House Passes Spyware Bills

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Posted by samzenpus on Monday May 23, 2005 @09:49PM from the listen-to-the-law dept.

stinerman writes "Today the house passed two bills aimed at stopping spyware / adware and unauthorized use of computers. H.R. 29 makes it 'unlawful for any person who is not the owner or authorized user of a protected computer to engage in deceptive acts or practices'. H.R. 744 (I-SPY Act) prohibits accessing a protected system via code copied on to the system to, among other things, disseminate personal information. Both bills sailed through the house and are expected to be passed by the Senate."

11 of 226 comments (clear)

Phew! by CommunistTroll · 2005-05-23 21:51 · Score: 5, Funny

I was beginning to be worried about spyware, but now that Congress has stepped up to the plate all my worries are over!
There'll be no more spyware by Christmas, let me tell you.
One more law by Actuator+Man · 2005-05-23 22:17 · Score: 3, Funny

What we really need is a law to prevent idiots from using a computer... (or driving a car, buying a gun, voting)
Re:Unintended consquences by surprise_audit · 2005-05-23 22:59 · Score: 4, Funny

I'd imagine there'll be something like a disclaimer appearing at the bottom of certain web pages. It'll say something like:
By displaying this page you agree to the following statement: I love spyware, load me up!!
in a very small font.
Re:What about non-US spyware? by surprise_audit · 2005-05-23 23:10 · Score: 2, Funny

What happens then if I get hit with spyware from some other country?

Write to your congressman. He'll forward your letter to a collating department at the Dept of Homeland Security. The first country/state/banana republic to score a stack 1 inch high (or 1000 complaints, whichever occurs first) wins a free WMD inspection courtesy of Dubya. Use really thick paper for quick results...
Great! by rogerzilla · 2005-05-23 23:27 · Score: 4, Funny

Let's hope it's as successful as the YOU-CAN-SPAM Act. That really showed those Nigerians and Chinese (not to mention the big American spammers) who was boss, didn't it?
Re:But... by Wordsmith · 2005-05-23 23:54 · Score: 2, Funny

Tell her to stop reading those braille porn sites.
Re:Wiretapping by JFMulder · 2005-05-24 00:28 · Score: 2, Funny

You don't get it. Carnivore doesn't exists, so it's a non-issue. *wink wink*
I-SPY and other such acts by potpie · 2005-05-24 00:30 · Score: 4, Funny

Anyone else notice that politicians these days always make their acts spell out cute little words or phrases with their acronyms (PATRIOT, I-SPY, etc.)?

Well I'm going to become a politician and write up the OMGWTFBBQ act.

--
Esoteric reference.
MS Home sales pitch by Aumaden · 2005-05-24 02:51 · Score: 3, Funny

Let's drop in on an MS House sale in progress:
Luser: Hey, what's this hole in the side of my house?
MS: That's our new invention! We call it a "door way". It lets you enter and leave your house!

Luser: And lets anyone walk right in and nick my telly!

MS: (smiling) Not to fear! We care about your security! That's why we offer MS House Professional! When you upgrade to MS House Pro, you get a device that closes the hol..., er, "door way", and protects your stuff! We call it... the "Door"! Juse close the "Door" and your MS House Pro is safe and secure!

Luser: That sounds all well and good, but what happens if someone walks up and opens my "Door"?

MS: <blink><blink>
1. Re:MS Home sales pitch by Hentai · 2005-05-24 09:08 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Luser: That sounds all well and good, but what happens if someone walks up and opens my "Door"?
  
  MS:
  
  Linux: Don't buy a house from this man! You need a secure entry and exit system! Our house plans are completely free, and there are plenty of liscensed contractors that can build one for you at a very reasonable price! Plus, it doesn't come with a door unless you ask for one - which, incidentally, I wouldn't! Thieves can get in, after all.
  
  Luser: So... how do I get in?
  
  Linux: We have two cannon-powered one-way pneumatic chutes, which are synchronized and studded with sensors so that only authorized objects and people sprayed with this special reflective paint can get in! And you have to know which chute is which, or you get blown to smithereens! Plus, the whole house uses the same chute system for everything - heating, cooling, garbage disposal - and the entire surface is studded with spinning, rotating blades!
  
  Luser: But... my kids! What if they -
  
  Linux: You'll get used to it! It comes with these notes scribbled directly by the designers of the chute! And there's even free plans for adding a doorknob and a doorbell to the chute iris, so you can make it feel just like their "doors", but with the added security of spinning, rotating blades!
  
  Luser: But I...
  
  Apple: Our doors come with locks on them. And you get real-marble floors and an indoor heated swimming pool!
  
  Luser: oooooh...
  
  Apple: That'll be $3,999,999.95 please.
  
  --
  -Hentai [in vita non pacem est]
I'm Really Friggin' Jaded by Rob+Riggs · 2005-05-24 03:15 · Score: 2, Funny

When I read House Passes Spyware Bills the first question that popped into mind was "OK, how many will we be required to install"?

--
the growth in cynicism and rebellion has not been without cause