Slashdot Mirror
AI Bots Pick The Hits of Tomorrow
Wolverine Inspector writes "The Music Industry uses a product called HSS (Hit Song Science) made by Spain's Polyphonic HMI. According to The Guardian "while no one's talking about it, it seems that the whole record industry is already using AI to choose hits. From unsigned acts dreaming in their garage, to multinationals such as Sony and Universal, everyone is clandestinely using a new and controversial technology to gain an edge on their competitors."
Even though it costs about $5,200 US/$6,500, many artists are starting to buy it to help them write succesfull songs."
Air Supply and Ashlee Simpson.
No mod points, no meta-moderating/Firehose/all the other free work Slashdot wants me to do.
Art for art's sake is virtually a thing of the past.
Welcome to the age of 'Art for fart's sake'. It's the future!
Free XBox, PS2
The program works by applying the formula. It takes three variables.
Boobs
The artist must have boobs. The larger they are, the higher this value.
Blandness
The blander it is, the higher this value.
Beat
The stronger the beat, the higher this value.
These are multiplied together.
B * B * B = X
If X is greater than or equal to the Olivia Newton-John quotient, a recognized standard throughout the popular music business, the song will be a hit and we release an album.
If X is lower, we don't do one.
Q: Are there a lot of these kinds of artists?
You wouldn't believe.
Q: Which record label to do you work for?
A major one.
Unknown host pong.
Next up: bots that generate pop music.
They already have bots that do that, they call them boy bands. It was supposed to be bot bands, but I think someone in the 80's screwed it up with Menudo, and the name stuck. What are you going to do...
So instead of people blaming the HUGE record industry that produces crap, they can blame a machine! Sounds like a scapegoat to me. Either that, or the record execs are SO STUPID when it comes to music, that they have to get a machine to help them out.
or? I'd say "and"
-- I prefer the term "karma escort."
Here's the algorithm:
potential hitability = visual nudity / melodic complexity
It works great.
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
- The first step in the process for our technologies is to analyze a representative sample of music (up to date we have
- analized more than 1 Million tracks)
Analized? Analized? - what dedication these folks have. Brings tears to my eyes.The label's marketing department are promoting him to the Norah Jones audience. But Polyphonic's analysis has shown that the crooner's song patterns are more similar to Linkin Park, Aerosmith and JayZ.
future HSS developer: You know who I really hate? The record industry.
future HSS collaborator: Well, you should do something about that.
future HSS developer: You're right! Recording execs are really, really, stupid. I bet it'd be easy. I've got a plan.
future HSS collaborator: Sigh... fine, what's your plan?
future HSS developer: They pay us $6000, and we tell them if their song will be a hit or not, then give them some printouts with, you know, clusters of dots on them, random numbers, whatever. Then we say "Artificial intelligence! The magic boxes say this will be a hit because it resembles Tupac Shakur and Wagner!"
future HSS collaborator: You know, unlike your plan to hack people's PVRs to make them think they're gay.... this would actually work. Let's do it. Get me a dartboard.
The good and new comes from no quarter where it is looked for, and is always something different from what is expected.
I just use a bot to listen to the music and tell me if I liked it or not. It mostly says "no", so I assume it's working fine.
An alternative (and cheaper) method is to simply play the song for your 14 years old kid sister. If she likes it it's gonna be a hit.
SIG: TAKE OFF EVERY 'CAPTAIN'!!
This sounds a bit familiar... I think the RIAA stole this idea from Southpark. Cartman dressed up like a robot (AWESOM-O) to get secrets from Butters... but he ended up in Hollywood creating blockbuster movie ideas. Here is how it went down:
...golden retriever, or something. ...boxer, or something. ...Yes, it's flawless!
Mitch: Punch-Drunk Billionaire!
Producer: Gentlemen, this little boy was kind enough to let us show you his robot. The AWESOM-O 4000. [approaches the robot, who's seated at one end of the table] I've already seen what he can do.
Staffer 1: Uh, excuse me sir, but uh, that's not a robot.
Producer: It's not?
Staffer 1: No, it clearly had bipedal movement, so the correct term is "computerized automatron."
Mitch: Oh, very nice, Mitch.
Staffer 2: You are the smart one.
Producer: Well, regardless, I believe maybe this automatron can help us come up with new movie ideas.
Staffer 2: How can a robot come up with better ideas for movies than us?
Producer: Watch this: AWESOM-O, given the current trends of the movie-going public can you come up with an idea for a movie that will break a hundred million box office?
Cartman: Um... okay. How about this: [the staffers take pen to paper and anticipate the ideas] Adam Sandler is like, in love with some girl, but then it turns out that the girl is actually a
Staffer 2: [thinking over this idea, then write it down] Oh, perfect!
Staffer 3: We'll call it "Puppy Love"!
Staffer 2: Give us another movie idea, AWESOM-O!
Mitch: Yeah yeah!
Staffer 3: Let's hear it!
Mitch: Yeah, we wanna hear it!
Staffer 3: Come on, come on!
Cartman: Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler... inherits like, a billion dollars, but first, he has to, like, become a
Staffer 3: [the producers start writing again]
90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
Does this remind anyone of the Monty Python skit where they use mathematicians to create the world's funniest joke, and use it to get Nazis to die laughing?
No - It's a new article created by examining popular past articles and generating an article which is statistically similar to the great slashdot articles of the past.
It's also sure to farther drown out any ammount of creativity and innovation left in the music industry.
My god man, do you have ANY idea how much water that would require?!?!?!?
With the amount of our precious natural resources you propose using to drown out the remaining creativity from the music biz, I could rinse out my coffee cup.
Mmm, coffee...
*wanders down the hall*
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
- girl (the more titties the better)
while there are rare exceptions (total recall springs to mind) most movies i have seen only feature girls with 2 'titties'.
If I don't put anything here, will anyone recognize me anymore?
Maybe the RIAA has decided that, since we've all downloaded the *good* music, they're just going to create crappy pop syrup that no person with two ears will want on his hard drive. If they put enough Ashlee Simpson records out, eventually the downloaders will give up looking new music, and the industry can go back to overcharging for silver platters with decent music.
Secret Industry Memo
From: RIAA
To: All artists
Don't forget- Every time a crappy song is played on the radio, a downloader goes to hell. So record CRAP!
With some AI in there, the music industry can finally claim to have some intelligence.