Robotic Bins and Benches in Cambridge
OldBus writes "According to the BBC robotic bins and benches have been installed in Cambridge. According to the article, they 'move and chuckle' and 'sing when the sun comes out.'" From the article: "Mr Bogen hopes the cutting edge technology would help keep the bins and benches safe from theft. The Junction has a three year maintenance contract with Greyworld and plans to name all the bins and benches individually to make carrying out repairs easier."
I'd be more likely to steal a bin or bench that talks and makes 'rude noises'.
Bins that sing and chuckle are going to be safer from theft? In what alternate universe does the article writer live in?
Making the moon less necessary since 1998.
EX TER mi NATE!
DOC TOR!!
According to the article, they 'move and chuckle' and 'sing when the sun comes out.'
Yeah, but do they sigh contentedly when used?
Safe fom theft, yes. But this will not go down well. They're like twisted appliances from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. These bins will be a certain target for vandalism --- especially after they've annoyed the hell out of all-and-sundry with their cheerful singing. Pah! It just confirms what people in the UK have known all along: local councils are full of rubbish.
..someone 'borrows' one of the bins and hacks it so that it has Tourette syndrome?
It'd be hilarious to hear and see the bins going all over the place with random movements shouting out 'Fuck!', 'Shit!', 'Cunt!', 'Bitch!', 'Dickhead!', etc.
Even if someone didn't take it to this extreme, I bet it won't be too long before someone does hack them to do something different from their original purpose.
User: Bin, do yo have the time?
Bin: It's quarter past nine. By the way the bins down 3rd street say there's a rain squall heading this way; you might want to duck inside until it passes.
User: Is there a Starbucks around here?
Bin: No, but there's an independent espresso shop at 150, just half a block north of here. They left a promotional message on me, would you like to here it?
User: Uh, no thanks.
(Later, in a different part of the city.)
Joe: Bench, have you seen a girl named Mary?
Bench: Somebody was sitting on me for about five minutes earlier this morning, but I don't know if that's who you're looking for. That was about 8 am.
Joe: Well if she shows up, tell her that I waited for half an hour but I had to leave.
(later)
Mary: Was there somebody waiting for somebody here?
(Silence)
Bench: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Mary: yes, was somebody waiting for me here?
Bench: Well, somebody was here at about 8AM. About 10 there was a man who was here for five minutes. He left a message for somebody he was waiting for.
Mary: What was the message?
Bench: It might be personal; would you mind telling me your name, dearie?
Mary: My name is "Mary Moe."
Bench: Well, he said if Mary shows up, I should tell her he was waiting for her for half an hour.
Mary: But you said he was only here for five minutes? Around 10 AM?
Bench: Yes. He arrived here at 10 Am, four minutes and five seconds, and left at 10 AM, eight minutes and fifty three seconds.
Mary: Oooh. How can he be such a jerk!
Bench: I'm sorry dearie, I can't help you with that. You sound like you might be in trouble. If you need a real person to talk to, I can put you in touch with one. Are you in trouble?
Mary: Uh, no thanks, I'm fine.
Bench: Don't mention it.
(Later on that day Mary calls Joe)
Mary (on phone): Joe, you jerk! You stood me up!
Joe: No I didn't! I waited for half an hour! I left a message with the bench, the one that sounds like somebody's grandmother!
Mary: You idiot. The bench told me you were only there for only five minutes. And you were late. And you were supposed to meet me by the statue of Douglas Adams, not Lewis Carrol.
Joe: Which statue of Adams?
Mary: The Equestrian one you dope. The seats at the big monument are granite.
Joe: Oh, no! I hate that bench. It's so crabby.
Mary: Not as crabby as I am.
Joe: OK, look, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you I swear!
Mary: Yeah right.
Joe: No, really. Meet me this afternoon at the bench by the pond.
Mary: Which bench?
Joe: The one that sounds like Barry White.
Mary: Oooh! I love that one.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
True story. In the late 80s, I worked for a company that used Macs. The guy before me set up the applications on Macs in a folder called "bin" because, well, that's what you do.
Later, I had a young go-getter working for me who decided this was too cryptic. Having learned about computers in the era of the PC, she had no idea where "bin" came from, so she relabelled all those folders to "Bin of Applications".
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.