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Government Finishes Internet Study -- 7 years late
djp928 writes "A study commisioned by Congress in 1998 to report on internet traffic has finally been published -- 7 years, two presidents, and one internet boom/bust later.
Some of their findings include "DNS is good" and "We should probably have some more TLDs""
Tom Delay followed the orderly through the halls of the hospice. He was more than a little nervous at the idea of meeting Terri: hospitals made him a bit egdy. Nevertheless, he believed this to be a big item for his constituents, and he marched proudly to see this wonderful dying woman.
Eventually they reached the room and he asked the orderly to leave him alone with her for some 'personal prayer time.' The orderly obliged and left him there. Tom noticed that the lights were somewhat dim. Why not, he thought. It's not like this vegetable will need them. Tired after a long day with some of the fundamentalists outside the hospice he threw himself into a chair and began to think the situation over. He knew he'd already won big points with the religious crowd, but he hoped to find a way to score even bigger. Leaving the hospice and claiming that Terri had spoken to him through prayer was one idea that came to mind, but he immediately dismissed it as a little too outlandish. He needed something simple.
Heh, she's certainly livelier than my wife is, he thought to himself bitterly. He cast his eyes over at the faintly stirring Terri, who was staring at the ceiling with those lovely dark eyes and drooling quietly to herself. I have to admit, she was a beautiful woman once. But now she's just old. Terri here, though... the lack of intelligence notwithstanding, she has a simple charm to her. A simple charm that a down home Texan like myself might appreciate.
Tom quietly chastised himself for such thoughts. Granted, he may have become bitter after years of loveless marriage, and the semi-private hospital room did afford him some freedom to exercise thoughts that might otherwise accidentally slip out in public... but. But what? Tom took a moment to wrestle with his conscience. Lord, I know this to be wrong, but....
'It's a crying shame that such a lovely young lady might suffer such a painful death without a few final... comforts,' he said to himself, slightly surprised that he'd managed to work up the courage to entertain the notion. Still, was it not his duty as a good Christian to ease the suffering of this woman? He was, after all, only trying to elicit some sort of response. She would not respond as much as some women would, but then, Tom liked them that way. 'I suppose, my dear, that your last worldly affair might save me some rohypnol.'
Tom stood and checked to be sure that the door was closed and latched before he unbuckled his belt as quietly as possible... not an easy task with the giant buckle he had that complied with all Texas rules and regulations for belt buckle sizes. Without letting his pants slip he moved to sit beside her on the bed. Terri still didn't respond. Tom tentatively reached out a hand to fondle her breasts through the flimsy hospital gown, immediately feeling his member stiffen as he did so. He gently found her nipples through the gown and pinched them, though he got no response from her. Good...
He slowly removed what he could of the gown, though he was too busy keeping his pants on to do a proper job of turning her over to remove the whole thing. Instead he managed to get most of the front of her uncovered and let his hands wander and explore her, pausing a moment as he came across the hole where her feeding tube was missing. Idle thoughts flitted through his mind as he fingered it, but they fled and he continued his searching, until he found her surprisingly neatly trimmed bush.
As he gently tickled her glorious labia he found it impossible to resist rubbing himself through his clothes. All the while he was watching her face intently, hoping for some sign of life. But not too much life, he cautioned himself. Persistently vegetative women tell no tales.... Fortunately she was still contentedly drooling... from both sets of lips! He brought his fingers to his nose and took a good whiff of the acrid goodness thereupon.
Suddenly he heard a few sets of footsteps outside! With all the quickness he could muster he re-buckled his belt and tried
"Why did they cancel my favorite Sci-Fi show? I downloaded ALL the episodes!"
Wow, a typo ('too' not 'to') and offtopic, and replying to the wrong parent (should have been to "Typical government study...")!! Looks like I'm burning through my karma today...
"You know you don't act like a scientist, you're more like a game show host." Dana Barret
This should be part of "It's funny, laugh!".
I know this is off topic, but I've been searching the web since it happened hoping for a news article. Last night at about 1 AM eastern the gaming server I was in died, XFire (gaming chat) died, AIM died, and my web sites which were on 1and1.com servers were down, yet google and tons of other servers worked fine. I know it wasn't my connection because the aim servers went completely down for about a minute, as well as the xfire servers because I signed back on as soon as it all came back up and noone else on my buddy list was on out of the 12 or so that was on before it happened. i asked them all and they said they got disconnected. They all live in different states and have different ISPs. I checked my modem logs and nothing had happened with my connection. I went back to the game server and everyone said it "crashed" not realized what I had realized. Something weird happened, and I'm curious as to what it was. Oh, and the game server was in Texas.
