The Xbox 360 Unveiled

You may or may not have caught the Xbox 360 unveiling on MTV Thursday night, but the internet will provide. A plethora of sites have photos, videos, commentary, specifications, and interviews about the new system. Your fellow readers have pulled together to provide links to: 1up.com, Joystiq, Gamespot, The BBC, CNN, NYT, Gamespy, Team Xbox, Voodoo Extreme, Anandtech, and eToyChest. The official Xbox 360 site opened last night as well for word straight from the source. For more official images Ourcolony.net has been 'solved', and now features an OurColony specific video preview. Finally, for commentary on the event, the Video Game Ombudsman provides an alternative to the press releases. From the post: "Kyle Orland (9:28:42 PM): The future of gaming is a girl in a blue dress? Dan Dormer (9:28:47 PM): The future of gaming is a girl with a bag? Kyle Orland (9:28:57 PM): She's the Xbox! OMG!"

Comments

For the Trolls

[Anonymous Coward]

The following is being offered free of charge to all those who feel the need to troll the Slashdot Games section. Please print out a copy and keep it with you at all times. If you follow these simple steps, you trolling is guaranteed to improve.

1. If a game is currently on PS2 and there are plans to bring it out on the Xbox, make sure to claim that no one will want to play that game by the time it gets to the Xbox. For example, by the time Virtua Fighter 4/GTA3 comes to the Xbox, we'll all be playing something new.
2. Use the reverse logic if it is a game only on the Xbox that may be ported to other systems/PC later. Case in point, Halo. Say something to the effect of "I'll wait for the true version of Halo on the PC". "It will be much better than the Xbox version".
3. Constantly complain about FPS on consoles ACCEPT for Goldeneye.
4. Always use Bill Gates name. Act as if he is the one making the games.
By all means, if you run out of clever or interesting things to troll about, just bring up Mr Gates. Lots of people hate him and will be glad to agree with you.
5. Complain about the XBox controller. Even if you have never seen or used it, it won't matter. People will believe you when you say it's big. Be sure and try to provide a testimonial about your wife or girlfriend or kid who complains about the size of it. Also claiming to be injured by the controller can be the foundation of a great troll post.
6. When referring to the Xbox, try to scew the name a bit. Xblox, eggs bocks, the stupider the name, the more favorable of a response you will get.
7. Be sure and mention Japanese and European sales numbers. If you aren't sure what those sales numbers are, go ahead and make something up. Estimate low, most people will believe you.
8. Although Xbox owners seem to enjoy there games, make sure to comment on Xbox not having any games with good gameplay. Although the Xbox does share some ports with PS2 and Gamecube, it's okay to assume that the Xbox version of those ports has poor gameplay as well.
9. Since the Xbox has nice graphics, be sure and find a way to put a negative spin on this. Using the age old formula that states if a game has nice graphics, it must have terrible gameplay, you can convince people that Xbox games are all tech demos.
10. Defective Xbox stories are excellent to use in trolling. The best part is that they require no proof. I find that "the screen just froze up" works great. Occasionally you can use something really bizarre like "My friend bought an Xbox and it caught on fire and burned down there house. Now they are homeless. F*** Bill Gates."
11. When all else fails, lie. There are lots of people who will agree with you just because they hate MS

Re:For the Trolls

[Tx]

People will believe you when you say it's big. Be sure and try to provide a testimonial about your wife or girlfriend or kid who complains about the size of it.

That's just sick dude, leave the kids out of it ;-).

Re:For the Trolls

[Anonymous Coward]

I bought an Xblox the other day, and I wish I hadn't. I guess the poor sales number should have warned me (since they only sold 3000 EggsBlockses in Europe, and 12 in Japan). I don't know what Bill Gates was thinking when he designed the controller, but it really hurts my hands. It's way too big!

I was playing a game with it once, and it started vibrating, jumped right out of my hands, and severely wounded a small child. Also, it's strained my fingers so much, I'm starting to have problems 'viewing' my Natalie Portman image collection! I'm going to sue Bill Gates!
Sure, some of the games may have nice graphics, but the gameplay is absolutely shocking. I tried to play Halo, but it's nothing but a tech demo!

You may not believe this, but it's actually impossible to shoot! I played for five minutes, and couldn't kill anything at all, so I took the game back to the shop. It has nothing on Goldeneye. I'm going to wait for the PC version, which should be much better.

Also, my son really wanted me to buy a console, so that he could play GTA3, so imagine my surprise when I found out it was not yet released on the Xbox! You're a nigger. He had to undergo therapy for several weeks - but I'll get the money back from Bill Gates when I sue him.

I'm going to sell my XSocks on Ebay now. It'll probably cost me a lot in shipping, because it's really heavy. Bill Gates designed it that way, because he likes to hit immigrants over the head with his. I'll never buy another M$ product!"

Re:For the Trolls

[KDR_11k]

He's offering something for the grammar trolls as well.

Re:For the Trolls

[Otter]

Also, you have to to end with "Anyway, I only bought one because Bill Gates loses money on each one they sell."

Re:For the Trolls

[bhsx]

1. Noone will want to play Madden 2002 by the time it gets to Xbox.
2. I'll wait for the GNU/Linux version of Tony Hawk American Wasteland, thank you very much!
3. I have yet to see decent FPS in consoles lately, I mean I used to get ~22 FPS in Goldeneye.
4. Besides, Bill Gates writes shitty games.
5. The Xbox controller ate my baby!
6. Also, couldn't they have come-up with something more original than Xbochs? I mean, haven't we all (besides slow-ass Debian) switched to Xorg-bochs now anyway?
7. The Japanese are nuts about consoles, but you know what? Xbox 360 has sold ZERO, that's right, ZERO units there (I'm not making this stuff up!)
8. The Xbox port of GTA ate my baby!
9. Um, Xbox games are all tech demos, very little actual gameplay involved my friend.
10. My mom washed my Xbox, and it BLEW UP!
11. I have an Xbox 360 and it sucks. I use it now for weighing down my paninis.
And may I add, WTF? You know these listed posts are supposed to start with 0, right? HAND

30 minutes?

[RasendeRutje]

Jeez, a 30 minutes show, and no information at all, (except its uglyness and stupid name...)
... oh wait... its MTV what else could you expect?

Re:30 minutes?

[mattmentecky]

Jeez, a 30 minutes show, and no information at all, (except its uglyness and stupid name...)

Hey don't talk about the Ashlee Simpson show like that, she has feelings too ya know! ;)

Re:30 minutes?

[slapout]

MTV -- "Music Television"

its MTV what else could you expect?

Certainly not music.

Re:But.

[BeyondALL]

But, another interesting question: Will it Run Longhorn? The spec is quite good, and it would be nice to have a full OS for all my multimedia needs..

Looks Well

[CleverNickedName]

Sleek, curvaceous, white exterior with no messy wires?

They should have called it "iBox".

Not about the games?!

[Anonymous Coward]

With the Xbox 360, Microsoft is announcing that it's not just about games anymore.

Boy! That's just what us gamers wanted to hear! A new gaming console, but it's not just for games! wiippeee! Yahooo! Yehawww!

/sarcasm

Re:But.

[MKalus]

Oh that would be spiffy, then I could finally run Windows on my PowerMac!!!!!!!

Just what I am waiting for, this Mac OS X thing just isn't all it is cracked up to be. I am always happy when I can work at XP here at work (although it looks like Mac OS X for some reason).