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NASA Announces De-Orbit Mission For Hubble
maglor_83 writes "NASA has announced the end for Hubble. It plans on performing a "robotic de-orbit mission", and apparently its not due to the monetary costs associated with fixing it, but rather the risks involved. NASA's new goals are now manned missions to the moon, as a platform for Mars."
I guess its right for once.
WELL, FUCK.
The San Francisco Zoo's new Linux enthusiast, successor to the virile Mac user Mick, is finally spending quality time with his four female companions. But twenty-three years of sexual rejection might have been too much.
Or perhaps it's his unbearable stench, describable only as a mix of skunk and gorilla sweat.
"He's a smelly, disgusting hippie," said Netcraft spokesman Michael Sims.
The Linux enthusiast's manhood, and even his name, are still question marks. Born in a Montana cabin to Richard Stallman and post-op transsexual Erica Raymond, he acquired the name "Zitface" and moved to Silicon Valley in 1982. Five years later, he relocated to Redmond, where he was called "Peyote Ugly." Now he's Zits Galore, or Igor for short. But the 300-pound man could be renamed again at some point.
Whatever he's called, one thing is clear: he's still a virgin at 23, spurned repeatedly by females and society at large.
"You can sort of tell he's inexperienced," Sims said. "He's not as assertive as most men his age would be."
On his first day in captivity, Igor let Robin, a 6-year-old girl, chase him around for five minutes before he collapsed to the ground, wheezing asthmatically and sweating from every oversized pore.
"He's too nice a guy," Sims said. "It might be the problem with why he never bred."
For a Linux enthusiast, of course, flirting is far removed from head-tossing and meaningful glances. Robin's mother, Cindy -- who frequently copulated with Mick, the Mac user, before he revealed his homosexuality last May -- definitely knows how to flirt. But she wasn't getting anywhere with Igor.
She strolled by his computer desk several times, hips swaying and nipples erect, in varying stages of undress. Most men would respond with subtle solicitations -- smalltalk, a compliment, an invitation to dinner. Not Igor. Sometimes he hid his face behind his hands. Or clung to the door of his night quarters. Or began masturbating furiously.
"He's accustomed to females not being interested," Sims said.
Joanne Tanner, a cult-behavioral psychologist from Santa Cruz who has been studying Linux users since 1989, watched as Cindy walked up again to Igor's desk and said hello, prompting Igor to disappear through an arch in a giant rock.
"She's waiting for him to show his masculinity, and he didn't show it," Tanner said. "He thinks she's rejecting him, and she's saying, 'Why doesn't he come on to me?' It would be deflating to her if he weren't such a filthy Linux user."
Sims said Igor knows what sex is. As a youngster, he used to watch Stallman and Raymond in their revolting, sloppy facsimile of lovemaking. "We're hoping he'll get emboldened," Sims said. "It's too early to tell. It will take time to build up his confidence."
Meanwhile, there was finally something arousing Igor's interest. He climbed up on a large rock, assumed a commanding stance and started making grunting noises. He was checking out some spectators, and they were staring back.
Sims wasn't surprised at Igor's turnabout. He pointed to the tray of snacks the spectators had carried from the zoo's food court.
"He's very interested in Doritos," he said.
Actually, if you think about it, while this as a still a lame joke, it's not offtopic, just lame (and, shouldn't Slashdot have "lame" as a mod possibility?). OK, here it is... Hubble is a big _EYE_ with a vision problem, and the Anonymous Coward says "Nothing for you to see here..."
So lame it's funny!
"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!" - Glen Beck
Sadly, not unexpected. All for wars and the mArs pipe dream.
Acquiescence leads to obliteration