Short History of Cellphone Ringtones

RobotWisdom writes "This week's New Yorker magazine includes an interesting short history of cellphone ringtones, including statistics on their (huge) profitability worldwide. My favorite quote: 'I spent three days of productive work time listening to polyphonic ringtone versions of speed metal, trying to find exactly the ringtone that expressed my personality with enough irony and enough coolness that I could live with it going off ten times a day. In a quiet room, in a meeting, this phone's gonna go off-- what are they going to hear?'"

Comments

A shorter history of ringtones

[ackthpt]

A shorter history of ringtones:

Kewl

Neat

Cute

Distracting

Bothersome

Highly Annoying

Obnoxious

Grating

"Hello, is the proctologist available? I need something removed from somewhere."

coming soon: ringtones with thx 5.1 surround, so everyone can enjoy your taste in interruption melodies!

Re:A shorter history of ringtones

[BubbleDragon]

*shudders* And it's even worse with someone non-technical driving the whole thing.

Last night at a restaurant, a woman in about her late 40s stopped the waitress every time she passed, asking about how to save this, or what's this mean, and "Get this bird off my screen!" Then she proceeded to scroll through every different ring tone possibility at the highest volume for 20 minutes. All the while grinning, and oblivious to the concept that everyone else in the place had adopted a bit of a nervous tick.

And they bitch about my generation being socially inept.

Re:A shorter history of ringtones

[EnronHaliburton2004]

That's when you walk up to the woman and say "Pardon me Miss, but when I was your age we had manners."

and a few seconds later you say "Pardon me Miss, but when I was your age we didn't slap strange people at cafes."

The only ringtone needed EVAR

[Neil Blender]

Vibrate.

Re:The only ringtone needed EVAR

[DrEldarion]

Lies! Clearly the only ringtone ever needed is the song from level one of Super Mario 2. I have yet to hear anyone say anything but "That is AWESOME" when they hear it.

The sound of silence

[spywarearcata.com]

"In a quiet room, in a meeting, this phone's gonna go off--what are they going to hear?"

Among polite people, or, failing that, with a mobile phone jammer enabled--nothing.

Re:The sound of silence

[lukewarmfusion]

At the very most, they might hear my phone's vibration mode.

In college, we used to make a game of calling people in class to see if they remembered to turn their ringers off. Paul lost pretty much every time, rewarding us with a disruptive version of the Notre Dame fight song.

In an important meeting, my phone is on silence mode - no ringer at all. If I didn't do that, I'd never get anything done.

Re:The sound of silence

[sg3000]

> At the very most, they might hear my phone's vibration

My phone is always in vibrate mode, unless it's plugged into a wall charger and stuck on my dresser for the night. I can think of few things more annoying or unprofessional than an obtrusive ring tone.

One person at work I knew believes she is a Very Important Person, but she didn't want to carry her phone on her (too bulky, I assume). So she turned up the ringer to a distinctive song set to its loudest volume and put the damn thing on vibrate. When the phone went off, the cacophony of noises would be accompanied by the phone vibrating so violently that it would start whirling around the desk like a dervish. All conversation would stop as people would stared shocked at her cell phone.

For teenagers, I guess it's fine to use obnoxious ring tones -- it's probably analogous to people of my generation in college having annoying answering machine messages with popular songs or samples from a TV show (ho ho! My answering machine message is George from Seinfeld singing "Believe it or not, George isn't at home") or something.

Re:The sound of silence

[Lumpy]

we have one of those here too. we grabbed her cellphone when she was away and uploaded a ringtone for her (I've got copies of ringtone making software) we changed her ringtone to "HEY LOOK! I'M AN ASS WHO LIKES LOUD RINGS!" said loudly by a co-worker.

after that she stopped leaving her cellphone on her desk.

Meetings...

[darkstar949]

They are going to hear that you have too much time on you hands...

Ringtones are one of the dumbest things to pay for

[hsmith]

I mean, $2-3 a PIECE? who the hell pays that? I am quite content with the standard ringer on my LG. It is a damn phone!

The ringtone craze

[RaguMS]

Seriously, I do not understand the level of popularity that ringtones have acheived - especially considering that they cost money! A cellphone plan costs enough already. I use a preprogrammed ringtone on my Audiovox CDM-4000 phone (1st gen CDMA for anyone unfamiliar with the particular phone), and while it's a bit cheesy I can instantly recognize that this tone is coming from my phone and my phone only - It's been ringing like this for almost 5 years. If I were to change ring tones often, not only would it be time&money consuming but I would also lose that mental 'training' of what my phone sounds like when it rings in a room full of people with ringing cellphones.
Yes, I do know people who have a ring tone for everyone in their phonebook. Perhaps it is useful to them other than being a fashion statement (since caller ID also identifies incoming callers) but is it really worth paying for?

What are they going to hear?

[sulli]

In a quiet room, in a meeting, this phone's gonna go off-- what are they going to hear?

Everyone else hollering "PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE ON VIBRATE!"

Damn I hate ringtones.

Re:What are they going to hear?

[DaveAtFraud]

We keep a copy of a "Dilbert" cartoon from a while ago (7/4/03). The scenes are:

1) Alice hearing somebody's cell phone going off on the other side of the cube wall.
2) Alice glaring at cell phone sitting on work-surface (owner missing).
3) The owner asking Alice if she has seen his cell phone and her responding "Was it metallic, noisy and flushable?"

A copy generally finds its way to the people who leave their phone at their desk. Most people get the hint so we haven't flushed one yet.

Re:What are they going to hear?

