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Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards

Posted by michael on from the real-soon-now dept.

l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."

13 of 406 comments (clear)

  1. Where? by AtariAmarok · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where's my Atari 1450 XLD? Still waiting....

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    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  2. Sarge by gihan_ripper · · Score: 4, Funny

    Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.

    (But I still want it now!)

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    Phoenix, Boston, Little Rock, see a pattern?
  3. Bah! by OECD · · Score: 4, Funny

    They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!

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    One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
    1. Re:Bah! by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Funny
      They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!


      No. Honestly. A friend works work them and he assures me they'll be handing out the awards real soon now. ;-)

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      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  4. Re:My favorite quote: by Omega · · Score: 4, Funny
    My favorite is:
    Microsoft's successor to Windows XP was originally promised to ship in 2004, though the company subsequently pushed the launch date to 3015 or something. Obviously, Microsoft won't be able to finish the code until it's had a peek at Apple's forthcoming Tiger.
    Ahh, saying what we're all thinking... :)
  5. Irony by patonw · · Score: 5, Funny

    Would anyone find it ironic if Wired hyped their vaporware awards for an entire year and didn't come out with one that year?

  6. Re:Elite 4 by sootman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Skipping 4 might not be enough--Windows went from 3 to 95, just to be extra-extra safe, and look where it got them. They didn't make any real progress until they skipped 99 through 1999.

    After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)

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  7. My favorite piece of vaporware by mcc · · Score: 5, Funny

    is the second coming of Jesus Christ.

    1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.

    What the fuck?

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    Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
    1. Re:My favorite piece of vaporware by Citizen+of+Earth · · Score: 5, Funny

      early Christians all believed the coming of Christ would be immediate, this is actually explicitly refuted in the Bible in II Thessalonians 2:1-3.

      Even more clearly, Futurama 1:12 clearly states that the second coming of Jesus will be in 2443 (though apparently he will be a Zombie).

  8. Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? by AviLazar · · Score: 4, Funny

    but what if nobody wants to buy it? Is it still vapor ware or is it considered shitty ware?

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    I mod down so you can mod up. Your welcome.
  9. Re:Elite 4 by panaceaa · · Score: 4, Funny

    No no, you have it all wrong. In 2003 they jumped to a base-1305 system. XP actually stands for 31338. Yes, that's right: it's beyond elite.

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    my blog
  10. Re:Elite 4 by panaceaa · · Score: 4, Funny

    My math was wrong. XP base 1305 is 31336. It's not even elite :(.

    That's it, I'm switching to Linux.

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    my blog
  11. Intel lower on list than Apple? by revscat · · Score: 4, Funny

    9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz

    Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8....

    8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz

    Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.

    Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?

    Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.

    Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.