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Robotic Bins and Benches in Cambridge
OldBus writes "According to the BBC robotic bins and benches have been installed in Cambridge. According to the article, they 'move and chuckle' and 'sing when the sun comes out.'" From the article: "Mr Bogen hopes the cutting edge technology would help keep the bins and benches safe from theft. The Junction has a three year maintenance contract with Greyworld and plans to name all the bins and benches individually to make carrying out repairs easier."
EX TER mi NATE!
DOC TOR!!
According to the article, they 'move and chuckle' and 'sing when the sun comes out.'
Yeah, but do they sigh contentedly when used?
It's like R2-D2's younger brother, R2-D3. He wasn't as successful as his older brother. He didn't get to travel the world with Jedi knights, instead he became a trash bin when he fell in love with a bench. He might not have the glamor of galactic battles, but he keeps the streets clean in his town!
..someone 'borrows' one of the bins and hacks it so that it has Tourette syndrome?
It'd be hilarious to hear and see the bins going all over the place with random movements shouting out 'Fuck!', 'Shit!', 'Cunt!', 'Bitch!', 'Dickhead!', etc.
Even if someone didn't take it to this extreme, I bet it won't be too long before someone does hack them to do something different from their original purpose.
Yeah, cause we all know theives steer away from cutting edge technology. New technology is like a new car. Once it drives off the lot it takes a big hit in resale value. Theives are wise and only steel old technology because its depreciation has stabilied.
"They are what's called "generative" so that over time they develop more and more personality. You'll find that one bench may be particularly attracted to a particular bin. They will chuckle and giggle sometimes or make rude noises."
I think it's great that we're encouraging public displays of affection between innatimate objects as long as it's not gay bin on bin or bench on bench action. Hopefully the maintainers can successfully get them to succcessfuly mate in this native environment so the project can spread and more people around the world can be delighted by their rude noises.
"Artistic and executive director of The Junction, Paul Bogen, said: "They're great because they're fun and art should be fun and it should be something people enjoy and not just stodgy and theoretical.""
I know I really hate the boring task of throwing away my trash while in public. I've been waiting for the day that someone would invent a moving trash can I'd have to chase around while it giggled and farted. Don't even get me started on taking a relaxing lunch break at a park, enjoying nature just wishing the bench would talk to me.
"The project cost £110,000 and was funded by the Arts Council and the National Lottery. "
The Arts Council and National Lottery have been overlooked for bigger civic projects for too long. This will teach the world not to overlook the genious lurkin within it's own governments. Hopefully they'll start taking a more prominent roles in other public works projects. Just imaging highway offramps in more beautiful shapes like tulips, famous faces, zebra stripes, or fat naked ladies. I'm personally tired of the old clover. Stairs that go up but wind up bringing you down and sideways. An elevator where you push 6 buttons and it randomly pics six floors (and a supplemental) to let you off at. It's not fun to press a buton and know that's where the elevator is going to stop and open it's doors to let you out. Where's the thrill? Where's the adventure? Where's the FUN?
Somebody needs to look for "Sirius Cybernetics" on these things. I just can't wait for the failed one that got Marvin's firmware ;-)
I've never been over there - I've been in the US all of my life....
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
So there's fewer desperate people in Europe stealing bikes, eh? Guess Austin needs more socialism first.
Power to the Peaceful
User: Bin, do yo have the time?
Bin: It's quarter past nine. By the way the bins down 3rd street say there's a rain squall heading this way; you might want to duck inside until it passes.
User: Is there a Starbucks around here?
Bin: No, but there's an independent espresso shop at 150, just half a block north of here. They left a promotional message on me, would you like to here it?
User: Uh, no thanks.
(Later, in a different part of the city.)
Joe: Bench, have you seen a girl named Mary?
Bench: Somebody was sitting on me for about five minutes earlier this morning, but I don't know if that's who you're looking for. That was about 8 am.
Joe: Well if she shows up, tell her that I waited for half an hour but I had to leave.
(later)
Mary: Was there somebody waiting for somebody here?
(Silence)
Bench: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Mary: yes, was somebody waiting for me here?
Bench: Well, somebody was here at about 8AM. About 10 there was a man who was here for five minutes. He left a message for somebody he was waiting for.
Mary: What was the message?
Bench: It might be personal; would you mind telling me your name, dearie?
Mary: My name is "Mary Moe."
Bench: Well, he said if Mary shows up, I should tell her he was waiting for her for half an hour.
Mary: But you said he was only here for five minutes? Around 10 AM?
Bench: Yes. He arrived here at 10 Am, four minutes and five seconds, and left at 10 AM, eight minutes and fifty three seconds.
Mary: Oooh. How can he be such a jerk!
Bench: I'm sorry dearie, I can't help you with that. You sound like you might be in trouble. If you need a real person to talk to, I can put you in touch with one. Are you in trouble?
Mary: Uh, no thanks, I'm fine.
Bench: Don't mention it.
(Later on that day Mary calls Joe)
Mary (on phone): Joe, you jerk! You stood me up!
Joe: No I didn't! I waited for half an hour! I left a message with the bench, the one that sounds like somebody's grandmother!
Mary: You idiot. The bench told me you were only there for only five minutes. And you were late. And you were supposed to meet me by the statue of Douglas Adams, not Lewis Carrol.
Joe: Which statue of Adams?
Mary: The Equestrian one you dope. The seats at the big monument are granite.
Joe: Oh, no! I hate that bench. It's so crabby.
Mary: Not as crabby as I am.
Joe: OK, look, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you I swear!
Mary: Yeah right.
Joe: No, really. Meet me this afternoon at the bench by the pond.
Mary: Which bench?
Joe: The one that sounds like Barry White.
Mary: Oooh! I love that one.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
True story. In the late 80s, I worked for a company that used Macs. The guy before me set up the applications on Macs in a folder called "bin" because, well, that's what you do.
Later, I had a young go-getter working for me who decided this was too cryptic. Having learned about computers in the era of the PC, she had no idea where "bin" came from, so she relabelled all those folders to "Bin of Applications".
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Yes but when you try to steal the bench it screams and howls in terror.