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Nanotech Brings Battery Life Extender for Mobiles
An anonymous user writes "Using latest nanotechnology research, BatMax developed the first cellphone battery life booster that extends the mobile phone battery life and reduces charging time. BatMax is based on the IonXR, a new exclusively developed nanoceramic material, resulting from years of laboratory research. BatMax foil slows down the loss of capacity of Ni-CD, Ni-MH, Li-Ion and Li-Polymer batteries and thus provides improved battery performance. BatMax is a small (1.14 x 1.92 in) rectangular sticker which is installed on the mobile phone battery. Users just need to attach BatMax to the battery or the cellphone. They claim users will notice a battery life improvement after 5 to 10 charging cycles."
Hopefully this will work with my antenna extender sticker!
Just check the streets of any major city: applying stickers to cars has been shown to improve perceived performance. Why not the same for mobile phones?
Oh come on! This is just stupid. Fuck, if this really works then I'm going to stick on of these to my forehead. Should boost my brain and result better performance with my projects.
can anyone think of something commonplace, that at the time seemed like total utter snake-oil lubed bullshit?
"They will welcome us."
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
what about another battery?
with a herbal nanotech sticker.
Also increases the volume of - oh, that makes sense
In a 2002 clinical test, I applied BatMax IonXR stickers to all surfaces (dorsal, ventral, anterior, posterior) of my grandmother. Laboratory results were the following: 1) her life was extended by 25 years 2) she bakes pies 36% faster 3) the room generally smells much better, though that might be because she has stopped eating dog food, 4) Grandpa says sex with her is a totally new experience.
"Please push."
FRA: STFU GTFO
It sure sounds like those "parabolic" TV antennas guaranteed to boost your reception after just a few viewings, doesn't it? Not to be cynical, but:
Using latest nanotechnology research, (we read an issue of Wired)
EricBatMax developed the first cellphone battery life booster that extends the mobile phone battery life (which is why we call it a "battery life booster")
and reduces charging time. BatMax is based on the IonXR, a new exclusively developed nanoceramic material, (we grind ceramic tiles into a fine dust)
resulting from years of laboratory research (it was hard to grind them small enough).
BatMax foil slows down the loss of capacity of Ni-CD, Ni-MH, Li-Ion and Li-Polymer batteries (we guarantee it works the same on all of these)
and thus provides improved battery performance (not to be redundant again).
BatMax is a small (1.14 x 1.92 in) rectangular sticker (we sandwich the dust between some sticky aluminum foil)
which is installed on the mobile phone battery (the hard part was keeping it really thin).
Users just need to attach BatMax to the battery or the cellphone (where they'll quickly forget about it once the cover's back on).
They claim users will notice a battery life improvement after 5 to 10 charging cycles (by then the placebo effect should kick in).
The Vioxx recall and spam reduction
In related news, BatMax just announced that they hired CowboyNeal as the new head of their PR department.
quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.
"nanoceramic material extracted from a natural stone"? How stupid do you have to be to believe this kind of thing?
Sounds to me like the answer to this poll actually is CowboyNeal.
-JDF
Yes, it makes sense, but they were hoping nobody would notice the apparent incongruity. See, they also invented a time machine, and have been using it extensively to reduce perceived development time for IonXR. If it weren't for that, we'd have to wait another 10 years before IonXR was available to the public. But they don't want to announce the time machine's existence until they work out the problem with periodic instabilities in the quantum flux ion regeneration matrix that are induced by harmonic interference arising from pico-mesons in the nano-photonic resonance substructure.
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.