Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

First PC Virus Spreads to Humans

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the get-it-off-me dept.

Davidlost writes "A PC-to-human virus, known as Malwarlaria.B is spreading in humans after a mass spamming in the early hours of Friday morning. It spreads through contact with keyboards on infected PCs. Be afraid, be very afraid."

12 of 231 comments (clear)

  1. I DID NOT EXPECT THIS by Jailbrekr · · Score: 3, Funny

    Christ, if you are going to post an april fools joke, at least MAKE IT FUNNY. Y'know, zombie pope funny.

    --
    Feed the need: Digitaladdiction.net
  2. geez! by theMerovingian · · Score: 5, Funny


    Now I'm getting diseases from my internet girlfriend too!

    (just kidding if you're reading this honey)

    --
    "If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
  3. Infectious by fulldecent · · Score: 4, Funny

    In Soviet Russia, users infect computers...


    ... wait, it's pretty much like that everywhere

    --

    -- I was raised on the command line, bitch

  4. Zombies by maotx · · Score: 4, Funny

    Infected users have been spotted mass-mailing commercial advertisements to residents and buisnesses alike to "enl4rg3 th3ir g1r7h and l3ng7h"
    Some instances have been reported of the infected gathering in large numbers, known as Destroyers of Sells (DoS), at major corporations and retailers to block the the doors allowing noone in. Symptoms include slow performance, to much chatter (blondes excepted), and zombie like movements demanding the brains of a v14gra man.

    --
    I'm a virgo and on Slashdot. Coincidence? Yes.
  5. Aha by John+Jorsett · · Score: 3, Funny

    This would explain why I have a sudden urge to make unsolicited telephone sales calls.

  6. Announcement from the White House by AtariAmarok · · Score: 3, Funny

    President George W. Bush: "In response to this human catastrophe, I am calling Kuala Lampur right now to recall the ambassador to Malwarlaria."

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  7. Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · · Score: 4, Funny

    I agree. The pope's dying story is a much better april's fool.

    --
    "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
  8. Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh by sumdumass · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, infectious puchcards are more realistic then a computer virus.

    Just imagine a worker with hepetitus and doesn't know it because he hasn't seen a doctor since the last cocain party he was at. Now he was handling the cards, aven after sneezing,touching his eyses and mabey some other body parts with fluids. Not get a paper cut form one of the puch cards he was handling?

    I have no idea if that could even hapen but it sounds liek it could. Kind of like getting aids from drinking after someone with it.

  9. Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    1992 called, and wants its joke back.

    2000 called and wants their insult back......(sigh)

  10. Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh by eyegor · · Score: 4, Funny

    Even better:

    Make it appear to be an anonymous posting to the poster only. Everyone else sees their ID.

    Hilarity ensues

    --

    Don't anthropomorphize computers, they don't like it.
  11. You need.... by mikael · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... the Random slashdot story generator

    --
    Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
  12. Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh by b1t+r0t · · Score: 3, Funny
    Now he was handling the cards, aven after sneezing,touching his eyses and mabey some other body parts with fluids.

    Eeeeeeewww! Punch card pr0n!

    Wouldn't jizzing on the cards tend to jam the reader?

    --

    --
    "Open source is good." - Steve Jobs
    "Open source is evil." - Microsoft