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HP CEO Carly Fiorina to Step Down
ewwhite was the first of a tidal wave of readers to submit links telling us that HP Chairwoman and Chief Executive Officer Carly Fiorina will step down, effective immediately.
Chief Financial Officer Robert Wayman will be interim CEO, Hewlett-Packard said in a Business Wire statement today. Patricia Dunn will be chairwoman. Not much else in the story.
There's nothing like a good Corporate shake up first thing in the morning to make you feel good!
:P
Oh, sorry about your job.
Pretty Pictures!
...HP technicians report that the new HP Flying Glider prototype and flight suit are missing, and a lab tech has been found dead. It is rumoured that a cackling evil-looking figure was seen flying around on the missing glider screaming for "revenge".
"Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it." -- Linus Torvalds
HP CEO Carly Fiorina dies, and she goes through the usual process of defending her case in front of the Divine Jury. It is not clear what happens exactly and where things go wrong, but when the jury comes back and the sentence is read, it turns out she is admitted into Heaven. So Carly is filling in the usual paperwork at the HAO's desk (Heaven Admission Officer): non-disclosure agreement, legal disclaimers, non-competition clause, etc...
'Congratulations and welcome to Heaven,' finally says the angel. 'Go down the corridor, first door on your right.'
Carly walks to the door, pushes it open... and staggers back. Through the flames and behind the door, all you can see are countless devils inflicting the most horrible tortures to screaming souls. She rushes back to the Officer and waves her admission pass, breathless. 'Must be an error, this thing here says Heaven!'
'Oh yeah,' says the angel, barely looking up from his/her screen. 'Forgot to tell you... we merged.'
That word makes me think of one thing... FLASHDANCE!
News Reporters Make Tasty Polar Bear Treats!
Ummm, Martha Stewart?
If my answers frighten you, stop asking scary questions.
strongest women in corporate America.
There's a difference between a woman and a bitch who fills cartridges only a quarter full.
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
Oh wait, I actually don't care.
Woo hoo!!! Ding Dong! The witch is dead!
I always save my last mod point to mod up a good troll. You people are too serious.
I work for IBM*, and we quite liked what Carly was doing to HP.
[*As a geek, not a flack, so don't get any silly ideas that IBM agrees with anything I say.]
Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
I just got off the phone with a DEC->Compaq->HP employee. He said they were dancing in the aisles. They don't know who the replacement will be but it can't be worse.
What HP?
The _real_ "HP" is now called "Agilent"!
And I'm sorry, what does a person with a BA in Medieval history have to do with being the CEO of a tech company?
It prepared her well for raping and pillaging the peasants (e.g. employees).
The key sequence to access my Slashdot bookmark in Firefox is Alt-B-S. I don't believe this is a coincidence.