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Using Layered Defenses to Stop Internet Worms

Posted by michael on from the belt-and-suspenders dept.

An anonymous submitter writes "Following last week's release of security configuration guidance for Mac OS X, the National Security Agency has released a paper on Internet worms and how to stop new worms using layered defenses (pdf). A good read - your US tax dollars at work."

25 of 148 comments (clear)

  1. Using ggv... by grub · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hrmmm...

    There was an error while scaning the file: /home/grieder/WORMPAPER.pdf

    **** This file has a corrupted %%EOF marker, or garbage after the %%EOF.
    **** The file was produced by Acrobat PDFWriter 5.0 for Windows NT:
    **** please notify the author of this software
    **** that the file does not conform to Adobe's published PDF
    **** specification. Processing of the file will continue normally.

    Do I "notify the author" (malcodeteam@nsa.gov> or just assume that Echelon will do it for me when you read this?

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:Using ggv... by mbrewthx · · Score: 2, Funny

      Worked for me.. You must have a worm...

      --
      __________ Leave me alone I'm compiling a RPG II program on my S/36...Thanks to metamucil I'm a Regular Meta Moderator
  2. So did you just out yourself? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "/home/grieder/WORMPAPER.pdf"? The NSA has you now, grub!!!

    1. Re:So did you just out yourself? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny


      They could have just done a whois on my domain name :)

      Hold on, I'm being paged down to the parking garage...

  3. Tax dollars. by The+Old+Burke · · Score: 5, Funny
    What tax dollars?

    I'm rich.

    --
    Proud patriot and republican voter.
    1. Re:Tax dollars. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Shut up. I'm bitter.

  4. This report cost $2 billion US taxpayer dollars by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Stopping Worms:

    -Patch your systems.

    -Use a firewall.

    -Stop running web servers and other stuff.

    Thank You,

    Uncle Sam

    1. Re:This report cost $2 billion US taxpayer dollars by SpaceLifeForm · · Score: 2, Funny
      They could have saved a bundle, but it wasn't politically correct to give out the free advice:

      Don't use Windows.

      --
      You are being MICROattacked, from various angles, in a SOFT manner.
  5. what is this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    wormpaper.pif?

  6. har har by scaaven · · Score: 1, Funny

    I didn't know the internet had worms. maybe it needs to flush its system with some colon cleaner or wormwood.

    --
    I know I'm going to be modded up on this
  7. Re:my guide to avoiding worms by Red+Alastor · · Score: 3, Funny

    And *my* guide to avoiding worms :

    1) Use Linux

    --
    Slashdot anagrams to "Sad Sloth"
  8. Re:my guide to avoiding worms by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    And *my* guide to avoiding worms :
    1) Use Linux

    Ha ha!! LOL!! ROFLMAO!!!1!! R0FFl3z!! That is S0 hill-ayreeous! Use Lunix becaz Micr0$0ft iz teh SUXXH0RZ!!!1! Yuo mad teh j0k3 abuot Micr0$0ft s0 u'll g3T m0dd3d UP!!! Lun1X T0rV@ld1s si teh MADMAN!!!1!

  9. Tech report by October_30th · · Score: 5, Funny

    Heh. Such a typical government tech report. No pics, just text and tables.

    --
    The owls are not what they seem
  10. Actually the real url is by hsmith · · Score: 2, Funny

    http://www.nsa.gov/snac/support/WORMPAPER.pdf.exe

    But it is good to see the government is adopting some standards that are actually useful. but who wants to guess how much this cost them and how much it should have really cost?

  11. I Kind of Wish by Greyfox · · Score: 5, Funny
    They'd examined a few more Linux worms. They've looked at like 30 Windows worms and just one Linux worm, which exploited a Bind hole that's been known about and patched for years now. I mean, I know Windows has way more desktops installed so it should get the most scrutiny, but they could have at least chosen a current Linux worm from the multitude of worms that are out there! For example...

    Um...

    Hmm... Nevermind.

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

    1. Re:I Kind of Wish by daeley · · Score: 3, Funny

      You think you're miffed, all the OS X worms come out a year later and don't even propagate automatically.

      --
      I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
  12. /.ing the NSA!!?!?!! by Monf · · Score: 5, Funny
    I can't believe you /.ed the NSA - http://www.nsa.gov/snac/support/WORMPAPER.pdf

    we're all screwed now...

    --
    Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
  13. Re:my guide to avoiding worms by wildBoar · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ah Antivirus software.

    This is actually the biggest virus I know of. It kills my work machine when I am trying to do anything useful, although I am fine reading /.

  14. Re:my guide to avoiding worms by Eric+Giguere · · Score: 5, Funny

    8) Don't dig into the ground
    9) Step carefully after it rains
    10) Stay away from bait shops
    11) ....
    12) Profit!

    (Sorry, couldn't resist...)

    Eric
    Why the Vioxx recall reduced spam (humor)
  15. Re:Good greif by peacefinder · · Score: 4, Funny

    [...] what average user is auctually going to take the time to read this?

    The average user? No.

    The average manager needing justification before buying new security tools? Heck yeah! The clever ones will append the NSA document to their budget proposals.

    --
    With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter. -- William Lloyd
  16. I really want to see a proper worm anlysis by Timesprout · · Score: 2, Funny

    So, when you start feeling like a worm?

    Do you feel like people are always looking down on you?

    Do you feel segmented and isolated from society?

    Do you worry about cholesterol given you have 8 hearts.

    Are you always this slimy or are you just pleased to see me?

    This is the sort of stuff we really need to know because to borrow the immortal words of that famous philosopher, John Rambo "To survive worm you must become worm".

    --
    Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
    What truth?
    There is no dupe
  17. Re:Using ggv...Digest Version by fshalor · · Score: 2, Funny

    Jeeze man... U type like I do. :)

    --
    -=fshalor ::this post not spellchecked. move along::
  18. Re:my guide to avoiding worms by Errtu76 · · Score: 2, Funny

    *cough* Ramen *cough*

  19. Re:Using ggv...Digest Version by jacksonj04 · · Score: 2, Funny

    My.... eyes. They burn!

    --
    How many people can read hex if only you and dead people can read hex?
  20. Re:my guide to avoiding worms by airConditionedGypsy · · Score: 2, Funny
    Which one user should we allow on our server?

    'root', naturally... just make sure everyone has the password written down in a memorable place.

    --
    I bootleg Fizzy Lifting Drinks.