New Standard Keyboard

An anonymous reader writes "There are two keyboard standards today - QWERTY and DVORAK. QWERTY, the one we usually have, was used on the first commercially produced typewriter in 1873. Ironically, QWERTY was actually designed to slow down the typist to prevent jamming the keys, and we've been stuck with that layout since. New Standard Keyboards offers new "alphabetical" keyboard. This keyboard has just 53-keys (instead of 101) and offers user-friendly benefits and quick data entry."

Comments

Origins of the new keyboard

[Indy Media Watch]

The new keyboard layout was designed such that computer salesmen of poor typing skills could type TUBGIRL with one hand, all along the same row of letters.

Unfortunately this did not stop the keys getting sticky.

where's the space bar?

[Neo-Rio-101]

Have you seen this thing? Since when did FisherPrice start making keyboards?

And where's the space bar?!

Re:Horrible, just horrible

[Skidge]

Heh, I had a problem one day where I had to type in my ATM PIN using an AT-keyboard style number pad that was on a card swiper. I could not for the life of me remember what the PIN was, because the number pad was upside down compared to the one on the ATM. My PIN seemed to be stored in muscle memory rather than brain memory. My friends were disappointed when I came out of the liquor store empty handed. :)

spacebar

[ArmorFiend]

Where's the spacebar? Dude, if I can't hit the spacebar reliably with my FOREHEAD, then I'm not interested!

Re:And there's....

[complete loony]

Perfect for all those times you want to write "Dont read this plum". Yeah that happens to me all the time.

Re:Ironically, that story isn't true

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

I ldve kearniny ti typo wuth Dvosak!

Re:this will not fly

[myowntrueself]

'> It is compatible with all systems running Microsoft Windows 95 and above.
And this is called "Standard Keyboard"?'

'And above'.

So it'll work on Linux or OSX but not DOS, right?

Who needs 53 keys?

[craXORjack]

I only need 28. I use vi.

Re:Who needs 53 keys?

[nyri]

I use vim almost exclusively. Most people use either vim or elvis symlinked from vi and don't know it, although vi is its own program. I can come up with 26 letters [a-z], 10 numbers [0-9], shift (gotta hit that "!" you know), escape and colon. Then we can't forget / for the searches and replaces, \ to be able to match special characters, and newbies will want the arrow keys instead of h, j, k and i.

Your humor isn't lost on me, but a seasoned vi user will use at least 41 keys, 45 for the inexperienced. The other 8 must be for Emacs.

You must be one those perl monkeys. Otherwise you would need space and return keys.

Re:wrong

[ari_j]

And quadruple-bucky-shift-left-foot-cokebottle is the shortcut that does a cvs download of the Hurd, finishes the unfinished parts, and prepares it for release.

Some friends and I were actually going to make a footboard once, not that long ago, to move all the modifier keys to the floor. We figure that, if a church organist can play scales with her feet, we could speed up our typing significantly by never having to use two finger simultaneously by way of our feet doing that part of the job.

Re:Horrible, just horrible

[Tablizer]

I had a problem one day where I had to type in my ATM PIN using an AT-keyboard style number pad that was on a card swiper. I could not for the life of me remember what the PIN was, because the number pad was upside down..... My friends were disappointed when I came out of the liquor store empty handed.

Just have your buddies hold you upside down. It is a liquor store, so nobody will give such odd behavior a second thought.

Pirate keyboard

[trenton]

53 keys? Still too many. What you need is the full featured pirate keyboard which has only 6 keys! Bad ass design, if you ask me.

Finally!

[Physics Dude]

Finally! A keyboard to match the Look-and-Feel of Windows XP! ;)

Re:wrong

[QMO]

I had a foot pedal for my computer, once.
But then I called tech support and they told me that it was the mouse.