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Election Day Discussion

With the polls now already open in most of the country, this is the official on-topic place for all Slashdot readers to discuss the election itself. And get out and vote if you can. Also, if you haven't noticed, the Slashdot poll shows once and for all where Slashdot readers fall on the election. I'm off to vote in a couple hours. Wonder if we'll have Diebolds in my district.

41 of 1,718 comments (clear)

  1. First Vote! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    First Vote!

  2. SouthPark by kannibal_klown · · Score: 2, Funny

    Like always, it's a choice between a doosh and a turd sandwhich.

    1. Re:SouthPark by teamhasnoi · · Score: 3, Funny

      If Turd Sandwitch wins, that'll be 'Freedom Rinse' to you.

    2. Re:SouthPark by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I just love how you Rednecks use the word 'liberal' as a term of offence, like they're all wimps who aren't man enough to be a biggotted right-winger like yourself :)

    3. Re:SouthPark by nanojath · · Score: 2, Funny

      More to the point, would anyone choose a turd sandwich over a douche? I mean, I'm a man so a douche is irrelevant to me. I guess maybe I would have to exchange it for an enema. But a turd sandwich, presumably, you gotta eat. I'll take a little squirt of water up the privates any day over eating shit on bread. Even if you aren't being FORCED to use the item in question, I'd rather have a douche sitting around in the medicine cabinet rather than exrement on whole wheat. It's a totally obvious choice. I'm beginning to think the guy that made that comment wasn't all that damn bright, in fact.

      --

      It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries

  3. I've been waiting at work all morning for this by HMA2000 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Finally, something to distract me. I want some extreme polazation in this thread people!!!

  4. Finally! by Z-MaxX · · Score: 4, Funny

    I forgot what it was like to turn on the TV or drive 2 blocks without being flooded with political ads. Yay! Finally back to real life. :)

    --
    Dr Superlove 300ml. I use my powers for awesome
    1. Re:Finally! by theonetruekeebler · · Score: 2, Funny

      Just in time to make room for the Christmas ads, hooray!

      --
      This is not my sandwich.
  5. newsflash by Vanguard(DC) · · Score: 2, Funny

    go out and vote for Bush and stuff...and stuff...

    [insert redundant political rant here]

    --
    "I think, therefore I get paid."
  6. Thank God! by Daengbo · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope it's all decided quickly, so the Canadian who sits next to me at work can stop bitching about the election all day every day. I swear she cares more deeply about this than I do.

    And, to her, no, I still won't watch F.9/11, thank you very much. I don't need any extra propoganda in my life.

    1. Re:Thank God! by provolt · · Score: 2, Funny
      Grab, you just made my day.
      "...moral-free, low-IQ weasel, just bcos he says..."


      Such well-articulated arguments from around the world. And you even included a bonus misspelling in the same sentence where you call a guy dumb! You Rule!
  7. Ukraine by GoofyBoy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Finally, an slashdot story that is non-American-centric!

    --
    The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
  8. Site very slow by b4rtm4n · · Score: 2, Funny

    A valiant attempt by the Slashdot editors to slashdot Slashdot itself.

    --
    "goatse? What's that? Anyone have a link?" - AC
  9. The most important thing to keep in mind.... by Rahga · · Score: 5, Funny

    Remember to vote, or P. Diddy will kill you.

    1. Re:The most important thing to keep in mind.... by dr_dank · · Score: 2, Funny

      Remember to vote, or P. Diddy will kill you.

      He doesn't vote for himself. He just stands outside the voting booth and goes "yeah, unh, uh-huh, thats right, uh".

      --
      Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
  10. Re:More clickbait by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Site is slow after only 40 comments. Use the mirror.

  11. I already voted... by xsupergr0verx · · Score: 2, Funny

    and I was disgusted to see that my candidate was not on the ballot. I truly believe he can "end global terrorism within 24 hours."

    --

    Click here for a free picture of an iPod!
  12. Re:Go Kerry! by evilviper · · Score: 5, Funny
    [...]please put Kerry into office. Not because I think he's a better man, but he's hella better than Bush.

    My head just exploded.

    You don't think Kerry is the better man, but you think he's better than the other man?

    Are you sure you're not one of those undecided voter?
    --
    Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
  13. Re: if you choose to not vote by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny


    > don't bitch about the president during the next 4 years

    Corollary 1: If they one you vote for loses, bitch continually for the next four years.

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  14. Voting machines by festers · · Score: 5, Funny

    No Diebold in Dupage County, IL, I'm glad to say. :) We have the "fill in the oval, let the Scantron machine scan it" setup. I guess when your county is 90% Republican you don't feel the need to rig the election with a bogus computer voting system. ;)

    --


    -------
    "Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief."
  15. Mark voters thumbs with an ink pen by nounderscores · · Score: 3, Funny

    They should mark voters thumb nails with a marker pen once they've voted. That'll fix it.

    1. Re:Mark voters thumbs with an ink pen by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      The Taliban removed my thumbnails, you insensitive clod!

  16. Re: Voter fraud! by micromoog · · Score: 2, Funny
    Disturbing, yes, but it has probably been happening all over the country for decades.

    Oh, in that case it's OK then.

  17. Re:Here in VA by Overzeetop · · Score: 4, Funny

    Down in southwestern VA, we get to use the old mechanical systems one more time. I love it. The tactile response of the levers and visuals of the little "x" next to the candidate/decision of your choice. But, really, it's the ratcheting and ka-chung! as you pull the lever to record your vote. It just _feels_ like you're inflicting justice with that pull.

