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AOL to be Split into 4 Units

unsupported writes "AOL is apparently dividing into four units to provide a clear direction for each. The four divisions are as follows: Audience (Advertising, and AOL IM, Moviefon, Mapquest, Netscape.com), Access (dial-up, highspeed), AOL Europe (for the foreigners), and Digital Services (Premium services, phone and music subscription). "

16 of 294 comments (clear)

  1. And when the four parts come together by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They form the lamest robot in the entire universe... AOLtron!

  2. Oh Thank God by samurairas · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was so worried about their financial well being! I'm nearly out of coasters.

  3. Doh! by Zemplar · · Score: 5, Funny

    "AOL is apparently dividing into four units to provide a clear direction for each. The four divisions are as follows: Audience (Advertising, and AOL IM, Moviefon, Mapquest, Netscape.com), Access (dial-up, highspeed), AOL Europe (for the foreigners), and Digital Services (Premium services, phone and music subscription)."

    None of which will regain profitability.

    1. Re:Doh! by afree87 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, I can sure see America Online doing well in Europe.

    2. Re:Doh! by Zemplar · · Score: 5, Funny

      Perhaps they could change thier name to Anti-America Online to improve their European image?

  4. 4 Units? by Thunderstruck · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does this mean I can get four times as many drink-coasters every month? I just moved into a bigger place, so I need some.

    Seriously though, will this provide newfound independence for the Netscape folks, and newfound options for the browsers associated with them? Or will it just be a management shift that has no practical effect on the rest of the world?

    --
    Trying to use sarcasm in text-based forums does not work.
    1. Re:4 Units? by Timesprout · · Score: 4, Funny

      No,each division sending you a CD each month would be just stupid now wouldn't it. Obviously each division will only send a 1/4 segment of a cd to you each month which you can glue toegther to form a coaster at your leisure.

      --
      Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
      What truth?
      There is no dupe
  5. Advertising? by suso · · Score: 4, Funny

    The last thing AOL needs is a focused advertising unit.

  6. Secret Weapon: discs by Man+in+Spandex · · Score: 5, Funny

    and its secret weapon is repeatedly firing fast rotating 30-day trial discs. OH THE HORROR!

    1. Re:Secret Weapon: discs by Guppy06 · · Score: 5, Funny

      "firing fast rotating 30-day trial discs."

      As opposed to firing employees?

  7. Horsemen of the Apocalypse? by mikeophile · · Score: 4, Funny

    My first thought at seeing the headline.

  8. what, no CD Press department? by Val314 · · Score: 5, Funny

    i thought printing & shipping CDs was their main task

  9. Article is incorrect by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The 4 units will be named:
    - Overcharging
    - Limiting/Reducing Quality of Service
    - Cancellation Deflection/Avoidance
    - Demo CD Manufacturing and Distribution

    Not to worry, they will all be guided by AOL's core mission: TO SUCK!

  10. Re:Quick Question... by stienman · · Score: 4, Funny

    AOL probably already operated this way anyway, so what's the big whoop?

    The biggest difference is that all the old infighting and contempt is offical, and can be reported on and monitered since it must cross interdepartmental divisions. Previously it was hard to track since it was intradepartemental.

    Wars and power struggles are much more open. Further, it provides a new battlefield - all the commanders welcome this change since the wars were getting rather stale and predictable. Hopefully the new revolution will be streamed.

    -Adam

  11. I care by Bill,+Shooter+of+Bul · · Score: 4, Funny

    You didn't care enough to RTFA, but you cared enough to post telling us how much you don't care. Thus showing us how much you do care. You care enough to not care, but are very passionate about your not caring. You want us to care that you don't care. Or perhaps you want us to care how much you care that you don't care? Well, buddy, I just wanted you to know that I care about wheather you wanted us to care about you not caring or wanted us to care about you caring about not caring. And I hope that everyone else cares about me caring about you either wanting us to care about you not caring or wanting us to care about you caring about you not caring. Just thought I'd write this to let you all know I care.

    --
    Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
  12. Justice At Last? by Gallenod · · Score: 5, Funny

    Apparently prayer does work, as AOL has finally drawn and quartered itself.

    Eventually, it will reduce itself to 64 small startup sized companies, 63 of which will fail. Just what I've always wanted to see: a living example of the DotCom bubble in reverse.

    What's next? Maybe Microsoft will join them in self-dismemberment?

    (Pray early, pray often...)

    --

    TLR

    A man no more knows his destiny than a tea leaf knows the history of the East India Company