Slashdot Mirror
Google Faces Employee Retention Challenge
prakslash writes "60% of Google's 1900 employees now hold stock options worth at least one million dollars. According to experts in this Reuters article, it is now imperative for Google to maintain its sense of mission. If it fails to do so, a whole slew of employees facing post-IPO burnout and boredom will leave the company to go back to school, start a new company, or join the ranks of high-tech early retirees. Such a mass cashing-out could lead to a decline in Google stock price and intellectual brain-drain. Oh how I wish I worked for Google."
Well send in your CV! It sounds like they might have a few job openings shortly...
I guess Google is finally realizing that there's no such thing as a free lunch (even if they provide their employees with one).
To quit your job at google go to: {last 10-digit prime found in consecutive digits of e}.com
CFO: It looks like we have quite a problem, Eric. We are losing employees because their stock options are worth so much, they don't wan't to work anymore.
CEO: The deuce you say, George. There's only one thing to do.
CFO: What's that?
CEO: George, we have to tank the company. When the stock bottoms out, we'll buy back those options and correct the retention problem. We must destroy Google to save it.
CFO: OMFG, you're brillant. But how will we devalue the company? Google is doing great.
CEO: We're going to need help. We need someone with experience in this sort of thing. Get Carly at HP on the phone, quick!
Maybe you'd even be able to purchase an iPod instead of getting people to sign up for a pyramid scheme so you can get one.
Not a Twitter sockpuppet... but I wish I was.
As my ex-boss once said: ...
Being rich does not make you happy, but it is easier to cry in a Rolls-Royce
On the contrary... Oh, how I wish I used to work for Google!