Metered HTTP Proxy?

Jon asks: "My brother-in-law has three teenage daughters. The only thing that he has to hold over their head is being online. I am trying to find him an HTTP proxy server that has metering built in. I started with Squid which has the authentication stuff in it but we would like something where we could allocate minutes, like some of the WiFi stuff you encounter at a hot spot."

Comments

Occam's Razor

[Jah-Wren Ryel]

My brother-in-law has three teenage daughters. The only thing that he has to hold over their head is being online.

I don't think so. There are a lot simpler carrots and sticks available, in order of decreasing importance to the average teenage girl:

1) Telephone privs - no cell phone for you
2) Grounding - no hanging out at the mall for you
3) Allowance - no buying the latest MTV-hyped fad product for you
4) Television privs - no watching MTV-hyped commercials-as-content for you
5) Driving privs - no freedom to move about for you
6) Food - no bulemia practice for you

Why?

[miyako]

I realize that parents don't want their kid on the internet all the time, and like to encourage other acitivities, but why resort to something like this? It seems to me that the better idea would be to actually talk to the kids when it seems like they've been spending too much time online. Arbitrary rules like this only make kids see parents as a rival, and rules like this as something to try to get around, intstead of a reasonable guideline from people with more life experience.

Re:Why?

[miyako]

I guess it depends a lot on the kid, there is no one size fits all style of parenting. I have to admit I have no experience with having kids, having quite recently been one myself, however I have the following experience to share:
My parents divorced when I was very young, and shareed equal custody. They both had very different parenting styles. My father was very strict, trying to micro-manage every aspect of my and my step-siblings lives. We were allowed 20 minutes a day on the computer, not one second left. We were allowed exactly 3 phone calls a night, each one up to 10 minutes in length, not one second over. We were not allowed to talk to anyone on the phone, visit and internet sites, or read any books without his review and approval. The list goes on.
My mother, on the other hand, took a much more "live and let live" style of parenting. If I wanted to do something, then I did it, and if I made a bad decision then I had to deal with the consequences, she was there to help guide me and to grow up and find my own sence of what was right and wrong, and to learn the difference between good and bad decisions, but she left it up to me in the end. If I wanted to watch some violent or sex filled movie, or play some violent video game, or read some edgy book, then I could- of course she was also there to talk to me about it and provide a context for what I was seeing.
Of course, when I was with my father I never cared about his rules, other than as something to get around. When I was with my mom on the other hand, I genuinely tried to make decisions that would not dissapoint her. Sure if I were talking on the phone for a minute longer than I was supposed to at my fathers I would be grounded for a month, and I think I could have gotten arrested and my mother wouldn't have done anything other than have a talk with me, but I cared that my mother was dissapointed in me, and that's what made the difference.
Sure I might have developed a few bad habbits because my mom would let me do what I wanted, but in the end I think that I am much better off for her style of parenting.

Re:"The only thing..."

[stienman]

He could try (drum-roll please) treating his daughters like human beings.

I'm glad we have such an expert on how to treat people like human beings.

So please enlighten us. How is limiting access to the internet to a reasonable amount of time (depending on the PARENT's standards/values/beliefs) not treating them like human beings?

If your child sat in front of the TV every waking moment they weren't forced to do something else, you would, I hope, limit their access. It's the same situation with computers in many cases. It's interactive, and possible to do many different things with the computer where the TV may be more limited, but if they're on the computer 8 hours a day and you don't consider it a problem then it will become a huge problem for them later in life.

Guaranteed.

As far as using the internet as a 'carrot', what about that do you really object to? Do you believe that children always make good choices with no parental influence? Do you believe choices children make don't affect their entire life? I certianly believe in letting them make their own decisions, but I'm going to curb them if they start going down a path I disagree strongly with, and I'll especially block them as much as possible if they start making decisions which will change their lives in a bad way.

Some decisions, made as children, have major lifelong consequences. It's better, in my opinion (and far easier!), to have lots of little nudges in the right direction constantly than to try to force several huge changes occasionally.

Personnally I prefer the carrot approach, rather than the stick, in helping my children make good choices.

Lastly, are you suggesting that animal mistreatment is acceptable? Why would you suggest that instead of parenting classes, if you honestly thought there was a problem?

-Adam