Slashdot Mirror
First PC Virus Spreads to Humans
Davidlost writes "A PC-to-human virus, known as Malwarlaria.B is spreading in humans after a mass spamming in the early hours of Friday morning. It spreads through contact with keyboards on infected PCs. Be afraid, be very afraid."
Christ, if you are going to post an april fools joke, at least MAKE IT FUNNY. Y'know, zombie pope funny.
Feed the need: Digitaladdiction.net
Now I'm getting diseases from my internet girlfriend too!
(just kidding if you're reading this honey)
"If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
I think I already got it.
In Soviet Russia, users infect computers...
... wait, it's pretty much like that everywhere
-- I was raised on the command line, bitch
Infected users have been spotted mass-mailing commercial advertisements to residents and buisnesses alike to "enl4rg3 th3ir g1r7h and l3ng7h"
Some instances have been reported of the infected gathering in large numbers, known as Destroyers of Sells (DoS), at major corporations and retailers to block the the doors allowing noone in. Symptoms include slow performance, to much chatter (blondes excepted), and zombie like movements demanding the brains of a v14gra man.
I'm a virgo and on Slashdot. Coincidence? Yes.
EOM
Phew. I was afraid that those 802.11 chips I had embedded into myself made me more susceptible to the virus. But seeing how it only spreads through the keyboard...... .....uh oh...... I knew I should have implanted a usb keyboard driver chip as well. Well I will go find a plastic bubble / faraday cage combo, and will sit there untill this thing blows over.
I will see you later.
badness 10000
This would explain why I have a sudden urge to make unsolicited telephone sales calls.
President George W. Bush: "In response to this human catastrophe, I am calling Kuala Lampur right now to recall the ambassador to Malwarlaria."
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
I agree. The pope's dying story is a much better april's fool.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Wouldn't a true Slashdot April Fools Joke be one where all the articles throughout the day WEREN'T fake?
Apparently there was a bmw ad in a british newspaper advertising "the worlds first hands free steering wheel due to a EU ban on right hand drive cars".
Also on bbc radio 2 they pretended that a memorial to the queen mum was going to be lump of granite placed in pall mall. Lots of of people got quite upset about it, funny really.
I hope I get the Kournikova virus!!!
If you mod this up, your slashdot background will turn into a beautiful sunset!
Well, infectious puchcards are more realistic then a computer virus.
Just imagine a worker with hepetitus and doesn't know it because he hasn't seen a doctor since the last cocain party he was at. Now he was handling the cards, aven after sneezing,touching his eyses and mabey some other body parts with fluids. Not get a paper cut form one of the puch cards he was handling?
I have no idea if that could even hapen but it sounds liek it could. Kind of like getting aids from drinking after someone with it.
1992 called, and wants its joke back.
2000 called and wants their insult back......(sigh)
Even better:
Make it appear to be an anonymous posting to the poster only. Everyone else sees their ID.
Hilarity ensues
Don't anthropomorphize computers, they don't like it.
... the Random slashdot story generator
Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
1992 called, and wants its joke back.
Well the jerk store called...and they're running out of you!
-obligatory Seinfeld reference
"Open the pod by doors, Hal" > "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave" sudo "Open the pod bay doors, Hal" > alright
Eeeeeeewww! Punch card pr0n!
Wouldn't jizzing on the cards tend to jam the reader?
--
"Open source is good." - Steve Jobs
"Open source is evil." - Microsoft