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AIM's New Terms Of Service

Posted by CowboyNeal on from the public-knowledge dept.

acaben writes "AOL has posted new terms of service for AIM, that include the right for AOL to use anything and everything you send through AIM in any way they see fit, without informing you. A sample passage: '...by posting Content on an AIM Product, you grant AOL, its parent, affiliates, subsidiaries, assigns, agents and licensees the irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide right to reproduce, display, perform, distribute, adapt and promote this Content in any medium. You waive any right to privacy.'"

30 of 689 comments (clear)

  1. New Terms in A Nutshell by ackthpt · · Score: 1, Funny
    New Terms in A Nutshell All your base are belong to us

    or

    You no get signal!

    (apologies to O'Reilly)

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
    1. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      More like All your Rights are belong to us

    2. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by nofx_3 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm going to have to send the up the bomb then...

      -kaplanfx

      --
      Visualize Whirled Peas
    3. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by Beardydog · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, you fool! You'll just give AOL, its parent, affiliates, subsidiaries, assigns, agents and licensees the irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide right to reproduce, display, perform, distribute, adapt and promote the bomb as they see fit!

    4. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      You had better stop worrying and learn to love the bomb, then!

    5. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by identity0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, the new terms are:

      "Remember, it's not rape if you click 'yes'".

      : )

    6. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by crucini · · Score: 2, Funny
      Also...I fail to see how using Freenet to share the lastest movie would somehow make it 'legal'.
      That's simple. It's impossible to actually get content from Freenet. Once you grant the impossible the improbable looks feasible by comparison.
    7. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by simcop2387 · · Score: 2, Funny

      just because there is no one there to hear the tree does not mean that it does not make a sound

    8. Re:New Terms in A Nutshell by myowntrueself · · Score: 2, Funny

      "You had better stop worrying and learn to love the bomb, then!"

      But first we will need many large-breasted women.

      --
      In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
  2. Fine, then by cerberus4696 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I suppose if they want the rights to some irreversibly encrypted garbage, they can go right ahead.

    1. Re:Fine, then by ackthpt · · Score: 5, Funny
      I suppose if they want the rights to some irreversibly encrypted garbage, they can go right ahead.

      UUEncode Windows and send it to yourself over AIM.

      Let Microsoft and AOL club each other to death :-)

      --

      A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
    2. Re:Fine, then by MagicDude · · Score: 4, Funny

      AOL users already incrypt all their transmissions. Take the simple sentence "Hey dude. What are you doing later? I was thinking we should go to the mall." which becomes incrypted as:

      HEY DUDE11!!!1 OMG WUT R U DONG L8R????!?? LOL I WAS THINKNG W3 SHUD GO 2 DA MAL!!1!1!11 WTF LOL

      Damned if I can decrypt that

    3. Re:Fine, then by arose · · Score: 2, Funny

      i'm sorry, but the riaa replaced my shift keys with sharp needles1

      --
      Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
    4. Re:Fine, then by eis271828 · · Score: 2, Funny

      They don't need to decrypt it. They have the right to adapt it. They don't specify to what extent they may adapt it. I think I'll join their workforce and adapt my political enemies' "H@*(FD428yS*@Hs98s(@" to "I hate babies."

  3. New "reality tv"? by Mad+Merlin · · Score: 5, Funny

    Perhaps we're about to see AOL/Time Warner roll out a new tv show... When 12 year old girls chat to each other over AIM - Uncut and Raw!

    --
    Game! - Where the stick is mightier than the sword!
    1. Re:New "reality tv"? by sTalking_Goat · · Score: 4, Funny

      The FBI might have a problem with the conversations of their Special Agen...um... 12 year old girls, being broadcasted on late night cable.

      --

      My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle...

  4. Re:I use Trillian... by sjbcfh · · Score: 5, Funny
    So to AOL: I say this much, exploit fjkd;arjaiwor398u233209u''rju98e32 any way you want guys!

    "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."?

  5. No encryption necessary by EvanED · · Score: 5, Funny

    99% of what goes over AIM is garbage anyway.

    (I know, I produce a lot of it)

  6. Solution by Lord+Kano · · Score: 2, Funny

    ROT 13 and DMCA them if they UN rot it.