Bah! IP addresses are just DNS for MACs. 0x2004F200696d for me!
And Congress seemed to care more that Clinton got head from a fat girl than they care about Bush starting a war on deceit (WMD's anyone?)
well, if he wasn't so busy getting head from a fat girl, maybe we wouldn't have had 9/11.
Or maybe if the Republican controlled congress wasn't squandering so much time and attention over the fat girl in Clinton's Second term we wouldn't have had 911. Oh wait 911 happened under Bush. Considering that we now know that Bush was more concerned with Iraq and didn't listen to his number 1 terrorism advisor. An advisor that happened to server under 4 presidents both Republican and Democrats. It's quite clear that Bush is the one who "blew it" and not the fat girl.
I guess it follows that the United States would be loved by all the Muslims if we exterminated the Jews instead of made them billionaires. Looks like that is what you want, anyway.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Perhaps you should wait until your cage has stopped shaking before you reply ;-)
Your an idiot, 911 happened under Bush but was planned, organized, and generally came together under Clinton. How long had Bush been President when it happened? Less then a year. How long was it being planned? Alot longer then that. And maybe if Clinton hadn't squandered so much time with the fat girl(s) then he would have been availible when asked for the final confirmation and Laden would have been dead in 2000.
I CLE_ID=34942 -one of the first google pages from "clinton ladin mission" There are plenty more.
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ART
I'm not going into the Clinton deal, but on Iraq and WMDs. Congress isn't going to go after Bush on Iraq because Congress voted to support beating the hell out of Iraq with a B-52 for a wide variety of reasons, WMD wasn't the only one.
0 021002-2.html
It's the Joint Resolution to Authorize the Use of United States Armed Forces Against Iraq from 2002 or PUBLIC LAW 107-243--OCT. 16, 2002. Some highlights
"Whereas in 1998 Congress concluded that Iraq's continuing weapons of mass destruction programs threatened vital United States interests and international peace and security, declared Iraq to be in "material and unacceptable breach of its international obligations" and urged the President "to take appropriate action, in accordance with the Constitution and relevant laws of the United States, to bring Iraq into compliance with its international obligations" (Public Law 105-235);
Whereas Iraq both poses a continuing threat to the national security of the United States and international peace and security in the Persian Gulf region and remains in material and unacceptable breach of its international obligations by, among other things, continuing to possess and develop a significant chemical and biological weapons capability, actively seeking a nuclear weapons capability, and supporting and harboring terrorist organizations;
Whereas Iraq persists in violating resolutions of the United Nations Security Council by continuing to engage in brutal repression of its civilian population thereby threatening international peace and security in the region, by refusing to release, repatriate, or account for non-Iraqi citizens wrongfully detained by Iraq, including an American serviceman, and by failing to return property wrongfully seized by Iraq from Kuwait;
Whereas the current Iraqi regime has demonstrated its continuing hostility toward, and willingness to attack, the United States, including by attempting in 1993 to assassinate former President Bush and by firing on many thousands of occasions on United States and Coalition Armed Forces engaged in enforcing the resolutions of the United Nations Security Council;
Whereas members of al Qaida, an organization bearing responsibility for attacks on the United States, its citizens, and interests, including the attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, are known to be in Iraq;
Whereas Iraq continues to aid and harbor other international terrorist organizations, including organizations that threaten the lives and safety of American citizens;"
And the big point
"SEC. 3. AUTHORIZATION FOR USE OF UNITED STATES ARMED FORCES.
(a) AUTHORIZATION. The President is authorized to use the Armed Forces of the United States as he determines to be necessary and appropriate in order to
(1) defend the national security of the United States against the continuing threat posed by Iraq; and
(2) enforce all relevant United Nations Security Council Resolutions regarding Iraq."
Bush didn't start the War in Iraq on deceit, Congress laid out a list of reasons for the United States to go to war.
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/10/2
http://www.c-span.org/resources/pdf/hjres114.pdf