isamunism victory the commies and Islamist Radicals start a civil war. Islamist win. Cue theme music to Dune and proceed to appoint the first Padasaw Emperor. Earth begins searching for the Fabled Arrakis..... Muadib... Muadib!!
-=[ Who Is John Galt? ]=-