Slashdot Mirror
Colocate Your Mac mini
Pfhreak writes "Pure Static is already offering a service to colocate your Mac mini into a rack for those who want to set up a server on the cheap. Unfortunately, according to their FAQ, they're not planning on creating a Mini supercomputer. Which could be good news for those of you that are working towards being the first to set up such a cluster who have purchased a couple pallets of Minis, but haven't had time to finish setting up the cluster."
SEATTLE, Washington January 24, 2005. On the heels of Apple's announcement that they have begun shipping their new MacMini hardware, and purestatic.com's equally useless announcement of MacMinicolocation.com, Thomas Kepler today announced BeigeG3OnAShelf.com, a new (old) Mac OS X-based web hosting service that does not use Apple's Xserve rack-mount server hardware, or even Mac Minis, but instead uses a cheap Beige G3 machine sitting on a shelf somewhere, connected to a DSL line. Hosting packages are designed to offer cheap-ass level solutions on the Mac OS X platform, and at the same time offer resellers the most uncompetetive pricing in the industry.
"We thought macminiservers.com & purestatic were pretty stupid to build their entire service offering around a stupid, underpriced consumer machine," exclaimed
Thomas Kepler, chief Internet systems technology nuclear physics engineer for BeigeG3OnAShelf.com. "If those nuts thinks he can actually provide affordable hosting while replacing overheated machines every week, they're absolutely insane. While mySQL and (a pirated copy of) Lasso Professional 5 indeed lower the pricing barriers, using an even MORE cheap ass machine would allow me to undercut his prices substantially. But instead, I'll raise my prices and bill my offering as a Premium Service. Meanwhile, they'll be lucky to break even...but that rack/condo sure does look nice."
"My facilities beat his condo anyday," added Kepler.
BeigeG3OnAShelf.com can not only accommodate Mac web developers who use the industry standard PHP scripting language, but also Blue World's Lasso 5 Professional - and soon (not really) ColdFusion MX - to tie into MySQL database software to deploy dynamic web applications. "Of course, most Mac web developers are too dense to use any of this technology. This allows our customers to develop on literally any platform they have at home or in their office - Linux, Windows, UNIX or Mac, then simply upload the files, and then simply have absolutely no clue why nothing works."
Currently BeigeG3OnAShelf.com is offering an early signup program, which will qualify the customer for special pre-launch pricing (not really) and early notification of the service when it goes live. This signup program will also allow us time to purchase (or steal) a cheap Beige G3, find a shelf, and wait for our DSL connection to be installed. More importantly, it will provide BeigeG3OnAShelf.com with an excellent oppurtunity to exploit personal information and hopefully illegitimately charge mink coats to the credit cards of potential customers.
Thomas Kepler has been connecting databases to the Internet since 1997, and it clearly shows in his lack of a coherent thought process. When he noticed an excellent oppurtunity to rob people blind legally, he created BeigeG3OnAShelf.com.