Slashdot Mirror
Draft Guidelines for Space Tourists
IZ Reloaded writes "Draft guidelines for space tourists have already been written in the United States." From the article: "A paying customer will now be able to fly into space once he has been informed and accepts the risks of space travel. There are several factors to take into account, depending on whether a passenger is taking a speedy "pop top," up-and-down, suborbital voyage, versus climbing onboard space machinery to roar off into orbit for an extended stay."
Russia has had guidelines for their paying space tourists for a number of years:
1. You must have a pulse (optional)
2. Your check for $20,000,000 must clear before you launch whether you are a popstar or not.
I'm a big tall mofo.
1) take enough clean underwear with you...
Don't Fart.
Take the metal tab and insert it into the buckle. Pull tightly across your waste.
:P
That's a good idea. You don't want shit flying around once you're in free fall.
Notice you must be at least 4ft 5in tall to ride. 1. Please keep your arms and legs in the vehical at all times 2. There is no eating, drinknig , or smoking while the ride is in operation. 3. Remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. 4. Exit to the left, thank you for riding space mountain.
Unless space travel gets REALLY cheap, I don't think anyone but the wealthy will be able to actually go into space.
Wow, you are smart.
..wants to take over space too eh?
Anyway the rules:
Rule 1: Please don't take photographs of the spy satellites.
Rule 2: No one is to visit the moon landing place, until NASA checks out the first flight to there.
Rule 3: There will be no sex in space thanks.
Rule 4: All taxes must be fully paid before departing.
Rule 5: No snack food is to be released into zero G.
Rule 6: No smoking near the hydrogen gas.
Rule 7: Intoxicated individuals will be flushed out the airlock.
Rule 8: Please shake carefully when using the toliet facilities
Rule 9: Any use of the Klingon language will result in a severe beating
Rule 10: One way tickets shall no be sold, even to cult members.
"Me ihmiset emme regeneroidu."
"Hvor er det naermeste taenkende pattedyr?"
"Det her er min kammerat, ikke drikkepenge."
"Ceci ne peut pas être ma chambre, puisque je ne respire pas de l'ammoniac."
"Tjener, denne ret er stadig levende."
"ore no hovercraft ha unagi de ippai."
(apologies to Joanna Russ)
Take any medical disclaimer form and replace the medical terms with space terms.
/. on his PDA while in the WC may forget you exist. By signing here you waive our liability.
You may die. This procedure could kill you. We may break your teeth. We may destroy or remove the wrong organ. The doctor may have to take a crap and distracted by
I wonder what the inflight movie will be? How bout "Apollo 13"?
Flight Eng: System failure level 2 switching to main aux for overide.
Passenger: No its just a faulty sensor , shutdown tank three no overide needed.
Flight Eng: Are you sure?
Passenger: Yes proceed with the shutdown.
Flight Eng: Check , shutting down tank three
Whew, they didn't tell us you were an AE
Passenger: I'm not , but I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night..
"Bah weep granah weep ninni bong"
I just hope they've put "Don't Panic!" in a large friendly letters on a cover.
What if they were writting rules for flying an X-Wing? "Passengers must be able to do in-flight repairs and also must always say beep-beep"
I think another burocrate has justified his/her existence.