    LK

    --
    "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
  7. Re:AIM isn't secure anymore? by rob_squared · · Score: 2, Funny
    " Well now what will I use to transmit all of my sensitive information? :("

    Very well-crafted paper airplanes.

    --
    I don't get it.
  8. Interpretive Dance by Esion+Modnar · · Score: 2, Funny
    So they could perform your AIM chat session in Times Square, or maybe even... Your AIM Chat Session! On Ice!

    Hey, how about getting that guy, whathisname, the one did that thing in Central Park, to interpret your chat session in plastic sheeting or whatever, like a big condom over the Empire State.

    Free association really sometimes scares me...

    --

    They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
  9. AOBlackMAIL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Customer: Yes, hello i would like to cancel my account.

    Representative: Sure that will be fine. what's you account screenname?

    Customer: DumbGuy05

    Representative: There seems to be a problem with that account.

    Customer: Oh really ,like what?

    Representative: We have been monitoring your instant messages and discovered you are evading taxes, having sex with a minor, smoking pot, and constantly visit something called tubgirl. Please continue being a paying customer or we will have to report you.

    Customer: Oh thank you AOL is the best!

  10. Could be worse, could be Gaim on a MAC by kurt555gs · · Score: 2, Funny

    Some one here on slashdot aptly said, GTK on OS X is like putting Janet Reno in Playboy.

    --
    * Carthago Delenda Est *
  11. Re:Third Party Clients by emrysk · · Score: 2, Funny
    "Also, I wonder how this will bode for ICQ; will it also become an angsty teenage panopticon?"

    Become?

  12. Terms of Service of My Car by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    If I give you a ride you agree to blow me. If you are a male and I decline the bj I can assign you to blow some guy I owe money to. If you are female, whether or not you blow me at the time, I can call you up at any hour of the day or night and demand a blow job. You are my bitch in perpetuity. You waive your right to be treated like a human being.

    Thanks for the inspiration AOL!

  13. Re:Didn't work for me. by AndyMan1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can see it now:

    BobTheAccountant89: Hey Sue, I just figured out a way to cut costs by 50% while boosting quality and productivity by 120%!!
    SexySueTheCEO: and then he took off my bra and we were so hot
    SexySueTheCEO: wrong IM window LOL
    BobTheAccountant89: ROFL
    SexySueTheCEO: shh.. ;)
    BobTheAccountant89: bashed.
    SexySueTheCEO: omg no!
    BobTheAccountant89: j/k
    SexySueTheCEO: lol
    BobTheAccountant89: lol
    SexySueTheCEO: so how do we do it?
    BobTheAccountant89: well when a man loves a woman very very much...
    SexySueTheCEO: OMG i mean you're idea
    BobTheAccountant89: well first we blah blah blah and then we blah blah blah and then we blah blah.
    SexySueTheCEO: wow that's great
    ***AOLSystemMSG: Your IM session has just been lost. The idea from "BobTheAccountant89" is now soley the intellectual property of AOL Time Warner Inc. per your agreement in the ToS. Thank you for using AOL. Be sure to tell your friends.

  14. Insider trading / spying on competitors / etc. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    A bunch of our sales people use IM.

    I hope we don't compete with any of the companies providing that service!!!

  15. Obligatory "1984" AOL-as-BB reference... by phillymjs · · Score: 4, Funny


    6079SmithW: Do you remember the thrush that sang to us, that first day, at the edge of the wood?
    AntiSexJulia: He wasn't singing to us. He was singing to please himself. Not even that. He was just singing.
    6079SmithW: We are the dead.
    AntiSexJulia: LOL! We are the dead.
    AOL System Msg: You are the dead.
    ~Philly

  16. dictionary look-ups? by Dog135 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dictionary look-ups on AIMers? You're kidding, right? Normal AIM messages look like a base64 encoded file anyways.

    --
    "That's so plausible, I can't believe it!" - Leela
    1. Re:dictionary look-ups? by geminidomino · · Score: 4, Funny

      wtf r u tlkn abt? stfu, stupd n00b.

      (ts a jk. laf)