Slashdot Mirror
Spammers Sue Spamee
sebFlyte writes "In an interesting take on the law, some (alleged) spammers are suing some poor chap who got them blocked by ISPs due to the fact they kept sending him spam. According to Spamhaus the company doing the suing is on their books as spammer, and also as a spyware company... If this case goes the wrong way, things could get very sticky for anyone wanting to report spam."
WARS
Episode V
The Spammer Strikes Back
It is a dark time for the Internet. Although Spamford Wallace has been shut down, Atriks spammers have driven the irate users from their inboxes and pursued them into court.
Evading the dreaded Distributed Mail Corporation, a group of freedom fighters led by Jay Stuler has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Ohio.
The evil lord Darth Haberstroh, obsessed with harassing young Stuler, has dispatched thousands of spambots into the far reaches of the Internet...
How am I supposed to fit a pithy, relevant quote into 120 characters?
Damn, I better take that No Junk Mail sticker off my mailbox. I hear the Post Office has some mean ass lawyers.
It's called "can" spam for a reason.
I can go you one better...
One drunken evening a year or so ago I absolutely lost my cool when I came home to a deluge of spam that was bigger than I had ever seen. After dutifully reporting each and every one of them to Spamcop I stumbled across one particular email that was sent by/for a business that was stupid enough to use their 800# in the body of the mail. My evil mind went to work, and after a few minutes of scripting in my head the following conversation (as far as I can remember it) ensued.
[ring ring]
Thank you for calling XXX, my name is Kathy, how can I help you? Me: (using the biggest, dumbest, drive-time DJ voice I can muster): KATHY! HOW ARE YOU?! You're lucky listener number 20 tonight! Are you feeling lucky? Are you?
K: Wha...? Who is th- DJ: Kathy! You listen to Brian and Bob in the mornings on Z-101, right? K: Umm... yeah! (Who's gonna get a call like that and say no, hm?) DJ: So here's the story Kathy - we got your name from some of your co-workers and entered it into our big contest drawing this month, and...
(uncomfortably long pause...)
K: And wha-? DJ: AND YOUR NAME CAME UP IN OUR 80'S ROCK TRIVIA CHALLENGE, KATHY! ARE YOU EXCITED?! K: Oh yeah, what are we-? DJ: Kathy? K: Yeah?
DJ: ARE YOU READY TO WIN $50,000 DOLLARS?!
(pause)
K: ARE YOU SERIOU-? DJ: We're ABSOLUTELY serious, Kathy! You are exactly ONE question away from winning FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!
(at this point, I knew I had her. I could hear her cup the phone with her hand and start yelling at what had to be an entire office full of people.)
DJ: Kathy? Are you ready? Get the men and women at work with you to help out!
K: Sure!
(she was hyperventilating at this point)
DJ: Kathy, here's what we want to know...
(another uncomfortable pause)
DJ: For fifty thousand dollars...
(yet another pause, during which I heard the sound of ten different computers firing up Google in anticipation...)
DJ: What one-hit-wonder from the mid-80's was notable for their lead singer's visible physical deformity?!
(sheer, dead silence for a moment that lasted forever)
K: What WHAT?
DJ: TEN SECONDS!!
(at this point, she freaked. she tried to cover the phone and missed, and as I loudly counted down from ten to one I heard an entire office simultaneously melt down. "One-hit WHAT?! DEFORMITY? WHAT THE...!?"
DJ: THREE! TWO!
K: OH MY G-!
DJ: ONE! OH, NO! You JUST missed it, Kathy! Fifty thousand dollars, and you JUST didn't get it. It's too bad, too - I gave you SUCH a hint!
K: You WHAT? Hint? WHAT TH-?
DJ: Oh, Kathy - I practically gave it to you. I told you to get some help from the women... and MEN AT WORK! It was Men at Work, and you must be feeling really stupid right now not remembering Colin Hay and that freaky wandering eyeball he has! Remember that eye? Of course you do! You must be feeling so stupid right now!
(at this point my roommate, who's been watching the entire affair in bugeyed amazement, chimes in with "So FUCKING stupid!!" loud enough for her to hear it. I nearly had an aneurysm...)
DJ: Yeah, that was Bob... he calls 'em like he sees 'em. How you feeling, Kathy?
(it's at this point that I'm pretty sure I earned myself a warm spot in Hell, because she sounded like she was about to be sick...)
K: Oh God, I was so c...
(and if I wasn't going to Hell yet...)
DJ: But don't forget, Kathy - there's only one other person on our mega prize list today, and if they miss the Trivia Challenge question too, the money is YOURS!!
K: Are you SERIOUS?!
DJ: I'm DEAD serious, Kathy! Before the day is out you just might have that money! But remember, you have to get to the phone within two rings - so stay close to the phone and answer with our slogan! "Brian and Bob rock me HARD!" Can you do it now?
K: Bri... um, Brian and Bob rock me HARD!!
DJ: Excellent, Kathy! So remember, a