Slashdot Mirror
One-Man Star Wars Trilogy Returns to Chicago
FrostyWheaton writes "The One-Man Star Wars Trilogy has returned to Chicago and is playing at the Apollo Theater through February 14th. I was at this show last time it was in Chicago (old Slashdot story) and it was even better this time around. The Apollo theater is much larger than the previous venue providing four times the seating and stage space elminitating the cramped feeling the show had last year. The show has not changed a great deal, but it is slightly expanded, including a few jabs at the latest Star Wars re-working."
He shoots himself first.
So when is George Lucas releasing the special edition?
This is not the East or the West Side!
.... another dark Jedi
No it's not.
This is not the North or the South Side!
No it's not.
It's the DARK SIDE.....
THAT IS CORRECT.
What is thy bidding my master?
It's the disaster Skywalker we're after
But if he could be turned to the dark side
Yes, he's be a powerful ally
HE WILL JOIN US OR DIE
we got DEATH STAR, we got DEATH STAR, we got DEATH STAR, and ya know that we got it, DEATH STAR.....
Luke!Get your ass over here!Quit ridin' around in that damn landspeeder! Where are those two droids you were s'pose to clean up? d'joo clean your room?
uncle owen, I know i'm on probation...
I cleaned the droids, may i go to the Tashi Station?
I got a lay away on the power converter,
but now yer treatin' me like a scruffy nerf-herder
LUKE,use the Force and run!
run to Dagoba, run to Dagoba
LUKE, use the Force and run!
run to Dagoba, run to Dagoba
I'm Yooooooooda
I'm a sooooooldier
[something here i can't understand]
i thought i told ya
don't be unwise, judge me not by my size
you won't believe your eyes, watch the x-wing rise....
Yoda, why are ya bein' a playa hata?
you know that i still must confront Lord Vader!
but Luke..not ready are you
but there's a city in the clouds where they're keepin' my crew
A Jedi's gotta do what a Jedi's gotta do
so now Vader, i'm comin' for you
yeah that's right R-2, I just set a new course
we're goin to Cloud City
mmm, that's a mighty good gin and tonic, why don't you mix me up another?
Impressive, now release your anger
owwwww! why'd you slice off my hand?
It's imperitive that you understand. Obi-Wan would never bother, tellin you about your father
He told me enough. He told me you killed him.
there's something that I must reveal then
I'M your FATHER, I'M your FATHER
I'M YOUR FATHER, I'M YOUR FATHER
knock 'im out the box, Luke, knock 'im down
knock 'im out the box, Luke, knock 'im down
KNOCK 'IM OUT THE BOX
LUKE
(blatantly stolen - sung to Inperial Rhapsody)
LANDO: This is the good life, This is a fantasy
Working on Bespin, An escape from Reality.
LEIA: Open your eyes, Stand up to these guys and
see.
LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy, Cuz who's my dad, I dunno R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH!
I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family.
Spare him this life of such mundacity!
HAN: Spice'll come,
spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
JABBA: Bo shuda! (NO, we will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NO LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for meeeee, for meeeeee, for
MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Stormtroopers start headbanging)
LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine?
But you cut my hand off and left me to die!
Oh Vader, can't do this to me, Vader.
I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.
OBIWAN: May the Force be with you.
Use the Force to see.
May the Force be with you,
May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaays.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to meeeeeeee.
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds.There upon the rainbow is the answer to a neverending story