[EspoManiac]

Here you are:
http://www.geek.nl/pics/dilbert-arch/dilbert-20030 704.gif

beep

[3.09 a hour]

This is why i use the single beep ringer, its short and functional, and acceptable in all areas. As an added benifit, if you left it on somewhere you shouldn't like school or the movies, one beep could be anything and mos tpeople arn't even sure they heard it.

Ringtone story

[suso]

I was with my wife in a pizza place a few years ago and we happened to be talking about baseball (once in about probably 10 times I've talked about it in my life) and right then the girl's cell phone in the booth next to us goes off and plays "Take me out the ballgame". That was a weird coincidence.

I made my own long and dissonant ringtone for text messages so that it will wake me up at night if a server goes down.

I am baffled.

[bigtallmofo]

From the proliferation of (what I consider to be) annoying ring tones, I really feel alone in the world with my lowly silent setting.

For the life of me, I can not figure out why someone would take the time to set up a custom ringtone - let alone pay for one.

I guess it's the same people that blare their radio in the car with the windows rolled all the way down.

Re:I am baffled.

[SnprBoB86]

"I guess it's the same people that blare their radio in the car with the windows rolled all the way down."

That is an interesting comment...

Personally, I hate ringtones, but I love to rock out real loud with the wind pouring in the windows on a nice fall or spring day.

The difference is that when I get to a red light, I lower the volume.

I guess it's the same people who leave their phone on loud durring a meeting who don't lower their radio when it could be annoying other people.

Vibrate mode

[BeBoxer]

Which is exactly why I have mine set to vibrate mode. The reality is, during a meeting, nobody gives a shit what kind of music I like. Cell phone use is intrusive enough without the addition of "look how cool I am" ring tones.

Just shows how rude some users can be

[ageoffri]

"In a quiet room, in a meeting, this phone's gonna go off-- what are they going to hear?" This attitude really bugs me. If you aren't turning your phone to vibrate/silent only in a meeting, in a movie theater, at a family dinner then you are just flat out rude.

Of course I've got a new one to add to rude cell phone use. In a movie theater if you have a bright screen on your phone, cover it with your hand so it doesn't distract other people.

Though on the good side technology is getting to the point where it can effectively block cell phone signals so since it is obvious people won't police themselves it is only a matter of time before more and more public places like movie theaters block it for them.

I'll take a stab at it

[Swamii]

I spent three days of productive work time listening to polyphonic ringtones...in a meeting, this phone's gonna go off-- what are they going to hear?

"You're fired."

Paying for ringtones?

[retro128]

I refuse to pay for ringtones. You go on these sites and most of them are crap anyway. For the large part they are just sound clips from the latest teen gangsta sensation. And they charge, what, $5 a pop for this garbage?

I have a Motorola v551 which is able to interpret general MIDI files and MP3s. Adding ringtones is as simple as jumping on a MIDI archive or ripping one of my CDs, truncating the song down to the part I want, and transferring them to the phone with the data cable.

Buying ringtones is right up there with paying for pr0n in my book.

Cell Phone

[supe]

I don't have a cell phone you insensitive clods!

My Ideal Cellphone Tone

[Greyfox]

Is a baby crying. It starts out soft, but eventually evolves into a full blown tantrum if the phone isn't answered. Symbolic on so many levels...

I believe that every cellphone on the planet should have just 1 fixed ringtone that cannot be changed. It should be some guy announcing in a loud and obnoxious voice, "LOOK EVERYONE! I HAVE A CELLPHONE AND I'M AN *ASSHOLE*!" Then most people would keep their cellphone on silent and the issue wouldn't ever come up.

Albatross

[linuxwrangler]

Sometimes I feel like John Cleese yelling, "It's f***ing seabird f***ing flavored".

I want my stereo to play music.

I don't need my phone to play a bad rendition of some tune - I want it to ring.

I want my beer to taste like, um, beer - not razzberries, lemons, etc.

Maybe I've become an old coot. But is sure saves me money.

BTW, I selected the "falling rockets" built in ring on my Nokia. Everyone hates that tone (my wife says, "your phone is crying") so I've never heard that ring on another phone. Perfect - I never have to do the "self-frisk" whenever a phone rings.

Re:wow

[tomhudson]

unsuccessfully finding a "free" ringtone website

All you have to do is look at the page source for any of the sites that demo the ring tones (they're usually along the lines of ringtones/poly0010, ringtones/poly0011, ringtones/poly0012 ...). curl and wget are your friends.

I grabbed a couple hundred from a pay site that way, got them to play in xmms, along with selected Weird Al tunes, then plugged the sound card output into the company phone system's "hold" music for a couple of days (took them that long to realize people on hold were getting Neutron Dance or Amish Paradise instead of muzak)...

Re:wow

[plover]

What I don't understand is why people purchase ringtones at all when almost every phone I've dealt with accepts MIDI formatted music of one type or another.

There are websites that have have huge collections of MIDI. There's everything from TV themes to pop music to automated Mozart minuette generators. Grab one, shove it in your phone and begin annoying people immediately. It's just not that hard. $2.00 seems usurious.

This is depressing

[Quiet_Desperation]

I spent three days of productive work time listening to polyphonic ringtone versions of speed metal, trying to find exactly the ringtone that expressed my personality with enough irony and enough coolness that I could live with it going off ten times a day.

Might I suggest "Useful Idiot" by Tool.

In a quiet room, in a meeting, this phone's gonna go off-- what are they going to hear?

Well, in my neck of the woods, if they hear anything other than the gentle buzz of a phone set to vibrate, it'll be the distant sound of your phone shattering into a thousand pieces on the sidewalk four stories below.