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Disney Plans Tron Remake
blkmagic writes "Sci Fi Wire is reporting that Disney will remake Tron. The original article was in Variety, but requires a pay subscription, unless you want to sign up for a 14-day free trial. The article didn't mention what stage they're at, but sounds like they're changing the story a bit (surprise). I loved the original when I was younger (and still watch it again once in a while), so I don't know how I feel about this one!"
I don't like to think of myself as a snob, but I was tech savvy enough back at that time that the dumbing of computer terms (and the preposterous fantasy) tried my patience. The graphic effects were good, but that was about all there was for me to enjoy about the flik. So let's speculate about what could be put into such a remake of the film...
Worms and Virii infest the computer and are blasted with some McAfee ray
An evil spam king is sentenced to /dev/null until 0>1
The conceptual depiction of Microsoft Windows security is a hole Rama could pass through with a defaced tin sign by the entrance saying [UNAuthorized Proceses Only Beyond This Point]
Dee Arrum is a cute, cuddly Pooh-bearish creature who befriends the intrepid party and only wants what is best for everyone
Bugs will only be the result of users installing unathorised software
The central processor will have a huge ice pack on its head and complain of constant overclocking pains
Plugs for Disney partners will be throughout (i.e. Intel Inside)
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
I think this is an excellent idea, another example of Disney's new groundbreaking philosophy. A groundbreaking... sequel. Get Eddie Murhpy in to do some voices, add a breakfast cereal tie-in, a trailer that only airs in front of one of their other loser movies, a McDonald's meal toy, and you're well on your way to a Disney classic!
Almost forgot, better hire Pixar to do the actual movie itself, Disney only does cross-promotional advertising now...
"Hey, this Frisbee brand disc really gives me the game I need to win! All kids should have one of these!"
"This re-engergizing river takes just like crisp refreshing Sprite!"
"Back home, I had a game on my Microsoft X-Box 2 that was just like this Tron bike race!"
Hey, Disney, lay off for a while, so our kids can grow up!
-- Microsoft is the most expensive commodity operating system and office suite vendor in the marketplace.
For those that don't know, the film was named after the computer command 'Trace on' (as opposed to Troff).
Looking at the current situation, will Disney call it Pr0n?
The evil Computer P1R473Z are downloading the system's IP. Now, the brave and bold hero must digitize himself and take on the P1R473Z on their own turf. Without his lawyers, armed with only spam and pluck, our hero must contend with giant P2P tanks which shoot torrets of bits. Can our hero stop them before innocent set-builders and writers lose their jobs due to IP theft?
These days, it may seem that Disney is nothing but crap merchants, but they used to have a quality period. Back in the days of The Black Hole, and The Barefoot Executive, Disney was known for quality dialog and compelling drama. A remake of Tron promises to rekindle the spirit of Disney quality in a whole new generation.
Sure, this is a movie, but you get the point.
English is easier said than done.
Tron Reloaded?
If i recall correctly the main problem faced by Tron was to defeat the dreaded MCP(Master Control Program). In Tron 2 or Tron "reloaded" as i will call it, tron will be faced with a new evil... The MCP(Microsoft Certified Professional). with his minimum salary being 60k + a year with no exp. he will be tough to stop!
When the credits list Clippy as a co-star you know we're in trouble:
"It looks like you're trying to stop the evil chess program, would you like to..."
I wonder if he'll be voiced by the same guy that did Jar-Jar.
-Matt
--- Need web hosting?
The possibility for product placements is unimaginable.
"Doc, I've been having big headaches ever since my computer tried to suck me in and I smacked into ZoneAlarm. I immediately turned around, phoned a Gateway rep, and while very helpful, said I should talk to Verizon about the rogue worm that sucks people into mainframes. I mean, you can only imagine if I'd ended up in a Windows 2003 cluster. Thank goodness Cisco routers stand as a line of defense between me and the electroworld, dominated by evil Open Source communists."
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
And don't forget a heroine who's a)drop dead gorgeous, b) possessed of a massive rack, and c) has at least one dead parent.
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
The plot of Tron revolved around a monolithic corporate entity that absorbed intellectual property from sources all over the world, protected itself with a restrive and overpowered security model subject to hackers, destroyed the creative spirit of individuals, and twisted the vision of its creators to suit its own ends.
If there's a studio more qualified than Disney to write that story, I don't know who it is.
How dazzlingly creative. Someone else decides to twist an 80's classic (Battlestar Galactica) into cheap, 15 year old D&D addict eye candy, so now Disney feels envious and does the same. We're not talking about making the MCP throw the frisbee first here, like the typical George Lucas devilry. We're talking about having Ben Affleck play Flynn. I never thought Tron was a great movie, and the stupid nerd humor is annoying, but there's no chance at all that Disney can fix the past by letting some new screenwriter whose experience with computers includes Word and Outlook re-write the movie. Have you people forgotten already what happened to Planet of the Apes?
There's a 68.71 percent chance you're right.
Cute.
All employees must wash hands before seeking equitable relief.
In the new Tron, the Master Control Program is the good guy, and is besieged by shadowy terrorist pirates who wish to destroy it and replace its rights-management regime with open-source communism.
reboot was a great program, have you played the game? It's installed on many computers, even servers, by default. You need to be root to play it in many cases though