    --
    Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
  18. Re:Good turnout? by gfxguy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sadly, when Bush wins, Moore simply has another four years of inflaming the angry left.

    --
    Stupid sexy Flanders.
  19. In late-breaking news, FOX Network ... by quarkscat · · Score: 3, Funny

    has determined that George W. Bush has won, with 2% of the East Coast results tabulated (Bush - 56% // Kerry - 49%). George W. Bush heartily thanks his allies at Diebold for their assistance in bringing these latest poll figures.

    1. Re:In late-breaking news, FOX Network ... by flibuste · · Score: 2, Funny

      Bush - 56% // Kerry - 49%

      Am I too old for Maths or is that 105% of votes? No wonder why you have to recount votes and the majority doesn't always win in your country...

  20. Re:Vote! by Ford+Prefect · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, no, no, no. Get out and vote EVEN IF YOU CAN'T.

    I agree with the sentiment about everyone voting, but I'm finding rather difficult to vote for the US presidency this side of the Atlantic.

    Anyone got any recommendations as to how I can do so? ;-)

    --
    Tedious Bloggy Stuff - hooray?
  21. Election Code by losing+balance · · Score: 2, Funny

    castVote("Kerry");
    while (countingVotes()) {
    crossFingers();
    }
    if (getWinner().equals("Bush")) {
    bendOver();
    moveTo("Canada");
    }

  22. Re:Election rigging already? by RealProgrammer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Two lawsuits have been filed in connection with the malfunctioning machine.

    The Republican National Committee is charging that many of the votes present before the polls opened were from convicted felons and illegal immigrants, and wants those thrown out. They say the others should be kept - it's not the voters' fault their ballots wound up in a malfunctioning machine.

    The DNC also filed suit, charging the RNC with trying to disenfranchise the alleged felons and immigrants, which are disproportionately Black and Hispanic, according to Census data. They want a corresponding number of overseas absentee ballots to be thrown out, to make it fair.

    Libertarian Michael Badnarik and Green Party candidate David Cobb protested outside the courthouse, asking why there were no ballots on the machine for either of them and demanding equal access to the machines before the polls opened next election.

    --
    sigs, as if you care.
  23. Don't forget by paranode · · Score: 2, Funny
    sandwich
    n

    1.
    a) Two or more slices of bread with a filling such as meat or cheese placed between them.
    b) A partly split long or round roll containing a filling.
    c) One slice of bread covered with a filling.

    2. Something resembling a sandwich.

  24. Re:Vote Libertarian by American+AC+in+Paris · · Score: 4, Funny
    For meaningful change, the only choice is Michael Badnarik!

    I forget. Which one of these is the Badnarik/Campagna slogan, again?

    • "Badnarik '04: A Meth Lab In Every Garage And A .45 On Every Hip!"
    • "Badnarik '04: Survival Of The Fittest Isn't Just A Good Idea--It's The Law!"
    • "Badnarik '04: Grow A Pair And Vote For Us, You Fucking Sheep!"
    • "Badnarik '04: Men Are Angels!"
    • "Badnarik '04: Government BAAAAAD!"
    --

    Obliteracy: Words with explosions

  25. Revelation by base_chakra · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wait a minute... something just occurred to me!

    If some insidious government officials were to approve the installation an easily-corruptible voting system in order to co-opt the election according to their agenda, and if the mass media then convinced the masses that the election is really close and could go either way, then it wouldn't be quite so transparent when the election was rigged in favor of one candidate!

    Holy crap!

  26. Re:While the Poll is obvious... by Gulthek · · Score: 3, Funny

    Really? When my wife and I went to the State Fair (the first Saturday it was open) it was completely the opposite. Swarms of Kerry signs and stickers and I literally only saw two people with Bush signs.

    When my wife remarked that there were much more people for Kerry than Bush, a random woman near us said, "Lord I hope so!" in perfect southern drawl.

    I don't care what the analysts say, NC was a swing state this election and I believe it's swinging blue this year.

  27. The great thing about Kerry is that... by SuperKendall · · Score: 2, Funny

    (1) He's also fiscally liberal!

    Something for everyone.

    Vote change, vote Libertarian

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  28. Re: Vote Libertarian by Hognoxious · · Score: 2, Funny

    Bush was certainly keen on the draft. Of the Miller Genuine variety.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  29. Re:I was disenfranchised. by WolfgangVonEstevez · · Score: 1, Funny

    At least you married one of them. So when the Gestapo comes, maybe they'll take it easy on you and the bruises won't last all that long.

  30. Re:While the Poll is obvious... by chitownIrish · · Score: 4, Funny
    Though while standing in line to feed my paper ballot marked with a pen into some thing

    Hopefully that "thing" was not a shredder...

  31. Exit poll for Slashdotters by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Did you register to vote?

    Did the Board of Elections "lose" your registration?

    Did the out-of-state guy who helped you fill out the registration form show up to vote while you were there?

    Did anyone challenge your registration?

    Were all of the candidates on the ballot?

    If you were using an electronic voting machine, did it work?

    Are you sure?

    Please note, your responses will not be counted if you are registered with the wrong party, not in a swing state or used an electronic voting machine.

  32. It's the facts.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    they're biased against you.

  33. Re:All Hail President Kang by flahavin · · Score: 2, Funny

    I voted for kodos.