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The Lawsuit of the Rings
securitas writes "The New York Times' Ross Johnson reports that Lord of the Rings trilogy director, Peter Jackson, is suing New Line Cinemas for underpaying him by as much as $100 millon. The lawsuit filed Feb. 28 alleges that New Line committed fraud. Jackson 'reportedly receives about 20 percent of the gross revenue realized by New Line for the trilogy, minus expenses such as taxes.' Jackson's lawyer confirmed that of the more than $4 billion that New Line collected from revenues, merchandise and licensing, Jackson has received 'almost $200 million to date from New Line for the trilogy.' If the opening line doesn't make you want to read the article, I don't know what will: 'What if Frodo Baggins, instead of confronting the evil empire in "The Lord of the Rings," just got himself a lawyer and sued?'"
From TFA:
Well, that's a silly question...between 'professional courtesy' and 'conflict of interest', no lawyer would ever take the case against the evil empire.... ^_^
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~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
Well, the movie wouldn't have been as good, though we probably would have seen more riots on TV, with the police whacking/tear gassing geeks dressed up as elves and hobbits. It certainly would have made the evening news more entertaining anyway.
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
"Nassty New Line Cinemas...we hates them!"
"I told you they were tricksy...I told you they were false..."
^_^
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~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
Hobbiton: Wealthy hobbit Frodo Baggins today filed a lawsuit against the Dark Lord Sauron claiming damages from an army of orcs, as well as personal injury from the so-called "One Ring."
The charges brought up against Sauron include: The invasion of Rohan and Gondor via orcs, trolls, and evil men; the scouring of the Shire; the corruption of Saruman the White and the subsequent turning of Isengard into a fortress of evil; and, last but certainly not least, the use of a Ring of Power to twist the mind of the young hobbit.
Frodo's legal counsel, one Tom Bombadil, believes that the prosecution has a very good chance of winning. "La de da," Mr. Bombadil sang, "all of my elves are very happy and joyous! And we love singing too! La la la..." At that, this reporter proceded to stab him several times with a nearby broadsword.
In court today, the defense for Mr. Sauron called forth one Smeagol, more commonly known as Gollum. When asked whether Mr. Baggins could be trusted, Gollum commented, "They STOLES it from us! Filthy, tricksy hobbitses! They STOLES my preciousssss!" Sauron's defense then proceded to testify that, due to the fact that Mr. Baggins' father was, in fact, recruited as a "burglar" by the late Thorin Oakenshield, and the fact that he did indeed steal the ring from Mr. Gollum, Frodo's entire testimony concerning the ring was suspect. Frodo's counsel did not offer a rebuttal.
Sauron's lawyers declined to comment on any of the charges being brought up before them, except with a very cryptic, "One Countersuit to rule them all..."
Many Bothans died to bring you this sig.
"...And in other news tonight, the nine attourneys for Sauron descended the steps of the courthouse in Minas Morgul to deliver a press conference. In it, they announced that the case against Sauron has been dismissed on the grounds that the plantiff's lawyers have all been either slain, bent to the Dark Lord's will, or checked into a mental institution in neighboring Osgiliath, and therefore failed to appear in court on time."
It must be Windows. It needs half a gig of RAM and a hardware-accelerated graphics card just to run Solitaire.
What if Frodo Baggins, instead of confronting the evil empire in "The Lord of the Rings," just got himself a lawyer and sued?
Hmm, who would have been cast?
Frodo: Joe Pesci
Sam: Chris Farley
Merry: Adam Sandler
Pippin: Ben Stiller
Gimli: The Pat character from SNL
Legolas: Calista Flockheart (Ally McBeal)
Gandalf: Jack Nicholson
Aragorn: Antonio Banderas
Boromir: Ahnold
Elrond: Christopher Walken
Saruman: Crispin Glover
Arwyn: never happen, because this was a hokey non-character to begin with...
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
I love the quote where they say they gave Jackson "enough money to rebuild Baghdad, but it wasn't enough". They try to make him sound greedy, to cover up the fact that he's basically suing them for... being greedy.
What do you mean? Lawyers sue the US government all the time.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
Yeah, I hope someone quotes this the next time the studios take someone to court for downloading thier movies ;-)
"(put studio name here) makes incredible movies and did an amazing job on (insert movie you were downloading here), but there's a certain piggishness involved here. Consumers already gave them enough money to rebuild Baghdad, but it's still not enough for them."
"reality has a well-known liberal bias" - Steven Colbert
Nazgul, Nazgul, Nazgul, Nazgul, Nazgul, Nazgul, Nazgul, Nazgul
Hob-bit! Hob-bit!
Ring, a riiinnnng, ohhhh, there's the riiiing!
All Your Memory Are Belong To Java
Oh, come on. The Lord of the Rings saga didn't make much at all. You know, the zero box office, the complete lack of anyone even vaguely interested in the DVD. I'm sure there's no movie studio in the world who would be interested in picking it up.
... if this guy wants to make anything involved with Middle Earth, it will get made. Heck, if he wanted to film an earthworm orgy it would probably get made, because he has a track record of doing Great Things. When you have that, your movies get made.
Seriously
Besides, $200m is enough to make it on your own, without interference from studio suits.
D