Slashdot Mirror
Robert Zemeckis to Direct Beowulf Movie
jangobongo writes "Robert Zemeckis, who directed the Polar Express and Back To The Future among many others, will helm a new remake of the epic tale of Beowulf. Sony Pictures is in discussions to distribute the picture. (This version is unrelated to another remake scheduled to be released in 2005 titled Beowulf & Grendel, which is currently in post-production.)" I have no idea which version will make for a better film, but this one has Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary writing the script for it as well.
That sounds like the beginnings of a cluster!
*ducks*
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Now Dan Rydel can finally say that he's seen the Beowulf movie and mean it.
Casey: "There's no movie of Beowulf."
Dan: "Then what the heck movie did I see?"
There they were, sitting in the van with all those dials, and the cat was dead. -V. Marchetti, CIA
Featuring songs including:
"Gonna kill me some dead beast."
"I'm a monster, but I'm a human, too!"
"This is a long ass poem."
"Yes, that is a sword in my pocket, but I'll also glad to see you."
"Epic? I'll show you epic!"
...a modern remake of this epic tale!
;-)
What, expecting me to say something else?
Grendel is an unfinished Java-based mail client.
http://www.mozilla.org/projects/grendel/
Will it be done in Anglo-Saxon, or in that sucky post-Norman dialect?
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
Proof that the only idea that still exists in movie-making is 'Let's drag X up and recycle it.' I predict the Beowulf movies will be at least as good as Troy and Alexander.
'Sparrow.'
But those hollywood execs are just working for our best interest! Good story, it just needs a little "punching up" - you know, a few car chases, explosions, and maybe a wise-cracking robot! People like that.
Yeah, just imagine it!
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
There's a lot of them. It's like an entire cluster of movies.
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
Will it include honey nut clusters or just them weird computer-thingy-ma-jiggy ones? We don't want to confuse the public with their breakfast and spyware infested super networks now do we?
I like muppets.
There is no possible way that they can make this movie as bad as the 1999 version.
There are a lot of really bad movies out there, it's true. Most of the moderately bad ones are boring; the truly terrible ones actually end up being fun to watch simply because they're such absolute crap. When they premiered the infamous "Manos: The Hands of Fate," the audience actually laughed uproariously.
But there is no redemption for the '99 Beowulf.
Imagine it.... Sitting there for two hours, unable to divert your gaze from the putridly pointless hellspawn on the screen before you. Your very soul, wrapped in a straitjacket with a crappy techno soundtrack, screams in vain for help -- and yet nobody will help you. Nobody will help you!!!
YOU CAN FEEL YOUR BRAIN MELTING AND DRIBBLING OUT AROUND YOUR TERRIFIED EYEBALLS!!!!!
Watching Beowulf '99 is much like being lobotomized.... one brain cell at a time. If Hollywood EVER outdoes that despicable feat, I'll wear a cowboy hat and then eat it.
the Mel Brooks version!
This sig seemed like a good idea at the time....
Yes! And they should name it
The Passion Of the Beowulf.
Damnit! Now you've got me itching to read his shopping lists!
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
So. We have seen many a slashdotter
Grieve and grumble greatly over films.
"Classics ruined!" they clamor. "Memories killed!" they cry.
Should Greedo shoot first? Surely nay.
Why then should they not whimper and whine
When they hear this horror, a Beowulf film!
Scyld Scefing? Shield Sheafson? Sam Soros?
Which woeful name for the screen will be chosen?
Michael Crichton told a tale once;
The movie was made, many watched.
Sadly it sucked. Sigh.
English is easier said than done.